| Wednesday April 10th 2002 Went out and bought blinds for my windows last night, so maybe tonight I'll succeed at getting them installed and have some privacy at last. It's going to require some nifty work with a drill and a masonry bit, but I just might pull it off. Here's my written confession: handyman I ain't. I do fix basic things like toilet seats and things that can be glued back together; but I keep my hands out of the electricity box, and call the plumber if there's a serious leak going on. The largest project I ever challenged myself to tackle was building a fence in the backyard of my ex-house. It actually turned out rather well (!) so my confidence is growing. What's hanging a few blinds compared to that, eh? Once that's dealt with, I'll need to address the bathtub. It's in okay shape, but it's looking pretty chipped in some areas. I figure I'll give it a good scraping/scrubbing and see what I can get to touch it up with. Then there's the kitchen sink plug that's looking pretty worn out, and the fan switch in the bathroom is operated with a piece of string so maybe I can get a small pullchain for that... Wow, this doesn't sound like me. I used to put up with the status quo and not worry about any of this stuff. I guess when you're the sole occupant of your home, you don't get that "aw, the other person will take care of that" excuse. Anything you let go, everybody knows it was YOU that let it go. The best part is, if I start really developing this habit of fixing things when I see they need it, maybe it'll carry over the day I'm not living alone anymore. I can always make the effort, right? Dropped by the house for more stuff last night. My ex was there, and it was an interesting experience. Interesting because I fell into my old personality again as soon as I started talking with her. I never realized how reluctant I was to speak up around her before. I suddenly felt slower and more tired, until I was safely away and back in my apartment for an hour or so. I think maybe living with her was more wearing than I ever noticed. Now I can make a fresh start. I can be somebody completely different, in the company of somebody completely different who can get to know a different version of me. A snappier, wittier more fun to be with version. The sad part is, that's what my ex always wanted from me. I just couldn't bring it out when I was with her. Interesting. |