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FRIDAY August 21, 1998 My wife and I got into a spat about something on the way to the Croce's gig. I now have forgotten what it was about. Anyway, when I got to Croce's I was in this terrible, awful mood. I just didn't want to speak and deal with anybody tonight. I don't know. Let's face it. This whole music business, it's successes and stresses are taking it's toll on our marriage. Whenever she comes home from work I'm on my way out to a gig. On weekends I try to catch up on some sleep, but I'm expected to do all these errands and projects. It's very hard. Perhaps I could just not sleep at all but I'd get very sick eventually. I'm already lacking in sleep as it is. Sometimes I'm a little late for gigs, and the band gets pissed off because I'm 10 minutes late (this swing band is very anal when it comes to being late), and it's because I have these family things I have to do, so it makes it hard to walk that fine line between pleasing the band and pleasing my family. The fact of the matter is I'm getting sick and tired of it all. I've entertained thoughts about quiting the band. Part of the problem is that we're doing all these out-of-town shows which are very hard to do, especially when you have to get home at 4am in the morning. I know, it's part of being successful, and I'm glad that we ARE playing all over Southern California and beyond. But at what point do I keep doing this if the band isn't getting signed or we're not going national and opening for a major act. Sure, it'd be great to get into the limelight, which is kind of what is happening to us now, but I also get frustrated because I have to work with a few musicians in the band who I feel really shouldn't be in the band. I mean, there are an awful lot of mistakes that I've heard, and I've brought up time and time again. High school level, beginning band type of mistakes. Guys in the band are telling me that it's okay to make mistakes once in a while, but WE know better don't we? All's I know is that when I pay big bucks to see someone in concert they better not make any mistakes at all, because I'll know it for sure. It's either that, or I get high and so plastered out of my gord that I don't care if a band screws up or not. But at the same time, if people go to a concert to see someone big, they'll either say one of two things: great band, or they suck! Anyway, the Croce's gig tonight was a totally profound event for me, as has been in the past. Maybe the general audience didn't realize it, but there were some of the best reputable musicians there tonight from the local music scene. There was Hollis Gentry, and Cesar Lozzano. I mean Cesar is one of the best drummers in town, period. But I was flattered when he looked at me and gave me this nod of approval and two thumbs up! He hasn't seen me in awhile, but I could tell he was impressed with my improvement on the drums. I guess I've gotten my revenge in a way. I mean, I used to play Croce's jazz bar, which has the rep for being THE jazz spot in San Diego. I'd been playing there for two years solid before a couple of bands that are regulars there kicked me out, saying basically that I wasn't good enough. So, now I've gotten my revenge playing in this swing band that's becoming very popular all over and outside of San Diego, that maybe my success can't be denied now. Maybe those bands that have abandoned me and left me by the wayside might be regretting it by now, because I'm now in a highly successful band with musicians who DO respect me for my playing ability. Well, I hate to think that way sometimes, but hey, I've been screwed royally by other musicians who I've worked with in the past. This music business is a son-of-a-bitch sometimes, but I just have to find a way to deal with it all. ...and my solo tonight? Well, I'd like to say that my drum
solo was fantastic. Everybody told me that, including the great
jazz musicians that came to see us tonight. But somehow I know that
wasn't my best solo yet. It probably was a great solo,
but I know I could do an even better solo if I just would sit down and
woodshed.
CDs Played Today:
Dave Weckl - Heads Up
The Big Lebowski (video) The Apostle (video)
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