The Captain Spud Saga
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by Gaylord Fritchley, Music Editor
of "Goat Fancier's Gazette"
(note: some names have been changed to protect the guilty) |
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Chris P Spud began his musical journey playing the nose-flute in his homeland of Gibralta. His unusual style won him a scholarship to attend the Australian Academy Of Nasal Flautists but when he got there, it had been closed down due to an outbreak of "Scabby Nostril Syndrome". His only option was to enrol next door at the Institute For The Musically Insane, where he was encouraged to play other instruments, like the Spoon Chimes. The nick-name "Captain" was coined when it was discovered he liked Country music. Spud soon made friends with a group of the most demented students and they started making evil plans. |
| This gang of freaks decided to escape and start
their own un-named "Musical Collective" with various members forming
weird bands like The Deutronium
Family, Reality Squad, The Bothers Head
and perhaps most infamous of all, The Cock-Eyed Typists.
They managed to steal, borrow
or build a vast array of strange musical equipment and set up a
make-shift
studio in an abandoned brothel. |
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A friend from The
Fork Maniac lent them a
4-track and Capt Spud was
put in charge of the recording equipment and Master-tapes. He soon
noticed that many tapes had enough space left on the end for a short
song or two, so he asked the 'Typists if he could use their
instruments to record his own song ideas on the ends of their tapes.
They were always keen to try something new or stupid - and even helped
out on some his early songs! |
| Sadly, after 3 years of non-stop musical
debauchery, the 'Typists decided they had to leave the Big City
for the tranquility of a remote coastal swamp-town. They returned the
borrowed equipment and Capt Spud was left with the Master tapes
but had no 4-track. |
| He spent the next two years playing his home-made
guitar in The Doggie Breath Boys until he met is old friends Dr
Ecks & Dr Why from Secondary
Vapour Belt at a celebrity goat auction. |
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They had built a "Sound Lab" in their rumpus
room, so Capt Spud
offered to help and they let him record his own songs with their
instruments and 4-track. Things went well for 5 years but eventually S.V.B. moved to a goat farm. They
gave Spud some equipment and left their
Master-tapes
with him for safe-keeping, then went off to practice animal husbandry...
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The Captain again found himself without much
equipment but the lovely Ms KakL encouraged him to continue recording
with anything he had. Before too long, his buddies from Gonad
Filth Arena loaned Spud their 4-track and he was finally able to
get his CDs produced! (also thanks to Ms KakL's computer!!!)
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Recently, the
Captain (left) and his old friend Raw Sex
have been recording songs under the name of Raw Spud. It's best described as
"Drunk Rock", they combine Raw Sex's beer-fuelled guitar and toilet
themes with Spud's cocktail-based keyboard jingles. Their foul deeds
have been released on CD by Chastity Records and
E.C.
Productions. More is on the way! |
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Copyright © 2006 by Captain Chris P. Spud Photo © 2006 Ms Kakl Drawings © Victor Kelly