I
received this mail, announcing “The new Mallets Creek Branch is designed
to integrate many sustainable systems in order to maximize the amount of
energy that can be harnessed from the environment. Both the building
itself and the surrounding landscape capitalize on environmental
principles, which allow the building to operate in harmony with the
ecosystem and the community which it serves. The Library will teach, by
example, responsible coexistence with the natural environment.” I hope it
teaches history, art, trains, and all the other stuff in the Dewey Decimal
System, too. Oh, and I sure hope it has some books because they don’t seem
to mention that. I kind of assumed the property taxes I pay would go to
that purpose, lovely as living in harmony with nature is. (Posted December 30, 2003)
I was
driving home from work on dark, snow-covered freeways today and came up
with a brilliant idea for our auto makers. On my drive I noticed lots of
cars changing lanes, entering and exiting freeways, and otherwise changing
direction. Now stay with me while I describe my pie-in-the-sky device to
you. Let’s think outside the box here and imagine what driving would be
like if all cars came standard with turn signals. Really! The ability to
know when cars are going to come careening into your lane before they do so! Knowing that
cars want to exit! We could have something like flashing lights on the
front and rear corners activated by a switch inside the car. So
convenient! I give this idea freely to all humanity without any royalty
requirements. Next time: disconnecting the horn from the brakes! (Posted
December 17, 2003)
At one
level it is easy to dismiss the campaign finance reform law and the
Supreme Court decision
basically upholding it. Now, don’t get me wrong, I think the law is awful.
Limiting political speech is just plain wrong. Oh sure, the lawyers for
both sides will figure out loopholes and money will keep flowing, but this
is the problem. When a basic right such as petitioning your government for
redress, which is what this is all about really, requires lawyers to
determine if you are violating the law, something is seriously wrong. The
big boys have lawyers. Little groups don’t. So a law designed to stop
“them” from drowning out the voice of “us” just did the reverse. This is
the main reason I always do my own taxes. I’m college educated, have
nothing complicated like stocks to figure out, and started life as a math
major. If I can’t do my own taxes, I’d best grab an assault rifle, ammo,
and canned goods (and a can opener) and head for the hills. Anyway, this
bugs me. (Posted December 12,
2003)
I
heard on the radio today something that really bugs me. Since when did we
start calling actors and actresses just plain “actors?” I’m listening to a
story on the radio and they mention that some actor is involved in some
humanitarian project or something. Fine, as I’m listening my brain does
<ernestborgninementalimage>. It’s an
“actor,” right? Then the reporter mentions the name, say Helen Hunt, and
my brain locks up.
AHHH! Dissonance! Dissonance! </ernestborgninementalimage>
Egad, the Borgnine image is overlapping with the Hunt image. Why is it so
wrong to specify “actress” when referring to females? Why? (Posted November 25, 2003)
You
know, I try really hard. I don’t watch adult-level shows with my son
around. I don’t even watch news if it starts to show any type of war- or
terror-related pictures. My TV viewing has really regressed. I know Sponge Bob. The Bachelor is a mystery. So we’re eating dinner and watching
“Mr. Ed.” Then the commercial for some type of bra with gel sacs included kicks in.
I figured, it’ll be quick. Better to ignore it
and it will just end. But no, it went on at length. Thanks TV Land. I
don’t think that was one of your archaic period commercials. (Posted November 22, 2003)
So I have to ask, since we overthrew the Saddam
regime back in April and won the war (yes, we did), why are those who
opposed that war still
called "anti-war protesters?" Or "Peace"
advocates? I mean, even at the time they seemed far more pro-Saddam than
anti war or pro peace. But just for argument's sake, let's say that if you
opposed side A attacking side B on the basis that side B didn't want to
fight and just wanted be left alone (although in this case to kill, torture,
rape, and plot our deaths), you can be called "anti-war." Fine.
But now, when side A has won and just wants to be left alone in peace free
from attacks by side B and doesn't want any fighting (in this case to
build a free and democratic country), how can those who oppose American-led
occupation and cheer on the insurgents be called "anti-war?" If
your argument is that war itself is wrong, you should be protesting the Baathists. Of course, if you are simply pro-Baath, or more likely just anti-American or anti-Bush,
then it makes sense you protest the American invasion and occupation
equally. But please don't call them "anti-war." Oh. Read Steyn on this, too. (Posted November 18, 2003)
“Sen.
Ted Kennedy, D-Mass., said
Democrats will continue to resist what he describes as "any
Neanderthal" the president nominates [to the courts].” Neanderthals?
Please. I believe the politically correct term is “Sloped Forehead Americans.”
Some people are just so insensitive. (Posted November 14, 2003)
This really pisses me off. (via Instapundit)
How on Earth can our justices use unratified treaties and the general “the
rest of the world thinks” line of argument to decide the Constitutionality
of American laws? I dare say we will never see the Court cite Wahhabi thoughts on the role of women in society the
next time they visit a women’s rights issue. Can Congress enact a law that
excludes foreign precedent as a basis for Supreme Court decisions? Must
the Constitution itself be amended? I dare say this should be the true
litmus test for nominees to this court: whose laws do you interpret? I
suppose this relates to the idea that some just don’t trust their fellow
Americans. If foreigners agree with our government’s policy, they are “lap
dogs.” If Americans agree with Chirac, they are “sophisticated” and “multi-lateralist.” Unfreakingbelievable.
(Posted November 4, 2003)
Ed Asner is scum. I say
this with some difficulty. I think he hangs on to likeability because so
many people (including me) still think of him as Lou Grant. The man hired
Mary Tyler Moore, for Pete's sake, how bad can he be? Bad
enough that he apparently believes the left has a list of conservative
commentators to "get." Bad enough that he thinks Stalin is
misunderstood and is the historical figure he respects most. Let's see
how fast this dictator-loving celebrity
will be condemned. Or whether anyone will examine his vast left-wing
conspiracy. (Via instapundit and
andrewsullivan.com)
(sounds of crickets)
Yeah, that's what I thought. (Posted October 13, 2003) NOTE: the Ed Asner likes Stalin line has been
retracted by the reporter. Just thought I'd mention it. I still don't like
Asner's political views, but I am at least grateful that he didn't sink to the
level first reported. My apologies for spreading this rumor. And I retract the "scum" crack. Simple political disagreement does not deserve that judgment.
NATO standard phonetic alphabet should be taught in school. I hate it when I'm on the phone and somebody asks me to spell something I just said. "My name? That's Bravo Romeo India Alpha November." "What?" I get in reply. Sigh. "Ok, that's B as in BOY, R as in ... ." I feel like an idiot. So imagine my surprise when I called FedEx to track a package; and when asked for the alpha-numeric code, I started "Delta Bravo ... ." She didn't even hesitate and told me where it was. Kudos to FedEx. They get points just for that. (Posted October 11, 2003)
So, the mayor of Paris has granted
honorary citizenship to the cop-killer Mumia.
What jerks. Why the rest of France tolerates this bastion of snooty murderer-lovers
who give the entire country a bad name, I do not know. But since the
Parisians think citizenship such a great honor to bestow upon murderers, I
say we grant honorary Parisian citizenship to all the people on death row
here. That way the Parisians get to feel good—and so do we. I know I'll
feel just a little bit better knowing that Mumia
will be executed as a Parisian citizen. (Posted October 9, 2003)
This keeps getting worse. Every year. Mister and I went to Meijer over the weekend to pick up some necessities (you know, bean bag chair, duct tape, birthday presents for his sister, a Detroit Lions pennant--gotta love his spirit of hope). Anyway, here it is early October and I haven't even begun to think about buying Halloween candy. Yet Meijer was putting out the Christmas stuff already! So here I am, staring slack jawed at aisles of Halloween stuff, Thanksgiving things, and Christmas trees and decorations! Scrooge wasn't evil! He just went shopping too often! Who could blame him after a nearly three-month long assault on his senses? I don't think I'm being out of line here when I say we should all insist that Thanksgiving displays should not go up until after Halloween is over. And Christmas displays do not EVER go up until Thanksgiving. Since Santa comes to town in the Thanksgiving Day parade I'll cut some slack and allow one day of overlap. But that's it. I swear if I hear any Christmas music in a mall before December 1, I will seriously go postal on somebody. (Posted October 7, 2003)
I keep seeing commercials for the next "Joe Millionaire" where Fox is tricking European--apparently all French--women into thinking some shmoe is a rich American oil baron. You know, this is just rude and those women don't deserve this. Ridicule Chirac and de Villepin, by all means. Make jokes about their government being run by cheese-eating surrender monkeys. I know the women are golddiggers, but still, needless cruelty to women should be beneath us. (Posted October 5, 2003)
Ok, I'm seriously annoyed at the people who claim they "support our troops" so much
that they want them brought home from Iraq. Are they freaking serious? Do they support
our firefighters so much that they never want them to leave the safety of the fire house
and fight fires? Are they so supportive of our police that they never want them to arrest
criminals? (Ok, that one is a bad example, I admit) Supporting our troops consists of
risking their lives for only missions that protect our nation and providing them the tools
and support to win that mission. A few who are anti-war have at least had the guts to say
they want a million Mogadishus or think we need to be defeated to cultivate humility
(like the French?). Those who try to feign support for troops they'd rather see prosecuted
in a Belgian war crimes trial just don't have the guts to say what they really think. If they want to argue against fighting the war, just do it. (Posted
October 4, 2003)
It is this kind of thinking that totally torques me off. The headline reads "Liberians Not
Ready to Give Up on U.S.:War-Ravaged Nation Wants to 'Believe in America' Despite
Disappointments" Huh? Just how isit possible to blame America for this? Why aren't
Liberians disappointed in Canadians? Or Germans? Or Belgians? Or Nigerians? Or how
about each other? But no, we have failed to stop them from massacring each other so they
are disappointed in us. But they still want to believe in us. Gee, thanks. Is it even possible
to more thoroughly abdicate responsibility in favor of blaming us for everything that does
or does not happen (or for what we do or do not do)? (Posted September 21, 2003)
This has been a rough week listening to NPR. I don't know what was worse, the feverish ravings of Paul Krugman or the earnest fools who called in to suggest that Krugman is too moderate and that we are in fact in year three of the Thousand Year Bushreich. And this on the day we find that Ashcroft has used section 215 of the PATRIOT Act to look into zero library records. Anybody afraid to read is apparently worried about their own shadow. Amazing. (Posted September 19, 2003)
Let me add Lycos Sidesearch to my list of really freaking annoying things. Once again, without me apparently doing anything, Lycos Sidesearch appeared on my computer. For the last three days my IE has been crashing every time (once I got in, actually) I tried to add something to this site. Just crashed. Plus,everything was incredibly slow. Every popup was resistant to the simple right click and die routine. I hadn't seen this and at first I didn't associate the problem with Lycos SS. No. I reloaded IE from my ISP. No change. I spent an hour online checking my computer for a virus. No virus. I deleted programs and files in case I'm overloading my old Pentium. No change. I cleared the disk cache. No change but all my cookies that tell newspapers who I am are dead now. Then, finally, I noticed the error message referred to Lycos SS. So I went looking for it and uninstalled the damn thing. IE works again. Three days of headache and I swear I did nothing to invite that stupid program into my computer. (Posted September 1, 2003)
I am so terribly pleased to have heard an NPR reporter yesterday mock presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich for his fake Spanish accent when he spoke a couple Spanish sentences! Is this progress, or what? (Posted August 26, 2003)
This is a long-standing grievance. About a year and a half old, at least, I'd say. Mattel's Hotwheels franchise now sucks. Oh, some of the stuff is still great. But most sets are incredibly focused, require batteries, and once a kid tires of seeing the car get drenched in goo or something, are useless. I've fought this by only buying sets with pieces and roads that can be used in different ways, as imagination takes Mister. But what really torques me off is that you cannot buy simple orange tracks and the clamps that let you use gravity to send the cars on their way. Loops, banked curves, and all that are just gone. Oh, the car packs show on the back the familiar orange tracks and clamps, but they are gone. The pictures are just to appeal to the parents who remember the stuff from their childhood. Even the Mattel web site turned up nothing after extensive searching. I note this with some anger since Mister has started stringing together stray tracks (most from a physics educational play set that included red tracks) and propping them up on the couch to run his cars down the tracks! I had to make some connectors out of cardboard for Pete's sake! The classic Hotwheels setup! But try to buy the stuff? Nooooooo. Corporate jerks. (Posted August 23, 2003)
This is more of an annoyance at myself. A recognition of a horrible lack of self control in the face of logic. I was out of town during the blackout. By calling my home and reaching my answering machine, I knew that the power was out for no more than 20 hours. Thus, other than the juice bars, everything in the refrigerator made it. Even the milk. What makes this less than settling from a personal nature is that this was made possible by my absence--the refrigerator door remained closed the whole time. I know, absolutely know, that if I was home when the power went off, I would have opened the door. Oh, I would have resisted at first, but I would have opened the door, confirmed that the refrigerator was indeed off like I knew (would I have thought a separate power line went to my refrigerator?), and then slammed the door shut, cursing myself for opening the door for no good reason. Not my worst flaw, I'm sure, but quite annoying. (Posted August 22, 2003)
Some telemarketers are just plain liars. What am I to make of the calls from the satellite
TV dish companies who happen to be "in my neighborhood" on a weekly basis? The
caller gives me a special offer number that must be used before midnight. I bet if I rattled
off a random alpha-numeric string the operator would say, "thank you. This exclusive
code authorizes me to..." Or the credit counseling place that calls repeatedly, telling me
they have my information on file and that they can reduce my debt payments. That would
be quite the trick since my debt is restricted to my mortgage. Who's information they
have on file is beyond me. The winner for annoyance has got to be the company that says
that "you or a member of your family entered our contest" and amazingly enough, I've
won a trip to some wonderful resort. I don't even want to know what the fine print on this
scam is. But since I know I didn't enter into any contests, and I'm reasonably sure that my
6-year-old son didn't enter any contests, this lie is really an affront. That do-not-call list
can't kick in soon enough as far as I'm concerned. (Posted August 19, 2003)
Why on Earth do joggers run along the road when there is a perfectly good sidewalk about
ten feet away running not coincidentally in the very same direction they are running?
Even more annoying are bicyclists who have dedicated bike paths or even "just"
sidewalks who persist in riding on the road. And what really gets me is the bumper sticker
that the radical riders sport on their cars (with the bike rack on top so you know they are
serious) that read, "Same Road, Same Rules" to defend their right to take up a whole
freaking lane. Yet when the bicyclists reach an intersection with a red light they magically
become a pedestrian and cross against the light by riding in the crosswalk. And what of
their road hogging? Same rules? Right. Hit one of them and see who gets in trouble.
When a car hits a bike rider, no matter how stupid the rider, the mangled rider will get all
the sympathy and the driver who only scuffed their paint will be the one ticketed, I bet. I
need my own bumper sticker, "Same Road, Same Physics." Get on the bike paths. I'll
stay off the sidewalks. (Posted August 12, 2003)
Ok, this is beyond merely annoying and downright
disturbing. What am I to make of
this? "The Supreme Court is looking
beyond America's borders for guidance in handling
cases on issues like the death penalty and gay rights, Justice Ruth Bader
Ginsburg said Saturday." How on Earth does looking at French law on
the death penalty have any relevance whatsoever on whether capital
punishment is constitutional under the United States Constitution? Since
when have we deputized any of our United States Supreme Court justices to
pick and choose among foreign court decisions on the Internet to decide on
US law? (and doesn't that practice slight the
worthy opinions of courts not on the internet?) If our duly elected
Congress wishes to pass laws based on foreign examples, that is one thing.
But this trend is outrageous. It is plain wrong. Some justices may think they
are "elevating" US law to a higher plane of morality, but they
are imposing foreign law on Americans. Representative government be damned, I guess. (Posted August 4,
2003)
I am not a bumper sticker kind of guy. I don't advertise my political views as a routine
matter. Oh sure, I have some Army t-shirts and I put my flag out on holidays. But until 9-11, when I started wearing a flag pin on my coat lapel (so this is a seasonal display) and
put a flag on my car windshield, that was it. Even my car had remained unadorned. Until
this spring when war was imminent. Then I put a simple "ARMY" sticker on my bumper.
My first. I had one other statement-a credit card with an M-1 Abrams on it from Jane's
Information Group. I loved paying for stuff with that card in Ann Arbor. It was unique.
Sadly, mergers and acquisitions led to the transfer of my credit card company and to me
receiving my replacement card in the mail. It is plain dark blue. No tank. Not even an
APC. Damn. A minor but personal annoyance. (Posted July 26, 2003)
Aaron Brown is annoying on occasion, although he
does not inspire white hot rage in me or anything. He's named
"Aaron" for Pete's sake, cut him some slack. He's taking heat
for his haughty nature and for his passing on a
debunked rumor about the African uranium story. What got me was a
recent story of his on the Pentagon report on the ambush of PFC Lynch's convoy (yeah, I know, she was not in charge,
but she was the most famous in it). Brown ridiculed the Pentagon for
taking so long to tell us Lynch was not shot and stabbed. But the report
was not about Lynch—it was about the unit, what went wrong, the ambush,
and the conduct of the soldiers in fighting through the attacks. That does
take time, and Brown's attitude was unforgivable to me given his network's
admission that they did not report the truth in Iraq to keep Saddam from kicking them out. So how
long did it take for CNN to report the truth about that situation? His
sometime-substitute, Anderson Cooper, is better. He may be just as left
for all I can tell but he has a flippant attitude that makes him seem like
a decent guy. That's important. Cooper? Have a beer with him. Brown? Pour
it on him. Ted Rall? Throw it at him. Really
hard. (Posted July 10, 2003)
The food fascists are really bugging me. Kentucky Fried Chicken doesn't treat the
chickens nicely before they are slaughtered? We freaking k-i-l-l and e-a-t them! How
compassionate can you get prior to that? People want to sue McDonalds because
somehow they are confused about how many calories and how much fat are in their food?
Are they serious? These people clearly peaked in their careers when they were asking
people if they wanted fries with their order. But we can all be saved by a "Twinkie Tax"
on what is bad for us. I tell you what, I'll trade the fat tax for the aneurism tax for every
stupid comment by these idiots that threaten my mental health. God almighty, we are free
people who freely pick the path for our lives. Or we should be. So much for the right to
choose, I guess. These food people are nuts. I still remember years ago on CNN, some
female determined to save the cows earnestly cried out "meat is murder!" She paused for
a moment, wrestling with her small amount of sense that said 'No, don't say it! Not in
front of a camera! You'll look nuts!' But she broke and blurted, equally earnestly, "milk
is murder!" Sure, that sounds fine in the local PETA meetings, but to the public? I never
liked the tobacco precedent and this food assault is just sickening. Keep their damned
hands off my food. (Posted July 8, 2003)
Ok, time for a real annoyance to replace the
foulness of the previous post with a foulness of another type—but one not
repulsive, at least (hey, I'm a fair man). Ted Rall
is always there flapping his gums. He
likens the liberation of Iraq to Hitler's execution of Europe's Jews and equates the Americans who supported the invasion to
Hitler's "willing executioners." Says Rall,
"With the exception of a few principled men
like Sen. Robert Byrd (D-WV), leading Democrats have made little or no
effort to stymie Bush's agenda, launch a real investigation of 9/11 or appoint
a special prosecutor to go after the WMD scandal." I've gone all over
the WMD and 9-11 issues in National Security Affairs so I won't try to
condense that here, but what really got me was his reference to Byrd as a
"principled" man. You really have to be a fanatic to be willing
to highlight that odious man as your standard bearer for high principles
just because the Senator swats at the administration. I guess Byrd was not
so principled when he defended to the hilt the 1998 Iraq strikes to prevent Saddam from
getting WMD. Just when did he get the principle transfusion—after he named
everything in West Virginia after himself? PFC Lynch better be
careful what she signs is all I'm saying. (Posted June
24, 2003)
That anybody would defend such a sick
bastard as this is beyond comprehension. How can anyone say that
possessing any child pornography, let alone the vicious material this
animal viewed, does not warrant the harshest penalties is beyond me. Six
months is too much? Befitting a law professor, the scumbag somehow
believed that since he did not pay for his collection of 150,000 images,
he did not deserve punishment. I dare say, a lot
of people would beat the crap out of him for no payment whatsoever. More
than mere annoyance, this inspires nothing but outrage for that worthless
piece of living garbage and anybody who would defend him. (Posted June 24,
2003)
It's Fathers Day and you are thinking of
something different. You see the growing aisle with so-called "men's grooming
products." (Let's not sugar coat it here, they are "cosmetics")
This article
encourages kids to give their dads skin care products to
"pamper" them? Don't even think about it. Don't we already have
a Mothers Day if you want to give decorative soaps? I just about choked on
a spiced beef stick when I read this article. Let me just say that there
are only a few acceptable Fathers Day gifts. Ties are the best. If you
want to take a walk on the wild side, these are your alternatives: a
wallet, a subscription to TV Guide,
a pipe (despite the fact that I don't smoke), Old Spice aftershave (even
though I would never use it), a commemorative book about the D-Day
Invasion, or dried meat products. If determined to address my limited skin
care needs, soap-on-a-rope will be tolerated. Any son of mine who thinks
he needs to "pamper" my skin will be paying for that gift out of
his allowance for a long time. I intend to grow old gracefully. My hair
will turn gray and everything else about me will age as God intended it. Peach
seed facial scrub is not going to fight a last ditch stand against aging
if I have anything to say about it. Sheesh. Let
dads be dads. (Posted June 11, 2003)
So some are saying that American forces essentially
staged the rescue of PFC Lynch? Some say we could have strolled in,
filled out some minor paperwork, and checked her out. Sometimes I just
have to rub my temple to relieve the annoyance that builds up from reading
sheer stupidity. In the middle of a war, in a city not controlled by our
forces, our troops were told one of our POWs was held in a hospital.
Forgetting the difficulty of such rescue operations, these critics think
it is wrong our special operations people refused to fumble with keys and
instead shot open locked doors. In a situation where speed is necessary to
prevent a single determined captor from shooting our POW soldier, some
complain it was conducted with rudeness. No Iraqis in the hospital were
harmed, of course, perhaps undermining their cowboy complaints. It was
professionally and successfully executed with no loss of life and yet this
seems to be a minor controversy. The fact that virtually anybody else
trying to do the same would have leveled the surrounding buildings, killed
a quarter of the staff, and succeed only in removing the corpse of the
intended rescue target is apparently irrelevant. American armed forces
take more care to avoid civilian casualties than any other force in the
world yet our efforts are never enough for some. (Posted May 29, 2003)
Apparently, a few people are upset that the
President flew onto the Lincoln in a flight suit to congratulate the sailors and
Marines coming home. They are appalled that a president would don the garb
of a soldier, apparently starting down the slippery slope to a military
junta (at least that concedes we aren't there yet, notwithstanding
Ashcroft's best efforts). Senator Byrd was especially
incensed. But why are the anti-war types so upset? I thought a
president in olive drab was special to their hearts. I thought that
talking to one for hours would be their idea of heaven on earth. Perhaps
even the most important hours of their lives, should they get the chance. Oh, I'm sorry, they
only like their presidents in uniform if they are a Presidente. Darned if I can't think of one person spouting
off on this latest non-issue who thinks Castro is even a budding "potential"
dictator for wearing a military uniform. As for Byrd's outrage, I'm sure
he's just really upset that he doesn't have a carrier named after him.
After his illustrious career of naming every road, bike path, public
restroom, and government building in West Virginia after himself, perhaps he is pining for
something a little more prestigious. (Posted May 8, 2003)
The use of the word "monies" is highly
annoying. It just grates on my cerebral cortex when I hear it. I was
reminded of this by an NPR story the other day. It is always used by
somebody funded by the government or by government officials. Ordinary
people say they need "money" to buy something. Those in the
world of organizations funded by taxes say they have
"monies."Yes, I know
that "monies" is properly plural, but no real person will go
into a store and ask a clerk how much (many?) "monies"
that sweater costs. I don't even think one would go into a Lexus
dealership and discuss how much "monies" will let you drive off the lot with
one of their vehicles. Why, then, is the word used? It's not the sum
involved. Lotto winners don't get "monies." They don't even get "money,"
it's usually described as "cash" or "bucks." Yet even
some small grants to local nonprofits seem to get described in the plural.
Does talking about tax money do it? Is it somehow less like being on the
dole to call it "monies" as if it is some fancy accounting
device and not really a transfer of wealth? Yeah, it is probably
worthwhile, but do the people involved feel a twinge that maybe they
shouldn't be getting—or giving—this free money? Maybe the next time I go
into a fast food restaurant, I'll just ask how many "monies" (my grammar
check answered my question, it is "many monies") will that happy
meal cost. Maybe it will seem more Greenspany or
something. Maybe supersizing with
"monies" will seem downright Wall Streety.
(Posted May 8, 2003)
Idiots have credit and I am paying for it. I don't know how, since I never finance and
none of my credit cards have annual fees, but I have to be paying. What am I to make of
the credit card offers I receive that include little cardboard cards? I give them to my son to
play with. But look on the back and what do they say? "VOID This is not a valid card"
and "This is not a valid credit card." What fools receive these cards in the mail, see lots of
zeros where real card numbers and expiration dates would be, and think, "Cha-Ching!
I've got credit! It's mall time!" Seriously. And what does it say for the credit card
companies that they are sending these card offers to people they believe are likely to mistake a
cardboard marketing gimmick for a real card? What kind of credit scoring could lead to their mailing list? Or is this some clever stupidity test the
companies are administering? If you have the ergs of brain power to realize you do not
actually already have a credit card, you are trustworthy. Call up Lands End, order some
clothes, and insist your card number really is 5491 0000 0000 0000 with an expiry date of
00/00 and you go into a database of idiots who will never get credit. I'd feel better if I
could believe it was the latter explanation. (Posted May 4, 2003)
So, some of our fine citizens can't in good
conscience pay their taxes because some of the money goes to our
military? The article states, "It's a form
of civil disobedience some peace activists say is especially important
this filing season because of the war in Iraq."So, apparently they don't
like the fact that we liberated a prison for children who didn't want to
join Saddam's youth organization. They feel buying the bullets used to
kill the torturers and end their reign of terror is unjust. They are
saddened that their tax dollars ended a rapacious, murdering regime that
treated its people as so many pawns to be sacrificed for fun and
diplomatic gain. And that's just this war. They are horrified that their
taxes fund a military that saved destitute Bangladeshis after a monsoon;
that brought food to starving Somalis and Kurds; that prevented Kosovars from being slaughtered; that defends South
Koreans from the joys of Kim Il-Sung's [Oops--Kim Jong-Il--corrected 30 JUN 03] tender
mercies; that coped with Hurricane Andrew and the Los Angeles earthquake; and
that fights forest fires when firefighters are overwhelmed. They cannot
stand that our military took the challenge of Saddam Hussein who asked how
many Iraqis could we stand to kill? He hid his
war machine among them, sent fighters dressed as civilians to fight us. He
compelled civilians to fight at the pain of death for their families, staged
fake surrenders and used suicide bombers in civilian vehicles. And yet we
met that challenge, demonstrating by our aerial precision and careful conduct
on the ground that we care more for Iraqis than Saddam did, and destroyed
his regime with few civilian casualties. How many weeks will have to go by
before we can say, if we hadn't invaded, that even
more would have died from Saddam's own brutality? Not many. Yet these tax
protesters proclaim their consciences will not let them pay taxes that may
go to our military. These people are viewed as moral guardians?! I shudder
to think what their consciences will allow. (Posted April 16,
2003)
"War is not the answer" is what the
lawn signs say in my city. This is confusing because I thought the
question was "how can we end Saddam's threat to America and stop him from slaughtering his own
people?" Having already seen that asking nicely with 17 or so UN
Security Council resolutions (I've lost count), strict sanctions, leaky
sanctions, tough inspections, wimpy inspections, French oil contracts, Russian
debt collectors, occasional cruise missile strikes for no more than three
days, and lip-biting anger by an American president will not work, I
thought "war" was fairly obviously the answer. But then I
remembered: I live in a college town. Those who submitted their paper with
"war is not the answer" written down simply could not answer the
question as stated on the American security test. So, like any college
student, they rephrased the question into one they can answer. Forget the
nuke programs, the paper shredders for people, the ear lopping, the poison
gas, the rape squads, and all the other assorted thuggery associated with
Saddam's regime. They are simply facts that are only necessary to answer
the question as given. The lawn signers clearly have not answered that
question. I suspect the question in their heads is something like "if
Jane has seven papier-mache puppets and Otto has five bongos, who is more existentially repressed by the patriarchy?"
I guarantee it isn't the answer to "what method should Palestinians
use to get a state?" (Posted April 1, 2003)
I looked at the nutrition information box on my bag of 'cheese' popcorn. You didn't
know 'cheese' popcorn had a nutrition information box? You bet. Some regulation that
assumes somebody eating cheese popcorn wants to know the percentage of Niacin in the
bag requires this. You wonder why I looked? I have no good answer. Anyway, I noted in
particular that the bag of 'cheese' popcorn has 0% of my daily requirement for calcium.
Zero percent. So why was this specified? Is there not an infinite list of items that this
cheese popcorn has zero amounts? I'd be more comforted if the box said, "Rat Feces:
0%" or "Arsenic: 0%." Sure, I suppose this calcium note might settle the debate for some
who might argue that the 'cheese' popcorn actually contains 'cheese.' Zero calcium
clearly indicates that the bright orange dust sprinkled on the popcorn has nothing to do
with cheese. Thank you FDA for protecting me from the outrage of believing this was a
food item. Sheesh. Mildly annoying to be sure, but come on. (Posted March 19, 2003)
Sheesh, it's catching. The British accent for selling
cars. This time by Lexus of Ann Arbor. Is this a nation-wide thing? Again,
a female Brit extols the virtues of a car—this time a Toyota product. I can only assume that in the Detroit area, a Japanese accent would bring to mind
visions of Rising Sun aviators radioing back to
the task force the triumphant code phrase, "Tora!
Tora! Tora!" as
the bombs and torpedoes slammed into battleship row at PearlHarbor. Don't get me wrong, the British are certainly our allies and
friends, but what is it about their accent that sells cars? (Posted February 24, 2003)
The strain of being annoyed at these two contradictory complaints is taking its toll on me. On the one hand, we are told that Islam is a religion of peace and that we must not assume all Moslems are our enemies just because some fanatics are trying to kill us. That's fine. I can basically accept that, although the large numbers of Moslems that seem to take joy from 9-11 is disturbing to me. Nonetheless, I do not want to assume Islam is our enemy and turn all Moslems against us by attacking them. We can just kill the fanatics and try to make our peace with the rest. But then, I am also supposed to believe that an effort to destroy Saddam Hussein's horrible regime will incite Islamic hatred of America for another generation and essentially recruit more bin Ladens. Huh? So what is it? Are they mostly peaceful or a bunch of proto-nutballs easily provoked into slaughtering Americans in the name of defending Saddam's psycho regime? Explain this to me! Not to worry, the Moslem street will accept our destruction of Saddam's regime. Victory will have a good effect on a whole bunch of people. (Posted February 20, 2003)
France. Again. I'd go into a twelve-step program to end
my loathing of France, but none of the programs I've looked into
include nuking Paris as the twelfth step. (I retain hope that the
French outside of Paris are decent people who are tired of those city
dwellers giving them all a bad name) Pity. Anyway, the French say they may
stop our invasion of Iraq by using their Security Council veto. I have to
say, that made me laugh pretty hard. When was the last time that the
French were able to stop an invasion? Tours in 732? Use their veto to
surrender during an invasion, sure. Use their veto to collaborate with the
invaders, but of course. But stop an invasion? Man, they really need to go
easy on the runny cheeses and table wine. (Posted January 22,
2003)
God, could the French be more annoying? They are getting their panties all in a twist over
the coming Iraq war. Oh, I suppose they could get righteous over their own growing non-UN approved war in Ivory Coast; but no, they are upset that we will stop that madman
Saddam before he can do more harm to us, his neighbors, and his own people. "Partly out
of ignorance, partly out of anti-Americanism, partly out of fear of the consequences of a
war in France for relations between the various communities, the French are acting the way
they are," said Dominique Moisi, a political scientist with the French International
Relations Institute. Ignorant? Anti-American? Fearful? Aren't those qualities that define
being French since 1940? But hey, not to worry. The article notes the French were equally
anti-war in January 1991. After we won, they decided they supported it. They'd be more
annoying if they actually mattered. (Posted January 11, 2003)
The parade of American clergy, actors, and
legislators who demonize the American government for pursuing a military
option to overthrow Saddam Hussein torques me off. And I finally identified
the precise reason. It is not that they oppose US policy. Lord knows that I have in the past. This
is a free country regardless of what they say and they can (and have)
loudly proclaimed their opposition. But never did I ever take the leap from
opposing official policy to actively sympathizing with the rulers of the
target state. Never would I even consider actually siding with them and
claiming their innocence. I think it is related to the different attitudes
between those who support run of the mill dictators because they support
our policies (especially during the Cold War) and those who support
communist or anti-American dictators. The former have the decency to be a
bit ashamed of supporting the local thug even as they defend the political
necessity. The latter wax eloquently over the local thug, and will raise
their voices to out-shout the screams of the el presidente for life’s torture
victims. Is it really so difficult to oppose US policy without siding with the enemy? (Posted January 8,
2003)
Ok, this isn't really annoying as much as it is the ending of annoyance. But huzzah! My car's engine light finally went out! When it first went on I actually pulled off the freeway to check my manual. What the Hell is that light! Whew, check your engine some time--not the 'Get away from the car NOW' instruction. I dutifully bought some gas cleaner junk and bought a tank of high octane gas, but the light stayed on. Now, 65,000 miles later, the damn thing went off. I don't even care whether the light burned out or the engine condition that triggered the light ended. Sweet relief. (Posted January 3, 2003)
