..........B E V E R L Y' S
.........................crafts-----------
while i am doing my piece--herk herk!!!
sunset dust
a view from the 7th high
top ocean
soon to light up
from the library
river barangay
top wind
posterized
poems
the clown :beverly tan ^_^
last night i felt bad about why my life is like this
and that i wanna give up on things i shouldn't do
i staryted strawling and walk around thro and thro
then i saw a shadow that's familiar i knew
i pause to watch, i was curious, it's true
i saw him down alone, alone with no clue
i stared at him closer trying to see
what's he up to
then i found a tear drop from the man i knew
i wonder where that came from
i thought that wasn't true
for he seemed to happy that's my only clue
often i see him swinging being jolly with his cool toe
but now it's him so down low, it's not like the clown i know
i thought his life was perfect
with a happy glee on tune
i thought he always feels great
and that the show was true
but now i found the real score
the face behind the mask
the hidden agenda that he doesn't that much
i wonder if he saw and if would mind
that i am here standing looking that his sigh
i wanna great him "hello" and said "i just pass by"
just like those crashing sadness that hurts inside
but i am too shy admit that i even him before
and that i use to of being a clown galore
i sorry for myself for being so not right
for being closes minded seeing just one side
but then again i'm happy knowing what he felt inside
now i know is not all happy all the time.
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me myself and I
"faded"--- sometimes i feel like i am faded-- kasi minsan parang when i am with other people i feel so lost and invisible kasi-- parang ang galing galing ng ibang tao. when i look at them i see pretty people i see slim skinny pretty girls which is definitely not me. i could say that i am nothing but an chubby girl living a chaotic typical world. i am 18 now and in my 18 years here on earth i felt too much i cou;d say. kasi i could say that i have been throgh high and low of life i felt lots of things now.
i felt love, hurt and pain from so many people. i have meet many to people for my age.
i started young in meeting people at the age of 13 i started working as a junior disk jockey until i was 16. there i meet people i should have met that early. they speak a different language, they dance the devilish moves, they played and taught games that i shouldn't. i could say that my high school life was okay people would look at me as an icon kasi "dj". they would ask me lots a things and would even tease me sometimes.
but my elementary years wasn't okay--- to tell you i studied on an exclusive catholic school people there are different they would look at you based on what you have and who your with. in those times i was a nobody just a passbyer no one notice. though it was that way i survived and made it through here.
now i'm a happy -----> second year student taking up some art course. isn't it nice. i finally feel i fit in. now i don't have to learn some games or wear fancy clothes i don't like---finally some place i belong.:>
my
little tragedies---- didn't hurt that much!!
the most painfull thing that ever happend to me was when my dad died and i didn't had the stupid gut to show my face to my half siblings because of this stupid pride that i feel i felt like i would melt down into pieces if i'll show them my face. but now each time i think about it i would regret the day when i didn't bother to see my father for the last time ever:<
another thing that hurt me is when i remember the things that i easily gave away without care and thinking. i know you know what i mean. i never felt more hurt in my whole life.:<