'Visual
effects dazzle but story is riddled with clichés'
Based
on a comic book, TNT’s two-hour “Witchblade” is a raucous concoction, filled
with action, loud music and loads of visual effects. Paradoxically, it’s
also dull — a gigantically overblown cliché that tries to substitute
an ever-shaky camera and fast-paced editing in place of character and story.
All premise and no payoff, “Witchblade” was clearly conceived as a series
but is unlikely to make it past the TV movie stage.
After
chasing a bad guy into a museum, homicide cop Sara Pezzini (Yancy Butler)
finds herself in possession of a medieval bracelet that gives her special
powers. She can see things, dream things, hear things. And she can miraculously
deflect automatic gunfire when her accessory transforms into a knight’s
arm of steel.
Sara
begins to discover she’s not really an average, gorgeous, buff daughter
of a murdered cop after all. She was —gulp! — adopted. She’s actually a
warrior, the inheritor of the mysterious witchblade, which has an affinity
for female owners and is notoriously difficult to control.
Typically,
our emotionally vulnerable protagonist has a tough time dealing with her
newfound superpowers, especially when her partner Danny (William Yun Lee)
is killed by arch bad guy Gallo (Conrad Dunn).
SPOT
THE STEREOTYPES
Every
supporting character here has a destiny determined by ethnicity or dialect.
The sadistic Gallo is Italian, for example, and Asian Danny dies to make
way for Jake McCartey, a white surfer dude with a smooth chest and high
concept hair. There’s also a billionaire named Kenneth Irons (Anthony Cistaro),
who seems to want to help Sara at first but obviously can’t be trusted
since he has an English accent.
Irons’
henchman, Ian Nottingham (Eric Etebari) — British-like moniker but no accent
— might prove to be Sara’s ally. That would be a relief, since Butler plays
Sara with a constantly teary face, signaling a desperate need for an understanding
friend.
J.D.
Zeik’s script overflows with wisecracks that are neither wise nor funny
and is overburdened with exposition. Director Ralph Hemecker keeps it all
moving at a torrential pace that leaves the audience more confused than
curious. While the “Matrix”-like digital effects are impressive, they come
amid violent shootouts that overdose on adrenaline but are never compelling
