Based
on a comic book, TNT's two-hour "Witchblade" is a raucous concoction, filled
with action, loud music and loads of visual effects. Paradoxically, it's
also dull -- a gigantically overblown cliché that tries to substitute
an ever-shaky camera and fast-paced editing in place of character and story.
All premise and no payoff, "Witchblade" was clearly conceived as a series,
but is unlikely to make it past the telefilm stage.
After
chasing a bad guy into a museum, homicide cop Sara Pezzini (Yancy Butler)
finds herself in possession of a medieval bracelet that gives her special
powers. She can see things, dream things, hear things -- and she can also
miraculously deflect automatic gunfire when her accessory transforms into
a knight's arm of steel.
Soon
Sara begins to discover she's not really an average, gorgeous, buff daughter
of a murdered cop after all. She was -- gulp! -- adopted. She's actually
a warrior, the inheritor of the mysterious witchblade, which has an affinity
for female owners and is notoriously difficult to control.
Typically,
our emotionally vulnerable protagonist has a tough time dealing with her
newfound superpowers, especially when her partner Danny (William Yun Lee)
is killed by arch bad guy Gallo (Conrad Dunn).
Every
supporting character here has a destiny determined by ethnicity or dialect.
The sadistic Gallo is Italian, for example, and Asian Danny dies to make
way for Jake McCartey, a white surfer dude with a smooth chest and high-concept
hair. There's also a billionaire named Kenneth Irons (Anthony Cistaro),
who seems to want to help Sara at first but obviously can't be trusted
since he has an English accent. Irons' henchman, Ian Nottingham (Eric Etebari)
-- British-like moniker but no accent -- might prove to be Sara's ally.
That would be a relief, since Butler plays Sara with a constantly teary
face, signaling a desperate need for an understanding friend.
J.
D. Zeik's teleplay overflows with wisecracks that are neither wise nor
funny, and is overburdened with exposition. Director Ralph Hemecker keeps
it all moving at a torrential pace that leaves the audience more confused
than curious. While the "Matrix"-like digital effects are impressive, they
come amid violent shoot-outs that overdose on adrenaline but are never
compelling.
