Does
"Witchblade," the drama series premiering tonight at 9 on TNT, do what
it does reasonably well?
Yes.
In the category of popcorn TV, the show is stuffed with action sequences
and some decent special effects (some cheesy ones, too), and Yancy Butler
is an arresting presence as the series' tough-talking, cycle-riding, magic-sword-wielding
heroine, NYPD Detective Sara Pezzini, a hard-edged, husky-voiced beauty.
But
if you ask what exactly is "Witchblade" about, the answer is something
close to "Beats me."
Part
"Buffy," part "Xena," part "NYPD Blue," part "Matrix," part "Mission: Impossible
II" and a whole lot of "This is Spinal Tap," "Witchblade" is dense and
sense-defying.
The
episode actually plays with this concept: More than once in tonight's show,
an exasperated Sara exclaims, "What does that even mean?" Viewers will
be nodding in agreement.
As
in some Biblical passages, there are a few "begats" behind this saga:
In
the beginning, there was "Witchblade," the cult comic book. The comic begat
"Witchblade," the made-for-cable movie and backdoor pilot (if it does well,
it'll be turned into a series.)
It
did well, airing last summer and repeated about a thousand times since.
So now the movie has, indeed, begat "Witchblade" the series.
If
you're unfamiliar with the comic book and didn't see the movie, tonight's
series premiere will go down easier if viewed with a mental attitude best
described as "Just go with it."
Don't
worry, for example, about making sense of the bad rock music and a truly
garish sci-fi painting (forgive the redundancy) that seems to have been
reproduced directly from the original black velvet.
The
menacing supermen in black are a nice touch. The show opens with a battle
among three of them. But when one flips into a trance and starts chanting
about "annihilation" and "negation," I couldn't helping thinking of Groucho
Marx' commentary on a performance he watches in "A Night at the Opera":
"Booga, booga."
There's
a man named Danny (Will Yun Lee) who materializes from time to time and
talks to Sara, but no one else can see or hear him. (Hint: What's the hottest
fad in TV drama? Dead guys talking!)
And
Sara's homicide-cop partner, Jake (David Chokachi), sports a haircut that
makes him resemble a hunky hedgehog, a look I wasn't aware was actually
encouraged by the NYPD.
Finally,
there's an Aryan-looking power-dude named Kenneth Irons (Anthony Cistaro),
chief executive of the ominous-sounding Vorschlag Industries, and someone
who is, best I can tell, really, really ticked off that Sara can summon
up the magical powers of the Witchblade but he can't. As Robin Leach said,
"I don't know why!"
So
watch "Witchblade," but don't sweat the small stuff. Come to think of it,
don't sweat the big stuff, either.
Eric
Mink
