The
pilot script is a bad mamajama...
If
iFUSE keeps reading scripts like the one for the new "Witchblade," series
pilot, we might have more Guns 'n' Monkeys TV this fall season than we
originally thought.
It's
a comic book collector's dream come to live action. The two-hour TNT tale
reads more like what an episode of a "Matrix" TV series might be like.
For those who know our heroine's saga, which began in comic books five
years ago, the project lays out most of the details of the first eight
installments. But for those who need some introduction, the text reads
more like an episode of "Buffy: The Vampire Slayer" meets "Xena" meets
She Ra meets Joan of Arc.
Our
main character is Sara Pezzini, (Yancy Butler, "Drop Zone") a young NYPD
homicide cop still reeling from the death of her childhood friend, Maria.
As a whole, her life follows that of your typical beat cop: hum-drum. And
she also carries a lot of baggage. Her mother died. Her father, also a
cop, was capped twice in the head not long ago. All these scars haven't
scabbed over for our modern-day crime fighter. But since Maria's death
is still fresh in her head, Sara goes seeking vengeance for her.
In
comes Tommy Gallo, a thug who's suspected of popping her pal. A scuttle
occurs, a chase ensues and before we know it, Witchblade comes into our
lives.
Witchblade
is a glove, the gauntlet of Joan of Arc wore when she wielded the sword
of God. Over the years, the gauntlet has been in the hands of Egyptian
queens, Amazon women, medieval witches and female samurai lords. And it
has always camouflaged itself as whatever was fashionable at the time.
Now it is about to enter the 21st century. (Thank God it didn't find Michael
Jackson's hand.)
"It
is written that no man has ever successfully worn the Witchblade," says
character Kenneth Irons (Anthony Cistaro, "Angel"), a business mogul of
many fine collectibles and too much money. The all powerful guy wants to
control this Witchblade, and with the help of his man Ian Nottingham (as
is evil sheriff of) he's sure he'll claim it.
The
glove had been a part of a museum exhibit until Pezzini disturbs its slumber
during the chase scene. Shots are fired by a perp, Sara loses her gun and
the glove starts glowing and seems to come to her aid.
As
the stage directions so dramatically put it, "Somehow Sara's hand finds
the Witchblade, which wraps itself around Sara's wrist as if it were meant
to be there, as ... the JEWEL on the gauntlet starts to GLOW, as ... if
sensing the threat, the Witchblade causes Sara's arm to rise as ... the
perp fires again and again, and somehow the Witchblade intercepts the shots."
Just
like that, it's over, and the gauntlet reverts to a stylish bracelet around
her wrist.
But
the bracelet has an agenda. It lets her see things like Maria's death,
Joan of Arc's stake burning, and maybe even things that will be happening
in the future. Kind of like a traveling Profiler, only on her arm.
But
the catch is much like Drew Barrymore's was in "Firestarter." Sara can't
let anger get a hold of her too much, because if it does, the Witchblade
starts snaking up her arm and pushes out "a stiletto-like blade" that seems
to search for blood.
As
she comes to grip with her new powers, Sara loses her partner, Michael
Yee (Will Yun Lee, "Profiler") to the evil Gallo and gains a new rich-kid-playing-cop
partner, Jake (David Chokachi, "Baywatch") She also learns that she is
adopted and discovers that Nottingham has Kung-Fu like powers.
And
oh: Irons is a weird, power-hungry freak.
Irons:
The Witchblade is different for every woman who wears it, detective. You'll
have to find out for yourself what it can do. If you don't earn it, you
won't be able to keep it. Though no one has ever managed to hold it indefinitely,
it is written that the one who finally controls the Witchblade cannot die.
Sara:
Why would someone want to live forever? I'm just trying to get through
Thursday.
Irons:
It's time for you to choose.
Sara:
Choose what?
Irons:
The Witchblade, of course. After all, it's already chosen you. You were
meant to wield it! I can help you if you only let me.
(OK,
now it sounds like Darth Vader trying to bring Luke to the dark side, but
its better than anything Lucas could spit out.)
We
don't want to give it all away, but this sister looks bad. She does have
that whole Buffy complex though -- the angst of not being a regular woman.
All the woes that come with having to save the world and not having a real
life!
But
hey, someone's gotta save the world from itself, right? Might as well be
a woman. She can do everything else. Why not this?
