Myself: An Autobiography

Born to a vegetarian Brahmin family of far eastern hills (outback) of Nepal, I happened to grow up in an interesting time of social, cultural and political transitions of Nepal. As a five-year old boy, I was surprised by seeing mass demonstrations and political gatherings in favour of multiparty democracy, potentially a better system than the existing party-less polity. This elusive influence of ongoing political tension began to impact on my thinking soon after I encountered Marxist literature during the age of 12. In retrospect, it is surprising to see how these two competing worlds – Marxist and non-violent Hindu – shaped my earlier perspective about everything. Later, at the end of my intermediate education (equivalent to senior secondary school), I became more of a Marxist political activist and less Hindu. At that time I met and conversed with a Buddhist monk who was touring to eastern parts of Nepal. After I was deeply touched by the prevalent problem of the caste-based hierarchical system, I attempted to embrace a hybrid idealism of Buddhism, Hinduism and Marxism.  

Growing up (until the age of 16) in the village-setting offered me a first hand experience of being close to Nature (forest, caves, animals, rivers, mountains and so forth), was potentially a source of my poetic and imaginative thinking. Beside my ideological association, I was an amateur poet and storywriter, which was associated with my identity strongly until the final year of my intermediate education. During that time, I edited a wall magazine called Himali Sandesh (message from Himalayas), representing the emerging Leftist Idealism in early 90s. In the meantime I was also a local reporter of a regional weekly, run by a group of Left politicians. During this time, I read a number of books associated with Marxist literature, such as Mother, The Song of Youth, The Great Teacher, Chinese Stories, and Bright Red Star. These books helped me to be critical of the existing injustice created by the social, political, cultural and economic malaise. However, coming to know the dictatorial nature of Marxism-guided political systems and their atrocities to their citizens, I began to realise that Marxism can be as bad as a totalitarian aristocracy. 

 My involvement in politics (especially, the Student Union) came to a closure by the end of my undergraduate education. At that time, I regretted greatly for being in active politics as a result of apparent contradictions between preaching and practising of once-thought-to-be-political-ideologues. Similarly, my poetic thinking and acting (albeit dogmatic) also ceased gradually as a result of my involvement in attempts of transmitting (it was not teaching) mathematics from textbook to students’ mind. It is interesting to note here that my high school Sanskrit and Nepali language teacher once told me that it does not fit well with my nature to be a Marxist and a Mathematics Major. I did not like his comments, perhaps, because I thought his comment was politically biased.

After completing my first Master’s course from a local university, I joined a newly established university in Nepal, thinking that academic career was my destiny. My postgraduate studies (PGradDip and MSc) at Curtin helped revitalize the creative-imaginative aspect of me via auto/ethnographic, heart-opening and narrative methods of inquiry, all of which have contributed to an eternal passion for transforming the rocky terrain of teaching and learning. My newfound passion for education has further been strengthened by my father’s often-stressed ideals that a Brahman should ‘teach’ others about the mystery of the cosmos; encourage others to perform dharma; help poor, helpless and disabled people; act always righteously in difficult circumstances; and treat other creatures as our immediate neighbours. However, what my father interprets to be a Brahman seems to contradict with some critical historians who see the Brahmanic construction and interpretation of Vedic texts as the source of prevalent caste- and gender-based hierarchies in Nepal and India. I believe now that both of them are right inasmuch as they help create a just, egalitarian and caring society. Perhaps, I can draw from an 11^th century reformist Brahman, Sri Ramanuja, who regarded a lower caste (Dalit) as his Guru, and a 13^th century revolutionary Brahman Basaveshwara who advocated for a just, free and fair society by denouncing all non-Dharmic approach to religious traditions. Furthermore , Gandhi’s non-violence, Buddhism's middle way, Kabir’s notion of Guru and Aubindo's (and Wilber's) Integralism constitute my ever-developing view of the complex world. Given my  historically evolving political belief together with a number of spiritual-philosophical perspectives of the East, I find myself working for a just, egalitarian and democratic society (not guided by any form of tyrannical and totalitarian views) via a number of hybrid spaces created by Eastern wisdom traditions and Western Worldview(s).

My ongoing research aims at developing a transformative philosophy of mathematics education in Nepal. Perhaps, you are aware of the fact that Nepal hosts about 100+ language groups (not just dialects) and similar number of nationalities. I intend to develop a ‘small p’ philosophy that can be helpful for me in developing a culturally contextualised mathematics education. In a narrowly defined view of mathematics and science education, the term ‘philosophy’ sounds awkward for many science and mathematics education researchers because they seem to think that research is all about filling a crossword puzzle developed by Auguste Comte and his single-minded disciples.

Best wishes and Namaste

Bal Chandra

1/09/07