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News Archive July 2003 7.27.03 My Weekend...Abstractions Maybe this speaks to you...or part of it. Maybe it doesn't...either way...it's mine to share however I want to...enjoy... Have you ever had days...where things are a blurred together. What's now and what's then...what time is it? Is it already time? It feels like my weekend is missing a day, but no...the weekend isn't missing a day...the body is missing a day. Trick the body to think that there is one less day by making one day two...It's only been a day but you can't remember whether it happened a day or 2 ago...<breath>...<breath>...<breath>...<white>............. I don't understand...I hear you but it doesn't seem the same...it's as if you are speaking through a filter...I don't want the filter...but I'm being selfish...I understand the need...but it doesn't mean I have to like it I guess...I heard you without the filter for a moment it seems...I waited for that moment and it came =) It was nice...but it seems like he found the problem and took it away so that no more unfiltered words would flow through...then it was gone...I wonder if I caused more trouble than it was worth...but reallie in my heart I'd do it over and over again...look through the words and pierce me...when my blood flows and you understand I will smile =) *blink blink*...*blink blink* Another familiar argument...why can't I seem to learn from myself...a bad circumstance and a pet peeve mix together to form a dark haze that clouds...my mind isn't really mine anymore...I know you understand this and that...maybe all too well...all I wanted was a sorry and I got it...but too fast did my mind race...only when I passed it did I notice...with the lifting of the haze...the other me relinquishes its hold...I am free for a moment...too late though. I am again chained...wrought with the emotions and repercussions...my words are spoken and my will and nature push me towards the course of my words...maybe I'm too nice...doubtful...another lame excuse for myself, selfish thinking. That's just who I am...and I'm sorry...<sighs>...<tick tock>...<tick tock>... I wonder what happened...they prollie changed their minds...ah...left behind >< Hehe it's ok tho...you shoudn't worry about it because it's really ok =) It just makes this weekend...what it is...I wonder if I wasn't upset because I was already past that point...but I know you meant it when you realized what happened...I recognize the truth in that...thank you for that...it was genuine like you...this weekend wasn't all bad after all...*gasp*...*gasp*..... I feel like I've been underwater for a long time...I'm past the point of panic...sometimes it feels like I don't need to breathe anymore...like I'm slowly dying maybe? Or maybe I am already dead and this is what it feels like...bah. It's a dream...once a get a breath of fresh air I'll be fine...but how long has it been since I've been up there...come back soon...I miss the feeling of the sun on my face... 7.27.03 My Weekend the Nuts and Bolts So I've been getting a lot of "How's your weekend?" recently. I find myself answering it's ok =) But I dunno when I look back on this weekend I'm not sure it was all that great...Let's see...Friday...I got a phone call...didn't very much like the phone call...at nite I was over to Jason's place to chill. His last house party before he heads back to Sunny LA...nice party =) Good drinks and all...really chill party. He even hooked up the vodka watermelon's =) Very nice man, very nice. Haha somehow I ended up havin a bit too much so Vern gave me a ride back. We stopped by Denny's, but all I reallie did there was sleep =� Apparently went to bed at 5am. Got up at 11 and chilled some. Went over to have lunch with Vern, Jason, Gary, and Jason's lil bro at Great China. Lunch specials are always good =) Had fuzzy head all day...reallie didn't feel like movin much. Got my car from Jason's place in the afternoon and went back home. Garrett had his bbq thing but after much contemplation and not reallie feeling like moving didn't make it. Sorry man, I'm sure it was kewl. Was gonna have dinner and movie with Kai, Elaine, and some of her Loveboat friends...but they forgot to gimme a call when they got back from the city >_< Hehe don't worry about it Kai...Being still semi-bothered by something I just watched anime all day =) Saw all of One Piece...which is a very good series by the way =) Thanks to Jimmy for lettin me borrow it. Yea...I pretty much stayed up till about 6am...had a reallie short conversation...couldn't get to sleep till about 8am I think...passed out finally and got at 10...feeling like not being up I was taking naps till about 4pm =P OVerall...not a bad weekend...but I feel so unsatisfied lately... 7.19.03 Quick Recap Week was pretty much boring. I had dinner with Naree on Thursday. Went to Sushi House and saw 2 groups of ppl there. It never fails...always see someone. After dinner Naree was kind enuff to let me use their laundry machine since the place I'm subletting doesn't have them >< I was up till 5am chatting with Anna...finally went to sleep and then...for some odd reason I woke up at 7am and couldn't go back to sleep. Sigh...so I drove to work and went out to lunch with my boss and my boss's boss. That was kewl. She took us to P.F. Chang. I've never actually gone there. I think it's very akin to a Chinese Cheesecake Factory. Pretty nice interior and all, but defenitly made for Americans =) It was pretty good...Not as good as "real" Chinese food I think tho. It was extremely hard to work after that...I tried calling to get into these motorcycle safety lessons, but they're all full >< Sigh...hopefully a spot will open. The plan after work was LXG with Will and Vikram. We had pizza and beer at Kapp's first. But plans were changed and it changed to bar hopping. Well Nancy never called back. I did get to see Will's new pad. OMFG. So damn nice. Man I'd move there in a second haha. Yea...so i drove home after a bit. Got in and Elaine's friend was havin a bday thing so I dropped by. It was pretty kewl till...I'll call her Korean Banshee got drunk...unfortunately Korean Banshee started wailing and crying and kicking shit. She also broke 2 shotglasses. So Kai, myself, and Elaine were trying to get her to calm down for the rest of the night. Oh yes...she nicely puked completely onto me. That was fun. Luckily Elaine had clothes I could borrow. Thanks Elaine =) Even though the shorts were a bit too short hehe =P Yea I got home and went to bed at 5am again...and at 9am stupid newspaper lady calls and wakes me up...I couldn't fall asleep again...maybe that's why I have this headache... 7.15.03 Good Things! A crude retelling of these events...Patty's cooking when I was living with her those past few weeks of June...thx Patty =) Julie's Birthday up here =) UCLA graduations...congrats girls =) I do have a source of feeble income...I guess this goes here. Fourth of July weekend with family and friends...it was good to see everyone. I wish I had more time. DSL!!!!!! Finally =) 7.15.03 Bad Things! Well...ok. Bad things...bad things...ANOTHER FUCKING SPEEDING TICKET! The 1 hr commute each way w/o traffic to werk. The lack of broadband for a few weeks. A lot of friends have gone either back to so cal or to other places...Anna's in England w/o me >< Mike's in England w/o me >< I'm gettin flabby cause I spend 12 hrs either at werk or commuting. |