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<Opening theme and credits play. They slowly fade and Base Gastly materializies, sitting behind its desk. There are 2 chairs to the side, one of them occupied by a Noctowl>
Base Gastly: <In a very dramatic voice> Welcome viewers! I am your host... <Intimidating music plays> Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase Gastly! <The music stops> We have-
<The Noctowl interrupts>
Noctowl: -a great show for you tonight. Our special guest is Keanu Reeves, star of quality movies like Johnny Mnemonic and Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.
Base Gastly: Noctowl?
Noctowl: Yes Base Gastly?
Base Gastly: Show me again your name plaque that says "HOST".
Noctowl: Um...
Base Gastly: That's what I thought. SHUDDAP! As I was saying before, tonight we have-
<Base Gastly looks over at Noctowl who is staring at him>
Base Gastly: What are you doing?
<Noctowl continues to stare at Base Gastly, making his eyes bigger>
Base Gastly: Are you doing that Glaring Gaze thing?
<Noctowl stares at Base Gastly for a few more moments and then stops>
Noctowl: <Embarassed> ...maybe...
Base Gastly: Goto your dressing room.
<The Noctowl gets up, sulking, and walks off stage to its dressing room>
Base Gastly: I really hate it when he does that. <sighs> Lugia, get in here!
<A huge Lugia swoops down from the rafters and stands in front of Base Gastly, flexing its muscles>
Lugia: ELEMENTAL BLAST! <The Lugia makes a "WOOSH!" but nothing else happens>
Base Gastly: <Shakes his head> To date you've never, EVER pulled off that attack. Not sit down and SHUTUP!
Lugia: But...
Base Gastly: NOW!
<The Lugia reluctantly sits down in the chair next to Base Gastly>
Base Gastly: Now...our guest! Please welcome, Keanu Reeves!
<Base Gastly pulls a Pokéball from under the desk and throws it to the ground. A beam of light shoots from it and materializes into Keanu Reeves. He sits in the chair next to Lugia>
Keanu: Whoa.
Base Gastly: Welcome to the show, Keanu. Can I call you Keanu?
Keanu: <stands up and shouts> My name...is Neo! <sits back down assuming the same spaced out look he had before>
Base Gastly: ...right... So...um...Neo, right? Well first let's talk about some of your older movies. Now in Point Break where you co-starred with-
Keanu: I am not aware that I was in Point Break.
Base Ghastly: Oh? <Shuffles through his note cards> But it says here-
Keanu: I am not aware that I was in Point Break.
Base Gastly: Okay, okay. You weren't in Point Break. I wouldn't want to be associated with that movie, either. But in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure-
Keanu: I am not aware that I was in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.
Base Gastly: <His jaw drops, not able to believe what he's hearing> The sequel?
Keanu: I am not aware that I was in that movie.
Base Gastly: Johnny Mnemonic? The Devil's Advocate? Speed?!
Keanu: I am not aware that I appeared in any of those movies.
Base Gastly: <Shakes his head, knowing where this was heading> Now in The Matri-
Keanu: The Matrix was a learning experience for me. I did not know that I knew kung fu or even how to handle a gun but it brought out the action hero in me. Laurence, whom I called Larry, was very supportive of me. Between takes he would-
<Several hours later>
Keanu: In short, I enjoyed making The Matrix.
<Keanu looks over at the desk but Base Gastly has disappeared from view>
Keanu: Base Gastly?
<The camera cuts up to the rafters. Base Gastly can be seen staring down with a crazed look in his eyes. Suddenly, he jumps down and surrounds Keanu's head, shaking violently>
Base Gastly: WWWAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
Keanu: Dude? What are you doing?
Base Gastly: WWWAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Keanu: Are you having some kind of seizure?
Base Gastly: I am using Destiny Bond! WWWAAHHHHH!!!
Keanu: Uhhh... <He looks over at Lugia. They exchange nervous glances> I'm just going to stand up and start to walk away...
<Keanu gets up from his seat and tries walking away>
Base Gastly: Sit down! You will succumb to my un-not-succumbable powers! DESTINY BOND! WWWWAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
Keanu: Dude...like...whoa. If you don't stop, dude...
Base Gastly: WWWAAAAHHHHHH! <Is now shouting even louder>
Keanu: I'm gonna-
Base Gastly: <Base Gastly is now shouting at the top of his lungs> WWWWWWAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Keanu: Dude! Stop! <Keanu reaches back with his fist. In slow motion, his fist comes towards Base Gastly leaving a shadow trail behind it. The punch connects and normal time resumes. Base Gastly is sent sprawling across the floor.>
Keanu: <Starts to dust his hands off> There. I war-
<In the blink of an eye, Keanu falls to the ground. Lugia stands up and walks over, staring at his body>
Lugia: Keanu? <He kicks him in the side sharply> Keanu? <Lugia looks over at Base Gastly to see him rising off the ground>
Base Gastly: Oh my achin' head...<Looks to see Keanu dead on the ground> WOO HOO! I did it! Destiny Bond worked!
Lugia: Great. Just great, Base Gastly. The one time you actually do the attack right you kill off our guest. The lawyers are going to have a field day with this.
Base Gastly: Pshaw. He was a third rate actor, anyways. Noone'll miss him. Asides, it was in self defense. And if anyone disagrees... <Starts to shake again> I'll do them what I did to him! MWA HA HA HA HA!!
Lugia: Yeah, you're intimidating...
<Base Gastly turns to Lugia and takes a step towards him>
Base Gastly: BOO!
<Lugia freezes in fear, looking at something behind Base Gastly>
Base Gastly: Ha ha! <Takes on a mocking, girlish voice> Oh look at me. I am the great and mighty Lugia. Afwaid of a itty bitty wittle Gastly.
Lugia: <Points behind Base Gastly> Um...Base Gastly...
<Base Gastly continues to mock Lugia, until a loud "HOOT!" is heard>
Base Gastly: Did you just hoot?
Lugia: No...I...I've been trying to tell you...
<As Base Gastly turns around, a flock of Noctowls and Hoot-Hoots rush the stage, armed with bats and pitchforks. They swarm around the two, swinging unmercifully. Above the din, a "WOOSH!" noise can be heard. One Noctowl turns to the camera. For the next few minutes it stares directly into the lens, it's eyes growing bigger and bigger. Finally becoming discouraged, it hammers the camera with its bat. The picture turns to static then fades to black>
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