MoonBase 3.0
Frequently Asked Questions

OK, so not all of these questions have been asked frequently, but they've all been asked at least once, so I thought that it would be worthwhile to post answers to them. The questions in quotes are word-for-word copied-and-pasted questions from actual emails that I have received, with no changes made to misrepresent the questioner.

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Section 1: Personal Information

Who are you?

Read the section on my personal info by clicking here.

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"Do you, like, read a lot?"

Short answer, based on question phrasing: Yes. I do, like, read a lot.

What is "a lot?" I've read about 600 books (slightly over 500 different titles) in the last not-quite-seven years, in addition to numerous parts of books, magazine and newspaper articles, internet pages, etc. Is that "a lot?"

This answer modified on 4 December 2008.

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"So, you're an atheist?"

I have a strong preference for the word "heathen."

This question added 3 October 2002.

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Section 2: Email & Help with Papers

Will you write a paper, write a poem, write a short story, draw a picture, etc. for me, so that I can turn it in to my teacher?

Absolutely not. I don't mind if you ask me for advice or ideas for a paper or other assignment, and I'll try to respond to questions based on that topic as quickly as possible and to the best of my knowledge. But I'm not going to do an assignment for you, or even a major portion of an assignment. There are several reasons for this:

• I have ethical problems with plagiarism, which is what you would be doing.
• Intelligent people who work hard shouldn't have their work ripped off by procrastinators, the stupid, or the clueless.
• Those who ask me to do their work for them have, so far, failed to even bother to offer to pay me for doing so. Do you think I'm going to spend my time doing something for you under these circumstances? Honestly! I don't even know most of the people who visit my web page.
• It's not as if I have so much time on my hands that I have nothing better to do than do your classwork for you.
• I don't know what the specific requirements of your assignment are, so I would probably fail to fulfill at least some of them.
• If I wrote your paper, you wouldn't learn anything, would you?
• And so on. ...

I'm posting this particular question and answer after getting yet another request for free work for school. I realize that there may very well be people who download my essays and turn them in as their own work — and this is unfortunate; I don't want to sanction this pratice. However, there's really nothing that I can do about it except to post copyright notices at the bottom of everything that I write. If you download it and in any way claim that it is your own work, you are committing an act of plagiarism (which is almost certainly punished by your school, possibly with penalties as serious as expulsion) and probably of copyright violation (a serious civil matter in the United States). Do so at your own risk and without my permission.

This answer modified on 4 December 2008.

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Why didn't you respond to my mail?

There are several possible reasons:

• I've been really busy. After all, I'm a college student with a huge course load who is involved in several extracurricular activities and has a job. This site is a hobby, not a source of income or school credit, which are my main interests. Please be patient.
• You e-mailed me about a subject that I feel I've adequately addressed in something I've already written and is available on this site. In these cases, I try to respond, but can't always get around to it.
• The primary reason you're e-mailing me is that we differ in religious opinions, and (a) your message is so poorly written as to be unintelligible; or (b) your message doesn't merit a response for some other, similar reason. If you're just writing to me to blow off steam, there's not really any need for me to write back, is there?

This answer modified on 19 December 2005.

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"CAN I HAVE A NOT VERY LONG AND VERY EASY BIOGRAPHY ABOUT PERCY BYSSHE SHELLEY? (IT MUST BE VERY EASY BUT THERE MUST BE THE MOST IMPORTANT FACT OF SHELLEY'S LIFE) IF NOT, WHERE CAN I FIND IT?"

No, I can't. I have several points to make about this question.

1. Please make sure your caps lock is off when you e-mail me. TYPING IN ALL CAPITALS IS THE INTERNET EQUIVALENT OF YELLING. Why are you yelling at me when you're asking for a favor?
2. I don't just have biographies of poets lying around. If I did, I'd post them. If I knew where good biographies are, I'd link to them. Since I don't have them lying around, it would require me to do some research to respond to this question. Although I don't mind sharing my thoughts with people who e-mail me, I don't have time to do research for you — especially when you should be doing it for yourself. If the phrasing of your question is any indication, this question came up in the context of a class assignment. Honestly, now, why should I do your classwork for you? I have classwork of my own.
3. Where should you check to find a biography? Try an encyclopedia, or a compilation of Shelley's poetry or Romantic poetry in general. There are probably also resources on the web which are of fairly high quality — there is (comparatively speaking) a lot of fairly good scholarship on the web which covers the basics of Romantic poetry in English.
4. Who am I to dictate what the most important fact of Shelley's life is? If this came up in the context of a class assignment, the teacher is probably trying to get you to think critically about Shelley's life and make an informed argument. If I dictate my answer to you (or if you just rip the answer out of an encyclopedia), that would defeat the purpose.
5. You didn't provide me with a name or return e-mail address. Even if I had wanted to take the time to research this and respond to it, that makes it pretty difficult to get in touch with you.

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Section 3: Questions About Content

"Now you listen here, Sirr. I don't like your page, and I dont like what you have to say. I don't like that yu link to Marilyn Manson page, he's disgusts me. I want you to apologize."

Uh-oh, the thought police are here.

Why should I apologize? I don't ask you to justify your existence. If you don't want to look at what I have to say, then don't. No one's coercing you. If you don't like it, go put up your own webpage to counter the miasma of evil and sin that spreads from my little corner of the internet. If you want to look at web pages about happy bunnies frolicking in a politically correct, nonviolent, vegan, multiracial, non-offensive manner, go somewhere else, like here, or here, or here, or here, or here, or — well, you get the idea.

This answer updated on 19 December 2007. Links last checked on 24 May 2003.

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How long did God's battle with Lucifer last?

During the middle ages, the scholarly consensus seems to have been that it lasted three instants, whatever that means, exactly. (How can you have multiple instants?)

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Do you really have hidden naked pictures on your website? Where?

No. That would violate my GeoCities content agreement, and besides, it's not what this site is about. That comment was just something my brother wrote in my guestbook to be funny. Go buy a dictionary and look up "sarcasm."

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Wow! I really like that one graphic on that one page. Where did you get it?

Check the credits page. There is a link to this page at the top and at the bottom of almost every page on my site. If you can't find it there, email me and ask me.

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What can I/we do to help you out?

It blew my mind that anyone actually asked this question. It had simply never occurred to me that anyone might. Here are a few brief ideas:

• I always love getting e-mail from people who appreciate my site. Drop me a quick note about what you liked.
• Sign the guestbook. As of the time when I wrote this question, I'd had over forty-five thousand visitors, and only 67 had bothered to do that. I always appreciate visitors who do.
• Consider buying a book from the bookstore on this site. There are some books that I've selected, but every book that you buy, even if you only use one of my links to amazon.com or my search box, will give me a small percentage of your price. It doesn't cost you any more, either.
• Design some graphics to replace the ones that I've designed myself! I'll give you credit for whatever I find usable.

This answer updated on 19 December 2007.

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What software did you use to design this site?

All pages on this site were hand-coded using standard text editors (admittedly, some of the essays were exported from programs like Word ... although this produces really crappy HTML that has to be tediously and extensively edited by hand to make it compliant with w3c guidelines and parsable by browsers other than Internet Explorer). Parts of the site site were originally designed using Windows and classic MacOS software, but recent changes have all been made under what has become my favorite OS over the last year, Ubuntu Linux, a fully functional (and free!) GNU/Linux distro that runs much faster than Windoze, never crashes, and is more user-friendly and useful. Most commonly, I edit the HTML code using the Bluefish text editor. Validation is performed using the w3c's validation service.

Graphics that I designed myself were primarily designed using the GIMP, a wonderful (and free!) fully functional graphics program that is comparable in terms of features and usability to Photoshop; Scribus, a lovely (and free!) page-layout program; and Dia, a powerful (and free!) diagram editor. I am highly enthusiastic about all of these programs, and use them constantly.

This answer most recently updated on 1 May 2009.

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Hey! Not all of your papers are fully compliant with the MLA standard! You have a degree in English, and you should know this stuff inside-out! What gives?

Three comments on this topic:

• Many professors don't enforce full compliance with the MLA standard. In fact, I never learned all the ins and outs of MLA 4 until after I received my degree from UC Berkeley. Some of the papers have since been revised for one reason or another, and in some cases this involves updating them to be fully MLA-compliant (especially when the revision involves making the paper into a writing sample for a grad-school application), but I haven't made a particular effort to make all papers fully compliant. In part, this is because I have other things on my plate, and in part, it's because ...
• This site is not a paper mill! I'm not interested in giving you fully MLA-compliant papers that you can rip off. All of the papers, I believe, contain (a) enough information in citations to avoid accusations of plagiarism, and (b) sufficiently clear writing and formatting that my meaning is clear.
• Not all of the writing on this site is academic in nature. It's really fairly superfluous to make this complaint in reference to The Heirophant's Proselytizer Questionnaire, although people have done so.

This question/answer pair added on 9 February 2009.

Hey! You claim that your (X)HTML validates, but when I click on the link to the w3 consortium validator, I get errors! What gives?

The X/HTML that I write validates, but Geocities adds scripts that use noncompliant code. Goddam them ...

This question/answer pair added on 15 February 2009.

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Section 4: The Name Change

I saw your site referred to somewhere as "The Alcove of Rationality," or else I clicked a link with that title and ended up here.

Yes. The Philosopher's Box used to be named "The Alcove of Rationality." It is now called "The Philosopher's Box," and will remain called "The Philosopher's Box" for a good while, or at least until I can think of an even better name. The change occurred on July 12, 1998, a fact that I mention solely in case you care.

This answer was last updated on June 19, 2002.

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The Philosopher's Box? What happened to The Alcove of Rationality?

Sigh ... Yes, I did get this question after I posted the previous one.

It became The Philosopher's Box on July 12, 1998. Please update your links and bookmarks. The URL remains the same.

This answer was last updated on June 19, 2002.

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So what's this MoonBase 3.0 thing?

It's another re-conceptualization. Less is more ... no more filler, lots of good stuff to read. I think MoonBase represents me better than the Philosopher's Box did. If you miss some of the old content, send me an e-mail ... I'll try to get it back up.

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Section 5: Linking to This Site

May I link to this site?

Yes! No one can prevent you from linking to me!

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Which page should I link to?

I would prefer that you link to http://come.to/patrick-brian. This is a redirection URL, so if I ever move the site, your link will not break (provided that the company providing service doesn't go under, of course). Neat, huh?

However, if you prefer to link directly to the front page, you should link to http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Olympus/5599/index.html. This is not a redirection address, so if I move the site, your link will no longer work.

Finally, feel free to link to any page in the site that you wish to link to, except: I would prefer that you not link to a direct e-mail form, the guestbook signature form, the "Personal Information" page, or any pages which contain photographs of me. Other than that, please feel free to link to any of the essays or other pages here.

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Section 6: The FAQ itself

When was this FAQ file last updated?

The last major update to the format of this FAQ was made on Wednesday, December 19, 2007, when it was trimmed and updated during the conversion of the Philosopher's Box to MoonBase 3.0. Broken links were last fixed on Saturday, 24 May 2003. The counter was replaced on Saturday, May 24, 2003. Minor updates are made periodically without changing the answer to this question. The FAQ was updated from version 5.3 to version 5.31 on Friday, 1 May 2009 (when several minor typos were fixed).

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