• What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
  He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.
   
• Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
  Because below 18 was not allowed.
   
• Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefoot!"
   
• How did the Sardar try to kill the bird? He threw it off a cliff.
   
• A Sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him "Kyon Sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai"
  Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "
   
• Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate
  "Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese."
  "How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?"
  " Aah, read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."
   
• Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent to the outer space. The ground control issues commands "Rubi!" "Woof!" (it's the barking sound)
  "Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!" "Moti!"
  "Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!" "Sardarji!" "Woof."
  Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"
   
• Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, " I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
  " Oh Dear! " the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ..what happened to your other ear?"
  "The scoundrel called back."
   
• Santa Singh is called for an interview in some firm. He lands there on time. He is immediately hauled inside in front of the interviewing officer. Officer looks at Santa Singh then goes through his certificates and then starts asking him questions.
  Following is the transcript :
  O : Mr. Santa Singh, after seeing your qualifications & credentials I would like to ask you only some simple questions.If you can answer those then you are selected. First we will start with some opposites
  S : Yes Sir.
  Officer started asking questions
  O : Above
  S : Below
  O : Front
  S : Back
  O : Left
  S : Right
  O : Male
  S : Female
  O : Ugly (means Next in Punjabi)
  S : Pichhly (means Previous in Punjabi)
  O : Ugly...U-G-L-Y( Officer spells it)
  S : Pichhly...P-I-C-H-H-L-Y( Our Sardar also spells it)
  O : U.....G.....L ...... Y.....(Officer shouts)
  S : P ..... I ..... C ..... H ....... H ...... L ..... Y...... Our Sardar also shouts) Officer is now angry.
  O : Get out
  S : Come in.
  O : Quiet please.
  S : Talk please.
  O : You are rejected.
  S : I am selected
  ....... ....... and This is how Santa Singh got his job.
   
• A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead.
  The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar raheho?"
  To this the man replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai, "Wash Basin".
   
• Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the seat of his pants, but it wouldn't light. He tried another. It wouldn't light. The third one finally lit. lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket.
  "What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?"
  "That's a good match. I'll use it again."
   
• A Sardar sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why're the guys doing what they're doing. The bystander: A Marathon race is going on
  Sardar: What do they get from that?
  Bystander : The winner will get a prize
  Sardar : Then why are the others running?!
   
• One Sardar came to Madras and wanted to do shopping in Burma bazaar. His Tamilian friend told the Sardar that the prices will be costly and hence asked him to bargain for half the price. Sardar went and asked the price of stereo for which the vendor told 2000 Rs. Sardar asked for Rs.1000. vendor told he can give for Rs.1800 for which Sardar told no, no only Rs.900. Vendor told ok, I will give it for 1500 Rs. for which Sardar bargained for Rs.750. It was going on like this when finally vendor out of irritation said he will give the Sardar the stereo free of cost."Our Sardar asked whether he will give two."
   
• Then there's the one about the Sardarji who brought his binoculars to a funeral where they were going to bury a DISTANT relative of his...
   
• Sardar Banta Singh went to the emergency room with the tip of his index finger blown off.
  "How did this happen?" the doctor asked.
  "Well I was trying to commit suicide," Banta Singh replied.
  The doctor asked, "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?"
  "No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I thought my face would look horrible, then I put it in my mouth and I thought I just paid Rs. 1,000 to get my teeth straightened. So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought this is going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger."
   
• Banta Singh was painting his living room one hot day.
  "Why", his friend Santa Singh asked him, "are you wearing two jackets?".
  "Because," said Banta Singh, "The directions on the can says 'put on two coats'."
   
• Sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile. Then the foreman asked the Sardar why he kept painting less each day,
  he replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can"
   
• Sardar,a Japanese, and a British were lost in the desert. They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down, because they had nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey. The Japanese took the radiator, the British took the seat, and the Sardar took the door.
  After a while of walking the British asked the Japanese "I'm confused, why did you bring the radiator?"
  The Japanese responded, "If I get thirsty, can drink the fluid."
  Next the Sardar asked the British "Why did you bring the seat?"
  So the British said "If I get tired,I am not going to sit on the sand. I can sit on this comfortable seat."
  Finally the Japanese asked the Sardar why he had chosen the door.
  The Sardar quickly responded to this question, "Well, when it gets hot all I have to do is roll down the window."
   
• Why couldn't the Sardar write the number "eleven"?
  He didn't know which "one" came first...