Parenthood
Motherhood arrived in 1997, some
six years after I first walked out of the Consultant's room.
It was exciting and scary and extremely worrying. I worried about what I would
do on the days I could hardly walk and couldn't wait for the fun we would have
on the days I could.
For me, the first 9 months after Rhianna came along were relatively easy. Most
of the time she was either lying down or propped up with pillows.
When she started to crawl, the front room was cleared of everything apart from
the TV and chairs and a sleeping bag spread on the floor. On bad days, I would
close the door and lie on the settee watching her explore the room.
Before she was 18 months, I started encouraging her to put her toys in the
toy-box before dinner. By the time she started going to nursery at aged 2 for a
couple of
afternoons a week, she was doing it without being asked.
As she got older, we would snuggle up together on the settee in front of the TV when I was in
pain and watch cartoons or toddler programmes. I would gently remind her that I
was in pain and needed to rest.
By the time she was 3, we had graduated to my lying on the bed upstairs while
she played on the floor in front of the TV with her books, crayons and toys.
Sometimes she would 'have an attack of Endo' herself, which was quickly cured
with the help of 'painkilling' Smarties.
At 3, she also learned to keep her own room tidy and also 'helped' with the
laundry, cleaning and cooking.
She had discovered the computer at 18 months or so and by now had better mouse
control than her Dad could ever hope for.
At 4, she started school and also got a shelf in the fridge for her breakfast.
On good days, we had breakfast together and on bad days, she knew how to get it
herself. By this time, she was also adept at dressing herself and had developed
a very independent streak which made me sad and proud at the same time.
Rhianna is now 5 and is a very capable young lady. We spend lots of time doing
things together on good days and on bad days we still spend time together. She
understands that she cannot lie in bed with me because I am in too much pain, so
I now keep a sleeping bag and spare pillow under the bed which she drags out and
uses. If I fall asleep, and she is hungry, she will not wake me up, but will nip off downstairs,
prepare her lunch from the 'lunch cupboard', eat it in the kitchen and come back
up and switch the TV and video on AND keep the volume down. She will even tell
her Dad off for making too much noise when he comes in.
She 'helps' me up the stairs when I am in pain and tucks me in. She knows that
certain areas and things are out of bounds when I am unwell and lying down and
has never broken the rule - In fact, I seem to get into more trouble than she
does at times. I have always been honest with her and she knows as much about
'Endo' as I think she is capable of understanding and has seen pictures of it.
Rhianna is a joy to both of us and the rest of her family.
It has been a long and difficult road for all concerned, but teaching her to
become independent far beyond her years has been a necessity. She is an Endo
child and as such common sense has dictated that she learn to adapt. She is
after all no different from a hearing child born to deaf parents or a 'normal'
child born to Downs Syndrome parents.
She is doing very well at school and is well-liked by both her peers and
teachers. Her social life puts mine to shame. A fortnight ago she had her first
sleepover, and although it was only next-door, while she was having a great
time, Dad and I worried all night and were somewhat disappointed she didn't call
or come home halfway through the night.