Who Let The Chick Out Of The Mindpad?

One afternoon late in the evening when it was time for bed, Micky decided he was tired of that boy BT's stupid advances and that he wanted a REAL girlfriend. But no girl would touch him since that stupid boy BT thing was always hovering around to turn them into crabcakes or borscht.
So Micky approached Peter and asked him politely.
"Please to be giving me a girlfriend." he said.
"Huh? You don't talk like that, Micky!" said Peter in disgust.
"Oh, gimme a girlfriend." said Micky pointedly.
"That's better." said Peter and strolled off.
"But.. but what about my girlfriend!?" shouted Micky but Peter was long gone into Micky's mind pad.
"Ouw heavy." said Micky and strolled off to find Al.
"Hey Al, please to be giving me a girlfriend." said Micky. "WHAT did Peter just tell you about that you freak!?" shouted Al and ran off huffily.
Micky grimaced and looked around. He could not ask BT boy thing for she was evil. So he pouted.
"OH OH OH HE IS *SO* CUTE!" shouted BT and tried to kiss him but he held up his fryingpan in just the right way so she flew out the window.

"Please to be using your crystal!" said MT stupidly.
"Huh!? Oh yeh I forgot." said Micky and zapped MT lightly on the tush.
"EHEHEHE!" shrieked MT and ran around wildly.
"Ugh it's worse than caffeine!" said Micky, but then got an idea. "Oh MT thingy that looks like meee...." he said.
"Uh oh, Micky is coke-tetishly!" said MT and looked around for help, but no one was around so he shrugged and stared.
"Please to be giving me a girlfriend huh buddy?" asked Micky in a fun loving manner.
"Giiiiirrrrllllfrend?" asked MT.
"Yeh, you know, a nice pretty chick!" said Micky.
"OH!' said MT and poofed up a chicken.
"Uh.. no." said Micky. "A girl. A GIRL you know like a woman, a lady!"
"Oh okay, I love you, buh-bye!" said MT and giggled.
"OMIGOSH WHERE DID HE LEARN THAT!?" shrieked Link who was horror.
"Uh, go away sword boy!" said Micky and shoved Link out the window after BT. A faint "Ooof" and a giggle and a slap was heard shortly after.
"So, please MT?" asked Micky.
"Okay Mickyboyfrothingmethingthing!" said MT and poofed up a darling little seventeen year old.
"Uh, MT, do you think you could make her a LITTLE older?" asked Micky.
"OLDER?" shrieked MT and giggled and ran out.
"HIIII!' said the girl and blinked at Micky.
"Uh.. hi.." said Micky and felt sheepish.
"OH OH MICKY IS SHEEPISH!" shouted BT. She ran in and stared. "MICKY WHO IS *THAT*!?"
"Oh! Micky is my boyfriend! Sorry, I already have one." said the 17 year old chick and scoffed at BT.
"BUT I AM *NOT* A BOY!" BT shouted and ran around angrily.
"Ugh I need to think...." said Micky and wandered off to the bathtub to think.
"Man, that boy ain't right." said Mike and Davy, coming in with a cartload of chicken fry party leftovers.

Sassip bounced in from her fish fry and deposited a hedgefish onto Mike's bonce.
"WHY does she always DO that?" asked Davy in horror.
"OH DAVY DAVY CUTE THING!" shouted Sassip, but Davy could not run away.
"And why not you ask? Because everyone is still all weird from the last story yes yes indeed you see, I am still a figment and BT still has antennae and Micky still has antlers and Mike still has wings and Davy is still a seathing." said Peter helpfully.
"YOU were not asked!" shouted Sassip and stuffed him in her pouch.
"OH! MR. CONTINUITY!" shouted Al, running in. "If you're a figment, then how can you wear your crystal? Figments can't wear them huh huh huh??"
Everyone stared at Sassip's pouch in anticipation.
"Ugh." said Peter poofing out. "I do not know."
"Well for the love of hedgefish! Take it off!" said Sassip and reared up, making "ick ick" noises at him.
"mmmph" said Mike and shoved the hedgefish off of his face.
"But why?" asked Peter. "It's not doing anything to me!"
And it was true. Peter was fine, he even put on his shield and zapped Micky's frypan.

"HUH!" said Al huffily and made a face.
"When did YOU get back!?" asked BT, sniffing at Micky incredulously.
The chick was sitting on the couch and seemed like a statue til Micky appeared.
"OH OH OH!" she fawned.
BT was tetchy and poofed her into Sassip's pouch.
"You don't have nice birthing hips anyway. If you were to have Micky's kids its antlers would get stuck." said BT pointedly and strolled off.
Everyone stared in horror and Sassip had a horror-punting field day.
During the meanwhilst, Micky had spied Al poofing MT's 5 O'clock shadow off, for we all know young 21 year old 5 year olds are DANGEROUS thingggzzzz with sharp razory things.
"OH ho.." said Micky evilly.
"Oooh evil boy.." said Peter, chalking this newly acquired info onto his continuity chalkboard.
"Huh?" said Micky, but shrugged and went back to his evil work.

He sidled up to Al in a stupidly apparent manner and grabbed her in a large sack. After much heaving and ho-ing he managed to drag her into the bedroom where horrid travesties occured. You see, Al had broken a nail, it was her favorite, when Micky had dumped her into the sack and he hit her on the head no less then three times trying to drag her into the bedroom (he chose the one upstairs so really she hit her head on every step) and then he deposited her on the bed and she turned him into an antlered lark and laughed evilly.
But I digress.

Anyway, he managed to get control of her mind enough to turn himself back. And then, after adjusting his antlers, he managed to lead her outside and down the steps with little or no incident.
"Hey what were you guys doing in there?" asked Davy. He looked hurt.
"Uhhh.." said Al and grinned stupidly.
"Errr.." said Davy and looked scared.
"Uh uh uh we didn't do anything in there she was just showing me the curtains alala" said Micky hurriedly.
"But they are the same curtains that are always in there!" said Davy. "Uhhhh!' said Al and drooled on Davy's shoe.
"Ewwww.. what is she, Sassip?" asked Davy and went to take a clothes shower.
"But it was your *SHOE*!" shouted Micky. But he forgot and was glad that Davy had left.
"HOW COME HE MADE A GIRRRLLL?!!" whinged BT and lamented all over Peter.
"PLEASE get off," said Peter in an irritated tone as she was drooling on his chalkboard.
"I am NOT drooling!!!!" said Mike in a stately manner.
"That was my line," BT said and was crestfallen.
"That was mine," said Mike and was crestfallen.
"I am NOT drooling!!!!" said BT.
"Much better," said Peter and approved.
"HEY you're in charge of continuity, this chick-poofing thing is HIGHLY unorthodox and you should fix it," yelled BT.
"No," said Peter sweetly.
"Piiiiiita is coke-tetishly," MT cooed.
"UGH YOU SUCK BIG WATERMELONG BEANS!!!" shouted BT as that was the worst insult she knew, and she picked up Pita (PETER!!!) and threw him up against the ceiling where he stayed.

"Now then," said Peter.

"Oh... I see," said Peter and got down.
"Why? I like it here," said Peter.
Then she had Mike banned from chicken fries on the grounds that he bought his season tickets from a scalper and he was annoyed and left.
"FINE, I'll just roll off to a chicken fry party. I can pick up chicks there," Mike said contentedly and got down to roll.
"No you didn't," said Davy in confusion.
"But but but she's MYYYY chick I bribed MT with pops to get her!!" Micky whinged.
"I was just gonna uhhh turn her on to the chicken fry scene baby WHOO YEH!!!" Mike said and was overexcited.
"TSKY TSKY, robbing the cradle!!!!" Al said in disapproving shock, for she did not condone or authorize such... THINGS.
The chick was scared and sought refuge in the pouch of Sassip.
"HEY how bout I show you around town huh huh?" Mike said and ssssssssslinked over to sit next to the chick.

"MUCH better," said Davy and ate poundcake.
"UGH that was so confusing man!!" said Link.
"Oh oh oh he picks up on our lingo so nicely," said BT and was starry-eyed until the chick popped her head out of the pouch and twinkled at Link.
"OH YEH YEH GO FOR LINKY HE IS CUTE AND HAS A JAUNTY-ANGLED HAT!!" BT said loudly and jumped around a lot until Peter put a restraining device on her.
"Heeheeheeheeheeheeheee!" said MT and was cute. "GIGGLEPOT!!!!"
Micky was eyeing the chick evilly and was carting Al around by the collar.
"WHAT are you doing?" asked Davy and BT.
"Oh uh..." said Micky.
"Hehe." said Al and drooled.
"UGH I JUST *TOOK* A SHOWER" shouted Davy and lobbed poundcake at her. "Oooh food..." said Al and ate it off the floor.
"Ewww what's up with her?" said BT and kicked at the poundcake, watching in glee as Al followed it stupidly.
"Nooo you don't!" said Micky, grabbing her again. "Anyway uh, we're just passing through, please to be parting and letting us."
"WHAT did Peter tell you about that!?" shouted Davy in anger that his little honey muffin Al was galavanting around with the likes of frypan tush.
"Hey you haven't liked her for *STORIES*!" shouted BT in remorse that Davy cute thing was so stupid.
"Yeh well when I see her with Micky it just makes me.. wanna lob poundcake!" shouted Davy and lobbed some.
"Oh well at least it's not chicken fry." said Mike and munched away on his own food.

Anyway, Micky had escaped unnoticed and while they were making dumb conversation and lobbing food about, he got Al over by the chick and grabbed her too, then ran off into a secluded part of the kitchen.
"Whatcha doin'?" asked the chick, popping her gum in an annoying fashion.
"Ugh, I'm trying to make you older!" said Micky and squinched up his face.
"OOooooO" said Al and fell over, but not before making the chick an actual chick. Hen. Whatever.
"OH!" said Mike and used Al as a doormat so as to wipe his dirty shoes on.
Micky totally forgot about Al AND the chick and huffed off angrily.
"Soooooooo.. you ever been to a.. a.. chicken fry party?" asked Mike, salivating wildly.
"Mike doesn't do that sort of stuff! He's a nice boy!" shouted BT and tugged at his wings.
"Oh oh oh I wenty to the kitchen," MT said with devious childlike glee, and did just that.
"I WENTY HERE!!!" he said cheerfully.
"UGH MT why did you make the chick girl THING?" said BT.
MT blinked a lot. "CHEE-YIIIIIIICK???!!!!"
"Yeah, the bird," said Mike.
"WHERE?! WHERE?!" said Davy and was ravenous.
"No no no Davy!!" said Sassip and punted him far.
"How far?" Peter wanted to know.
"A goodly length," said Sassip and bounced a lot.

"Oh fuzzy yellow playtoy for meeeeee," MT said cutely and picked up the chick.
"MY PET!!!!" MT said with glee and poked at it.
"You did not ask your MOMMY," BT said haughtily and departed from the general area.
"Mike has wingy things he can wenty in to the skyyyyyy," MT said.
"Ooooo," said Al. "I am dirty," she stated and got up and went off to take a clothes shower and rid the bathroom of Oreos.
"AHEM. It is 5:30 4:30 central. POUCH TIME!!!" Sassip said and put everyone in her pouch. Mass horroring ensued and Sassip promptly expelled all the contents of her pouch except for the cats.
"I didn't like that," said the chick.
"NO NO YOU SHOULD BE FUZZY AND YELLOW!" shouted BT and made her so.
"Gee uh... time for uh some ... NEWS COVERAGE," Mike said and rolled off before Al could stop him.
"OOH OOH OOH OOH!!!" Davy said excitedly and tripped over Micky trying to get to the TV.
"I was not trying to get to the TV," said Micky.
"No no DAVY was... ugh I'll explain later," said Peter.
"LOOK! There he is!" said Davy and pointed at the TV screen. Sure enough, Mike, the man with the woolhat of everyone's eye, was wingin' it all round the city and getting coverage 'cause of his spiffin' wings. THEY WERE KNITTED!!!
"They weren't," said Peter.
Oh, well anyway.

"LOOOK, PUNS!" Al said loudly.
"That was loud," said Link.
"Hey, where is the hat with the thing on it??" BT said suddenly.
"MT MT make her a girl again!" Micky whinged.
"I want pops," said MT because BT had taught him the art of bribery.
"OMIGOSH WHERE DID HE LEARN THAT???!!!!!" Al said in outrage.
"MEEEE," said BT happily.
"How dare you taint my baby child's precious miiiiind!!!" Al said mournfully and beat the thingy out of BT.
"Oh! Oh! Such violence!" said Sassip.
"Oh yeh YOU should talk with all your punting and pouch time," Al retorted.
"OHHHHHHHHH YOU MUST NEVER GIVE ME LIP!!!" Sassip screeched and punted Al into Pink Thing land where she had a spiffin' bad time.
Peter sighed and chalked that transgression onto his board as well.
"So much to keep track of.. so little board space.." he sighed and went to get some red chalk.
"So I says to that guy that he better stop giving me foot long hotdogs cause I can't eat that much, and he says he dun give them out any shorter!" said Davy.
"Hey, well I can always eat them all." said Peter.
"Me too!" said Micky.
"Don't drool." said Al to Micky and Peter.
"Oh you're one to talk!" said Davy.
Al didn't remember any of this business with the drooling so she scowled at him and stalked off.

"Hey, where did this chick come from? Is Mike trying to raise his own chicken fry party from scratch again? Yeesh!" said Al and poofed Micky's chick away.
"NOOOOO!" shouted Micky and ran up to take an Oreo clothes bath.
"SHOOT I jsut CLEANED that!" shouted Al and glowered.
"MOMMY GLOWS!" shouted MT and ran around.
Al sighed cause they'd already been through that ad nauseum so she just went to bed.
Micky had fun with his Oreos. Davy had fun with his poundcake. MT had fun with his pops. Peter had fun with his continuity board. Mike had fun with his chicken fries. Al had fun with her bed, and BT had fun with uh.. the hat with the thing on it. Yeh.

The End.

P.S. Oh yeh, Sassip had fun with Link, and Link had fun zapping pouch mites.

Next Issue: Link wants to go national as a superhero and drags that stupid quartet along with him.

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