A Rather Egg-xact Transmogrification

One day, Sassip was feeling a bit peckish, and since Peter was the closest one around, she swallowed him down with about 5 gallons of water. Then took a nap to digest him.
"You shouldn't sleep right after you eat! You'll get fat!" said Davy.
"Shut up!" said Sassip and punted him.
"Huh, I was just trying to be helpful," said Davy.
"I am not fat!" said Sassip and went back to sleep.
Just then Mike rolled in from a chicken fry. "Hey, Davy," he said.
"Hi Mike." said Davy from the light fixture.
"How did you get up there, man?" asked Mike.
"Oh, Sassip punted me," said Davy noncommitally and shrugged as if it happened every day. "Well it does!" said Micky, strolling in.
Just then Sassip woke up and laid a giant egg. "Ugh," she said and went back to sleep.

"What the... What is with this man? The authors are crazy with the chickens and the wings and the girl/boy-boy/girl switches and mind control and..." started Mike.
"You mean that *ONE* author..." said Micky.
"Um.. yeh... er..." said Mike, who knew what happened when he bashed that *ONE* author.
"Oh ho, wings? I only gave you wings once!" said Al, strolling in.
"Everyone strolls in," said Davy, bored.
I meant..." said Mike, but it was too late.
"Hehe if you wanted wings that badly you should have said!" said Al and giggled.
"I DID NOT WANT THEM!" shouted Mike irately.
"Hey Mike them wings are really spiffin' man!" said Davy.
Mike shot a look at Davy. Davy promptly fell off the light fixture. Mike slapped Davy lightly on the cheek.
"Shut up Davy." he said.
"Hey.. hey hey Miiiike.. Mike? Miiikkee!? Hey Mike!" said Davy. Mike was trying to kill Al who kept dodging or poofing out. He also had a really skewed balance since his wings were so big and he forgot how to balance himself when he had them.
"WHAT DAVY!?" shouted Mike. "Can't you see I'm BUSY!?"
"But.. but Mike!? What about.. how you gonna ROLL to the chicken fries?" asked Davy with a worried look contorting his cute little face.
Suddenly Mike's expression went completely blank. Then fear crept in. Then a horrible rage.
"AAAAALLLLLLL!" he shrieked and poofed out after her.

"Oh my. Well, anyway, what do you fathom is in this egg?" asked Micky, poking it. A muffled sound came from inside.
"Hey Sassip, aren't you gonna be all motherly and put it in your pouch and keep it warm and coddle it?" asked Davy.
"No," said Sassip and drooled on BT.
"HEY I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" she shouted. For indeed she was behaving herself like a good little boofer.
Micky snickered.
"Shaddap!" she announced and flounced on him, pulling his hair.
"OUCH!" said Micky.
"Okay, Micky can sit on the egg." said Sassip boredly.
"Ooooh no I'm not sitting on that thing!" said Micky. "Some.. grotesque Sassip child will emerge and eat me!"
"HUH!" said Sassip and put Micky on the egg unceremoniously.
"NOOOO!" shouted Micky but Sassip gave him the evil eye so he stayed there and whimpered.
"Oh how cute!" said BT. "He's so cute!"
"SHUT UP!" Micky growled, temporarily interrupting his whimpering.
BT giggled and took a picture because it lasts longer.
"GRRRR," said Micky.
Mike wandered back in with no wings and a horribly disheveled looking Al.

"Hi guys. Where's Peter?" he asked.
"Ugh," said Al and fell over.
BT took a picture cause it lasts longer.
"I dunno. I haven't seen him," said Micky boredly.
"Hey Mick, you look like a chicken man!" said Mike with a big grin.
"URGH!" said Micky and then fell off the egg because it began to wiggle.
"Wow, that was a fast hatch!" said Davy.
Suddenly an adorable little sea beastie head broke through the shell.

"Awwwwww!" said everyone.
"Ugh!" said Sassip.
It was a cute little blue-green sea beastie with funky headspikes.
"Ewwww its all ughy!" said BT, poking at it.
"Cause it just hatched!" said Mike, boofing her.
"Ooof!" said BT and stopped.
"MIKE!!" said the baby sea beastie.
"Huh? You sound like.. PETER?" said Mike.
"Huh? Why.. what??" said Peter, looking around.
"Ugh he's a most horrid color!" said Sassip. "I will call you the Mucky Blue-Green Thing."
"PETER? Oh my.." said Al.
"Al! Change me back!" said Peter.
"Uh...." said Al but she forgot stuff cause Mike thrashed her earlier.
"No I didn't!" said Mike.
"Oh yeh, I forgot." said the author. "Al just forgot things cause she is dumb."
"Okay then." said Mike.
Peter squished himself out of the egg completely. "Ugh what was I doing in that egg?"
BT held up a mirror and took a picture cause it lasts longer.
"EEEPP!!" said Peter and ran around.
"Awwww look at my cute baby Mucky Blue-Green Thing!" said Sassip with a tear in her eye because he reminded her of herself when she saw horror.
Everyone was at a loss for words so they sat around and though.

"How come his headspikes are so messed up?" asked Mike, poking at them.
"How come you always poke at beasties' headspikes!?" asked Sassip and punted him.
"Hey they are weird though. They lay down like hair.." said Davy.
"Yeh.." said Micky.
"I think they will stick up when he dries off a bit," said Sassip.
But he did and they didn't.
"Maybe its cause he's really a human and so it acts like hair," said Al. Everyone looked at her funny but they didn't have a better explanation so they left it at that.
"Can you brush it?" BT wanted to know.
"NO!" said everyone loudly & Sassip stuffed BT in her pouch.
"I wanna try anyway," said BT & kicked Sassip horribly from in the pouch.
"OH OH OH I AM HAVING ANOTHER!!!" said Sassip.
"NO NO NO NO IT IS JUST MEEEE," shrieked BT & poofed herself out of the pouch. "Stupid freak," she said, and took a picture cuz it lasts longer.
"OH MY GOSH WILL YOU STOP DOING THAT!!!!!!" Micky screamed & threw her out the window, thus making the rest of the story a better place. Everyone applauded politely & Micky bowed and people threw flowers at him and... what the heck? Anyway.

Davy looked at Mucky Blue-Green Thing / Peter apprehensively. "I think... uhh, Mike?" he said, and winked, and they rolled off just as MT walked in.
"Oh, they go rolling chickyfry," he said happily. "OH SASSIP HAS A NEW FRIEND!!!!!" he screeched.
"I'm Pita," said Peter hurtly. "I mean Peter."
"Oh Pitasassip, yummy," said MT & got him all sticky.
"OH DON'T YOU DO THAT TO MY BABY!!" Sassip wailed, and drooled all over Peter.
"Ohhhh, ewwwwwwwwww," said Al and averted her eyes.
"Hey! You know how I said some stories back that I wanted to have Sassip's children?" Micky said.
"Ummm... Micky, I think you mean you wanted Sassip to have YOUR children," Peter said unsurely.
"Oh yeah, well, I did! She did. Um. I helped. I mean... oh my gosh how disgustingggg," Micky said in distress, and rolled off to a turkey fry before anyone could stop him.
"I should reform him," BT said dreamily, climbing back in the window.
"Ummm no," said Sassip & punted her, stuffing Mucky Peter Blue Thing Green Thing in her pouch thing.
"My babyyyy, la la," she said happily & sat on him, as she was inexperienced at having a kiddie sea monster.
"But... I'm Peter..." he said in distress.

"Hey, wait a minute," said Davy, rolling back in. "You know how I asked some stories back if Sassip's pouch was for raising young?"
"Was that you?" said Mike, helping him carry the doggie bags.
"I think so... well... how come she said it wasn't, and now-"
"Pay no attention to what I say for it may be fickle, tra la la hey nonny thingy!!" Sassip said, dancing around. Then MT began stuffing breffast serals in Sassip's pouch, amidst moans of protest from Peter.
"Uhh, I think that scene should be rated R just like that other one," Davy said shakily.
"It's okay, we have chicken," said Mike & proceeded to eat the contents of all his doggie bags.
"Oh my gosh what if there were 7 Mikes?" said Al, and made it so. They all rolled off to a grand chicken fry for identical siblings, and got lots and LOTS of news coverage. In fact they were on CNN. Thrice.
"Wasn't it lovely, how they all rolled in sync?" said BT, coming in from the telly-watching room.
"We don't have a thingyousaid," said Sassip and was horror.
"Um, Okay.." said Al who was so out of it she was totally sticky and didn't notice for days.
Consequently no one went near her and she thought it was cause she smelled funny but she had taken a shower earlier so she didn't.

Suddenly Pink Thing burst into the pad carrying a large bouquet of seaweed and kelp.
"LILY FROND I BROUGHT YOU THINGIES!" he announced gallantly.
"Ugh I am allergic," said Sassip and sneezed on him.
"You are not!" said Pink Thing and tried to nuzzle her.
"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FILTHY THING!" she shrieked and reared up, showing a rather squished and disheveled looking Peter.
"OMIGOSH YOU MATED WITH SOMEBEAST!?" shouted Pink Thing and ran around horroring.
"NO NO PINK THING IS HORROR!" Sassip shrieked, threw Peter from her pouch, and chased Pink Thing down. She administered 8 punts before he quit horroring.
"Whew! That was a close one. Can't have *THAT* much horror anywhere!" said Sassip.
"Ugh," said Peter and hid behind the couch cause he could and was little cause he was a "baby".
"Where did that little orphan hatchling go? I know he can't be YOURS cause you're MY mate!" said Pink Thing.
"I AM NOT! DAAAYYYYVVEEE!" she shouted and tried to punt him.
"SASSIP I AM NOT!" said Davy and ran away as fast as his little legs would carry him.
"Awww! Darn!" said Sassip and punted Micky instead.
"Oh she likes me" said Micky boredly, sailing through the air in a gracious arch and landing head first on Al and BT who happened to be standing next to each other for reasons unknown.
"Oh hehe," said Al and fainted.
"What was that?" asked Micky and punched her.
"Oh. Sorry. Ouch, why did you punch me?" asked Al, rubbing her cheek.
"Cause you were happy I landed on you!" said Micky.
"Oh no I was laughing cause it was funny you got punted. But uh... that's not funny anymore. So GET OFF!"

Meanwhile, BT was suffering from a severe lack of oxygen because Al fell on her because she is shorter than Al and Micky fell on Al cause Al is shorter than Micky.
"I AM STICKY!" muttered BT in a muffled muttery tone.
Micky got up and Al was stuck to him and BT was stuck to Al.
"Why am I sticky?" asked Al.
"Why are you asking things?" asked Micky.
"You asked something," said Al.
"OH NO YOU EVIL FIENDS SUCKED ME INTO THE QUESTION TRAP!" shouted Micky and took them on a spazz-out. When they returned Micky looked happy and Al and BT were horror.
"NOOOO HORROR!" said Sassip and punted the lot of them.
"But I wasn't horror!" shouted Micky angrily.
"Well you are now!" said Sassip and punted him again for good measure.
"Darn I wish she wouldn't punt him cause we get taken along tooo!" said Al and fainted cause she got a double head bang from the front and back.
"A WHAT!?" asked Mike.
"I got hit with Micky's dumb empty bonce from the front and BT's dumber even more empty bonce from the back," said Al and fainted again.
"Oh well if they are empty they shouldn't hurt so much," said Peter.
Micky went off to take a shower to wash the boofers off of himself and came back in drenched. BT had washed down the drain (much to Micky's relief) and Al had drowned in the tub cause she was still knocked out and Micky forgot to unplug the drain.

"She didn't drown, I turned her into a fishy," said BT, walking in carrying Al the Halibut.
"Then how are you talking?" asked BT.
"Oh.. uh.... *blub blub flip flop ugh*" said Al.
"That's better and..." started BT but Sassip had eaten Al.
"Time for food!" she said and started to Peter.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shouted Peter and ran away.
"Oh man...." said Pink Thing.
"SHut your mouth thingy!" said Sassip.
I know!" said three of the Mikes.
"Huh?" said the other four.
"This is annoying," said BT and made them all one again.
"GOOD!" said Mike.
"Did he... er.. THEY ever even officially get back from the fry?" asked Davy.
"I dunno but at any rate they are now and now they are all one," said Micky.
"YOU ARE WET!" said BT and hung him on the clothesline again. MT came out and made him sticky.
"UGH." said Micky.
BT had already gone back inside, and was trying to get Sassip to spit up Al.
"Oh she tickles!" said Sassip with a goofy grin.
"ERGH come on, give her back already!!" said BT & pulled the Heimlich maneuver on Sassip. She regurgitated Al across the room and out the window onto the clothesline where she made Micky all icky again and he yelled at her and then BT turned her back into herself.

"Now then. WE NEED FISH FOR MUCKY BLUE-GREEN THING TO HAVE SNACKSES!!" Sassip said loudly. Peter was afraid, so he rolled off, and CNN did a four-hour live coverage special of his rolling antics, since he could go all over the world as he was a sea beast.
"OHMIGOSH, if I get news coverage Sea Lily will LOVE me!!!" Pink Thing cried & presumed to roll everywhere but only local news ever picked up on it, and they only spent five minutes.
"UGH don't you DARE call me Sea Lily, that's not even a name I ever really HAD you just made it up, FOOL!!!!" Sassip shrieked at the television.
"Why is she shrieking?" whispered MT to Mike.
"I don't know," said Mike loudly.
"I think Mucky sounds too much like Micky," announced Micky, strolling in.
"Again with the strolling," complained Davy.
"HEY you are still sticky, you should be out drying!!" BT screeched & poofed him back out & wouldn't let him in until he dried off but Evil Al or MT kept coming and stickifying him.

"Sea Lilyfrond!!" Pink Thing said, running in excitedly and confusing the two names in the process. "Oh!! That can be your new name!! I know how hard it is to decide which you like better, but-"
"EEP!" said Davy and ran far away.
"Hi, I just had the most lovely time in Australia, there were-" Peter began, coming back.
"My BABY!!!! Help me quash the horror that is Pink Thing!!" Sassip yelped, bounding over to him.
"CAT FIIIIIGHT," screeched Mike.
"Is not," pointed out Al.
"Oh," said Mike and munched on a chicken sandwich.
"Oh there's an idea," said BT and poofed up a baked pickle chicken and lasagna sandwich, but it wasn't very good.
"Gimme that," said Mike. "OOH, I love these," he said chewing ravenously. "Wait no no I hate them," he said making a face and throwing it out the window. A few moments later there was a funny sound that sounded like Micky yelling really loudly but it was distant so everyone ignored it.
Pink Thing took that oppurtunity to seize Peter.

"Okay, this little orphan thing is going down!" said Pink Thing and ate Peter.
"OH HE .. HE.. HE ATE PETERRR!" shouted Al and fainted.
"Oh Mommy fall downs." said MT and poked at her with a pop.
"OH ITS COLD!" said Al and rolled around.
Suddenly Pink Thing made a face and laid an egg.
"Okay that's odd," said Sassip. "I always knew you were really a girl! I mean you're PINK!"
"I am not!" said Pink thing snitchily.
Pink Thing began to cry and ran off to where ever it was he came from usually.
Sassip went and retrieved Micky.
"SIT!" she said and he stuck because he was still sticky.
Eventually he fell over with the egg still attached to his tush.
"OH GET ME OFF ITS HATCHING!" he shouted in horror.
"HORROR!" shrieked Sassip and punted him. He came off the egg but got stuck on her flipper. She began scraping it against the floor and the table.

"Ugh ugh ugh sticky things are nasty!" she was saying to herself.
Micky finally got off and rolled off to the shower.
"MICKY TAKE A SHEEEE-YOOOWWWEEERR!" MT giggled and prided himself on learning what they were.
"Yes dear." said Al groggily and took some Coke. Soda that is.
Suddenly the egg hatched and out came a disheveled Peter looking disheveled and Petery.
"You already said that!" said Mike.
"Go eat fish," said the author.
"Ugh..." said Mike but was compelled to do so by authory forces.
Anyway, Mike came back haven eaten his fill, Peter washed himself with lots of soap... soooaap.................. soap... s..s..soap..

The End....... soap........

Next Soap.... er... Issue: Mike rolls off to a Chicken Fry Party with Davy and when they come back they are zombies.

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