I'm Like A Toy Balloon

One evening everything was happening as it usually does. I the pad that is. Sassip was drooling and Davy was being cute and Mike was being obstinate and Micky was being dumb and Peter was being dumb but Micky took his job so he was brainless and BT was being foopy and Al was being normal. She was the only normal one.
"Yeah right!" said Mike and began rolling around on the ground laughing so hard he busted a gut and had to have it fixed. Al was busy polishing her glasses to sheen. It got to the point where no one could look at her in the face without the bulk of the light being thrown back at them. Seriously. It was like looking into the sun.
BT hated it so she kept putting mud and things on them. Al got made and polished them to a sheen again and so on. Davy thought this was interesting so he watched them for 5 hours straight. Sassip had watched Davy watching them but he was so cute she fell asleep from the monotony of the intense cuteness. It was so cute in fact that if Al looked directly at him his cuteness that reflected off himself would richochete around the room and hit things causing mass swooning over dumb things like toilet paper or spoons. But I digress.

Eventually Al tired of BT and left her glasses normal sheened and went to go do something. Davy was intently curious for reasons unknown, and followed her about the place.
"MOOOMMMY!" said MT, having awoken from his nap.
"Is 'awoken' a real word?" asked Micky, scratching his head and swooning at a roll of toilet paper someone left out on the table.
"Oh good grief!" said Mike, averting his eyes from it. "Hasn't that cuteness worn off yet? Really Davy.. you should be careful."
"Sorry fellas.." said Davy, watching MT and Al at a safe distance. He was sitting behind a blind and occasionally adjusting it so that he could see out of it better.
"They're not gorillas.." said Peter.
"Shhh.. this is interesting." said Davy. "I think that one is the mother and that short one is the son... and..."
"Davy!?" said Al, looking at him oddly. "What in the WORLD are you on about?"
Davy looked acutely embarassed and ran around crazily.
"Nooo! Stopppp!" said MT, whacking MT upside the head.
"MT, stop hitting yourself honey dearest..." said Al, staring at him oddly.
"Oh......." said MT and began to slap Davy who had since stopped running around crazily.
"What!? I stopped already!" he shrieked.
"Oh ho he shrieked! So cute! Poor baby!" said Al.
"Oh!" said Davy and they just stared for a while. "She's not really cute but she's funny!"
Al gave Davy a funny look and took a picture cause it lasts longer.
"You mean funny as in odd... right?" said Mike.
"Oh, yeh!" said Davy giving Mike a "What other 'funny' is there?" look.
"No faaaiir!" said BT beating up Micky. "Why don't you do that for meee!?"
Micky put on his crystal and watched with glee as BT flung back and hit Sassip, landing in her pool of drool.
"ERGH!" said BT.
"I'm hungry.." said Micky and wandered off sleepily.

Meanwhile Al was developing the picture of Davy she took and was swooning at it and Davy was swooning at the fact that she was swooning.
"WHY are you swooning?! She's not even cute! You said so yourself!" BT demanded of him.
"Well yeh I mean she's weird looking but she's very.. I dunno...." said Davy, contemplating his existence on the earth and why he had been blessed and cursed to have such profound cuteness.
"You're off your chump, buddy!" said BT annoyedly.
"Davy don't think about things like that.. you'll hurt your shiny shiny hair!" said Al, half looking up.
"URGH!" said BT.
"You betcha!" said Davy happily in responce to Al.
"You were thinking about WHAT?!" asked BT suddenly realizing what was said.
"I dunno... about being the cutest thing on the planet is all.." said Davy dreamily.
"AHH!" said BT and looked evil.
Davy and Al looked at her and shrugged.
"We'll find out soon enough.." they both said with a look of fear passing across their faces.

So they all went to bed and nothing odd happened. But the next morning (don't you just love how everything happens after people wake up?) Davy shrieked.
Everyone woke up and ran over to his bed.
"What's up Davy?" he asked.
"Hey... hey guys I'm up HERE!" said Davy. And indeed her was. Or his head was anyway. It was a big cute balloon.
"YES!" said Al, breathlessly.
Everyone then turned to BT and awaited an answer.
"Well no one asked, but he was getting a big swelled head so I thought I'd teach him a lesson. Unfortunately it seems as if he is the embodiment of cute so unfortunately he is cute as a balloon too. Go fig," said BT calmly and smartly.
"Wow that was smart.." said Peter.
"I took it from Al's book, 105 ways to torture things that are fun." said BT.
"That's a stupid name for a book!" said Mike, contorting his face into a weird ... face.
"HEEELLLLLPPP!" shouted Davy.
Al gingerly grabbed his string and brought him back down to his body. He grabbed his string and tried to position his balloon head in its normal position.
"Lemme.." said Micky and grabbed Davy's head, tying the string around Davy's chest so that it would sort of make his head float in the right spot.
"Better?" asked Micky.
"No, my head keeps spinning.." said Davy woosily. For it was indeed spinning in that lazy spinny manner that balloons have.

"Oh dear what if someone pops you?" asked Mike.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shouted Davy and tried to steady his head.
"Hey, didn't we have a plot like this already? Head losing?" asked Mike.
"Not yet it's still in the works. SHHHH!" said Peter.
"No dear it's not breakfast yet.." said Al, absentmindedly watching Davy.
"Oh! But but but, it's morning Mommy!" said MT, yanking sheepishly in Al's nightgown.
"What?" asked Al stupidly.
"OOOOH! Mommy are dumber than me!" said MT in a voice of wonderment.
"No.. it's Mommy is dumber than you. Mommy is only one." said Al still absentmindedly watching Davy's cute balloon head thing.
"Mommy is only 1!!! EHHH!!! I am older than Mommy!" said MT happily, and proceeded to pick her up. "I are your Daddy. We go have some breffast serals now!" he announced as authoritatively as possibly and took her downstairs, banging her head all the way down on the railing of the stairs.
"Nooo MT bring her back she needs to change me back!" said Davy, running around in circles cause his head wouldn't stay put.
"Bref-fast seee-rals, bref-fast seeee-rals," chanted MT happily, dragging Al to the kitchen & shoving unidentifiable lumps of colored sugar down her throat. "Tsyoo kare-fleee!"
"WHAT?!" said Davy in confusion. "She has to make me a not-balloon!"
"Your balloon has a knot? Aw poor thing lemme fix it," said BT. "Wait. I'm annoyed at you. Oh well, blarghy blargh time to try & attach myself to Micky-thing," she said, & did so. Micky bounced her off.
"That was fun," said BT & went to eat less sugary breffast serals.

"I'm goin' to Pita's mind to see if I can fix it myself," said Davy, shaking his head, & poofed off. BT, Mike & Micky followed.
"LAAA LA LA LA!!" Sassip said loudly, splashing around in her pool. Everyone was very wet now.
"Ugh," said Davy.
Sassip stared. "DAAAAY-VEEEEEEEE?" she said loudly.
"DON'T BOUNCE!" said Mike.
"Yeah, what he said," said BT.
"Uh-huh," said Micky.
"Whaaaat!?" said Al poofing in, having managed to free herself from MT & the Breffast Serals.
"Baby?" said BT.
"Ball-moooon?" said Micky.
"Twelve?" said Mike.
"Huh?" said everyone.
"Oh..." said Mike & rolled off to a chicken fry party.
"Oohhhh no you don't," said Davy grabbing him by the hat. "I need moral support."
"You mean moral support," said Mike.
"Yeah, whateva."
"Oh well, I can't turn it back," said BT flouncing off in a snit.
"You snit-flouncer!" Micky called after her.
Mike giggled for unapparent reasons.
"I wouldn't ask her to turn it back if she COULD," remarked Davy. "Aaaalll can you he...oh, foop." Al was drooling at Davy.
"Don't drool," said Sassip, punting Al.
"Oh, look who's talking, Miss Drool-Pool!" said Micky.
Sassip looked shocked. "I never!!"
"Indeed you have!" Micky countered.
"Have not."
"Have not."
"Have NOT."

"There has to be some quippy quip comment thing I could make about 'haves & have-nots'," BT attempted to quip, snit-flouncing back in.
"Whooooo, lookie here, it's the SNIT-flouncer. Aren't WE grand," said Micky making a face.
"At least I don't drool," said BT.
"I DON'T EITHER!" said Sassip.
"Yes you do," said BT.
"Do not."
"Do too."
"Do not."
"PEOPLE!!!!!" screamed Mike.
"Yes?" said BT & Sassip innocently.
"Yesss?" said Micky like he knew he was in trouble.
"YES?!" said Davy in exasperation.
"Yes?" said Al feeling queasy from all the breffast serals.
"Yes?" said Mike until Micky punched him for answering himself & BT punched him because he punched Mike, and because she liked him, & pretty soon everyone was punching each other. "Ugh," said Davy & left to find MT, so he could get Al's attention.

Davy hauled MT back into Peter's mind pad. He tsked at Peter because Peter had forgotten to lie down he was so excited to poof in and see what Davy was up to. MT shoved about three boxes of breffast seral down Davy's balloon mouth which was hard considering he had a neck the size of a string.
Davy finally persuaded MT to come into Peter's mind pad.
"Its not morning its afternoon." said Davy.
"Dayy-veee?" said MT.
"Yes MT?"
"Daaayyy-veeee want more serals!?" said MT said grabbing about 8 boxes.
"Oh shoot how did he get so much!?" said Davy.
"I love breffast serals!"
"Yes yes, uh.. Mommy wants some and she's in Peter's mind pad!" said Davy.
"Oh, but she says she no never want see serals again!" said MT.
"Yes, well, she told me she did come on!" said Davy lugging MT away.

Al was being punched by Mike and was in the process of punching Micky and BT when she was unsurreptiously yanked from the crowd and had about 3 boxes of cereal shoved down her throat before she could fathom what was happening. Consequently she was spewing cereal out of her nose everytime she laughed for the next month.
Mike thought this was the most hilarious thing that ever happened to anyone, except the bubble incident with BT which he deemed rollable as well. Unfortunately for him, Al didn't laugh that often. At least not hard enough for cereal spewing.
And BT was off the whole bubble spewing thing.

Anyway, Davy looked at Al worriedly.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
MT was holding his hand happily and munching on some cereal himself.
"Did you.. ack.. bring him here?" she asked woosily.
"Um, yeh, because he's the only one strong enough to yank you out.." said Davy.
"Yeh, what's with that? He's stronger than Micky and Micky is the same as him." said Mike, wandering over to see what all the humdrum was about, and consequently getting his first taste of true comedy.
Al spewed some cereal out of her nose and got up to find some milk, cause everyone knows cereal is gross without milk.
Mike was on the floor before the last bit of cereal fell.
"I'm worried about Mike..." Micky said to Davy, who tried to nod sympathetically but only succeeded in bobbing up and down.
Micky surveyed the process with sudden interest. "Try shaking your head!"
Davy's balloon wavered back & forth a little but it mostly just bobbled around.
"BWAHAHAHAH!" said Micky & rolled on the floor with Mike.
"OH! I WANNA ROLL ON THE FLOOR WITH MICKYYY," said BT & started rolling around but Micky had quit rolling, so her efforts were futile but she didn't know that.
"How disgusting," said Micky & loosened Davy's string, tugging on it.
"Heehee, it bobs all up and down and up and down and...OH NO MY EYES!" said Micky, clutching his head because now his eyes were going up and down. He collapsed on the floor & rolled until he bumped into BT & she screeched, "MICKYYY" and he freaked out & did the Spastic Mickydance & BT melted & Mike rolled through her & got all sticky & was disgusted.

"Oohh, yummy syrup for breffast serals," said MT scooping up BT & pouring her on serals.
"UGH UGH UGGHHHH," said Al & knocked the bowl away, spilling breffast serals & BT syrup every which way.
"Oh ugh, and we just had me cleaned for pistachio nuts & bird seed," Peter said, poofing in.
"How did you get in?!" said Sassip, bouncing uncomfortably.
"I can, remember?" said Peter.
"But you were already in, how did you get in before?!" said Sassip, pausing her bouncingness.
"Uhhhh..." said Peter in a perplexed state.
Meanwhile, Al was lecturing MT. "You can't use melty people as a syrup! It's cannibalistic, and besides that we dun want her to get a bowl stuck on her tush again, we don't need no steenking subplots."
"Sowwy Mommy!" MT said brightly & cutely, & as if he had not heard a word Al had spoken.
"Ugh," said Al.
BT had gotten up the energy to poof back & when she did, she did not have a bowl on her tush but there were bits of breffast seral strewn throughout her hair.
Mike thought this was the most hilarious thing besides the cereal out of nose and the bubble thing and so he was off and rolling again.
"What? Its just CEREAL!" said BT huffily.
Mike shook his head and rolled out of Peter's mind to who knows where.
"Probably a you know what.." said Davy and Micky.

Meanwhile Al had taken Davy's head off his body and brought it over to a couch and plopped down and stared at it.
"Uh, Al?" asked Davy.
"Can you tie my head back onto my body please?"
"Uh...." said Al.
Meanwhile Davy's body was trying to find his head and groping around.
"Eeek!" said Micky running around.
"OH HAHAHAH!" said Mike who had just come back in having almost sufficiently recovered from the last fit of hilarity. "OH NO! EHEH!" he shouted and rolled off again.
BT had reattached herself to Micky's leg and Micky was getting fed up. "IF YOU DON'T GET OFF RIGHT NOW I'M GONNA POP SOME HEADS!" he shrieked.
"OH NO NO AL DOn"T LET HIM EEEKK!" shouted Davy, his face was all scared and his body was running into Mike.
Mike was just laughing hysterically so that he fell over into a little ball and tripped Davy's body who was sprawled out on the floor in no time.
"Ixnay on the eadhay oppingnay." said Al through clenched teeth at Micky.
"I don't think you did that right.." pointed out Peter helpfully.
"Shut uuuuuuuppp I never was very good at it.." Al sulked and stared at Davy's head some more.
"Um, 'scuse me, you wouldn't mind replacing me 'ead back on me body?" he asked sheepishly.
"Oh, sorry." said Al, staring intently at him the whole way over to his sprawled out body.
"Best right yourself Davy huh?" said Al helpfully.
"You think? You try doing it without a head..." said Davy irritably, getting up with much difficulty. Al replaced his head over his body and got a long long turtlenecked sweater. She pulled it down over Davy and then popped half the balloon head out of the neck, after having tied the string around his chest again.

"Whew.. that's a bit better.. now.. BT.. PLEASE change me back!" said Davy.
"It has to wear offf!" BT whined as Micky was attempting to pop her head with a large ice pick. "Ouch! Lay off!" she whinged.
"GET OFFFFAAAAMEEEE!" he shrieked turning bright red and tripping out of the room. But not without kicking BT out the window first.
"Wow, lookit her go...how come this is suddenly a seventeen-story house?" said Mike, peering out the window.
"No no no, this is the seventy-eighth story," Peter said in a confused tone. Mike just put his hands over his eyes & let him be confused.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh...." came a faint sound from the window but everyone ignored it.
"Hmm, Davy that really isn't your color," Al remarked in reference to his funky turtleneck.
"Hmph. YOU poofed it on me. I wish I could eat pound cake," Davy sighed.
"OH well I don't care 'cause I can eat YOU!!" Sassip said happily & prepared to do so.
"NONONO he'll pop!!!" shrieked Al.
"Oh, fudge," said Sassip in a daunted manner.
"Ooh *thud*." Mike peered out the window. "Ooh, she's reached the ground."
Micky walked in, looked out the window, & then surveyed Davy.
"You know man, that's not really your color..." he said critically.
"Thanks awfully," Davy said sarcastically.
"OHHHH he was sarcastically," said Al & Sassip & swooned.
"Oh good grief," said Micky & Mike & kicked them until they woke up. (They had to both kick Sassip, for a whole hour. She was, to say the least, displeased.)
Just then BT walked in, looking like *cuckoo*.
"I AM GOING TO KILL SOMEONE," she announced.
"Oh, that's nice," said Mike patting her on the head absently & rolling himself off to a chicken fry party.
BT walked up to Micky & stared directly at him. "I AM GOING TO KILL *YOU*."
"Oh, okay," said Micky & stared off into space. BT proceeded to bounce off him about a million times and get so frustrated she curled up in the corner & went to sleep.
"BREFFAST SERALS FOR YOU MOMMY!!" MT said walking in happily.
"Where did you go anyway?? I thought you were already HERE," said Micky.
MT looked offended. "I WAS. But then I went away to procure breffast serals for MOMMY AAALLLL thing."
"Ohhhh he said procure!!!" said Al and giggled until MT shoved breffast serals into her mouth with great vigour.
Mike roooollled on the floor (having returned from his chicken fry party) as he thought this was hilarious, and was soon joined by Peter & Micky. Davy was miserable in his balloondom, Sassip was too big to roll, and everybody knows BT is a boofer.

"I want to eat Davvvvvyyy!" Sassip shrieked loudly and unhappily.
"You are such an airhead!" Micky intoned haughtily.
"HMPH!" said Davy, highly offended.
"You highly offended Davy." said Al helpfully.
"What are you, Peter?" asked Micky.
"No. I am!" said Peter helpfully.
"THAT'S the Peter we all know and love!" said Mike, putting Peter's hands over his eyes again.
"What about mee?! Stop saying things about meee!" said Davy irritably.
"Chill out babe, we're not talking about you!" said Peter.
"BUT YOU SCARE ME!" said Davy. He threw a blanket over his head and looked miserable.
"Oh dear." said Al.
"I know. I'll juggle for you!" said BT.
"What?!" asked Micky.
"I will juggle. It will cheer him up. Everyone will love me and YOU WILL KISS ME!" she shouted stupidly.
"That's okay," said Micky, pushing her out the window again.
"Okay, now that that pesky fly that makes all the noise is gone..." said Al.
"ITS NOT A FLY ITS MEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" shouted BT on the way down.
"Oh wow that was BT? Oh. Well anyway, now that that pesky BT is gone, I think.. shoot I dunno how she did this to you Davy!" said Al in a perplexed tone.
"I want to play No Time," said Peter and began to bang out a charming rendition on the pyano.
"Oooooookkkaaayyyy.." said Davy, Al, Mike and Micky, staring at him. MT shoved some breakfast cereal into Peter's throat, shutting him up. Mike spluttered and went into the bathroom. Loud rolling boisterous laughter soon ensued.
BT had since landed and flew in at Micky with a vengeance.
Micky yawned and boofed her yards with his crystal. BT got sick of it and went to find Mike, who's loud laughter threw her off the balcony.

"Is he laughing at me!?" asked Davy.
"Nooo he's laughing at BT." said Al.
"Noooo he's laughen at Pitttaaaa!!!" said MT.
"Oh.. right." said everyone.
"Why does BT keep falling off things?" asked Peter, spluttering the last of the cereal out.
"Its cause I'm short!" Davy intoned.
"What huhhh!?" asked Micky.
"Ehehehe," said Davy and began rolling all around the floor until he lost his head. Quite literally.
"Davy man stop doing that!" said Al, grabbing it before it went above her height and reaffixing it to him.
BT tromped in then. She didn't look mad so much as half-dead, but she crossed her arms & stared at the window firmly, very carefully, & blinked.
"HAHAHA now the window is GONE and you can't throw me out of it," she said triumphantly.
"Oh, she's such a moron," Micky sighed & threw her off teh balcony.
"People make me tired," he said dumbly & went downstairs to find pound cake. I mean, pound Coke. I mean Coke.
"HE SIIIIIIIIIIIGHED," said BT on her way down.
"Will you stop doing that?! It detracts from the plot," Mike said in an irked tone.
"Pound Coke..." Sassip mused.
"There is no plot anyway," said Peter happily and began to play some lovely Bach.
Mike went and turned his nose around, getting different stations. After awhile Peter started playing Shades Of Gray.
"Ah, much better station," Mike said approvingly & went downstairs to see if there was chicken.
"There isn't," said Sassip but Mike ignored her because everybody knows she lies.
Al stared at Davy.
"Cut it out," said Davy shifting nervously.
"Oh, sorry, I was miles away," said Al.
"I know where you were," said Micky evilly coming back in.
"QUIT READING MY MIND!!" said Al tetchily.
Micky just grinned & whispered something to Davy.
"AL!!!" said Davy.
Al hid behind the piano.
"What was it??" said Mike coming back in after Micky. Davy whispered it & Mike started rolling everywhere, & pretty soon Micky told Peter.
"I WANT TO KNOW I WANT TO KNOW!!" said BT coming back. "Hey why's Mike rolling again?"
"JOIN IN, IT'S FUN!" said Mike passing by.
"Um, no thanks...what did Al think huh huh?" said BT. "WHISPER IT MICKY!"
"Ew," said Micky disgustedly and so Peter told her.
"Ah, yes, the Drawer O' Fun," BT said evilly.
"SSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!" said everybody.
BT looked offended. "You all know ANYWAY. Hmm. I like Micky better than carrot cake," she said & proceeded to play a lovely duet with Peter, until Sassip punted them both into the piano & closed it on them.

"Ah, lucky lucky. I think that spell thing is about to wear off!" said Al to Davy.
"What spell?" asked Davy, ignoring the muffled shrieks from the pyano.
"THE HEAD THING!" said Al.
"Well gee you don't have to rub it in!" said Davy.
"Um.. okay..." said Al, looking mightily confused.
So they sat around for hours waiting.
"Sooo?" asked Davy.
"Um, I guess I was wrong." said Al, eating some poundcake.
"Oops.. sorry." said Al.
BT snickered from her vantage point of Micky.
"OMIGOSH SHE'S GOT A VANTAGE POINT ON ME!" shrieked Micky and got up, causing BT's vantage point to dissipate.
"NOOOOO I HATE YOU AL AND DAVY!" shouted BT, having managed to sit still for hours. And we all know how hard pressed BT is to sit still for a second.
Davy shrugged and magically his balloon head turned back to normal but it was backward. "AAALLLLl!"
"Uh uh uh...." said Al, poofing it right side out.
"Whew.. well.. hmm.. my head feels heavy I will go to bed." said Davy and he left, leaving everyone sitting around watching BT trying to uncramp herself for hours.

The End.

Next Issue: BT is a genie & winds up belonging to Davy.

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