monday - june nineteen, two thousand - 9:50am
friday paul and i went out with mary and her boyfriend. he was in town, and we've been planning a double date for two months.... i like him - he was fun. we really had a blast. mary and i both drank too much - i was definately paying for it on saturday. i ate like a pig - i always eat like a pig when i'm hung over.
mary's b-friend got her diamond earrings and a baby eagle pistol for her birthday. her birthday isn't actually until the 26th, but he won't be here so they celebrated it this weekend. i almost feel bad, cuz paul saw that, and now he's gonna feel obligated to get me lots for my birthday - you probably think i'm all full of shit... that i really want him to get me lots of stuff - but, honestly, he gets me little surprises all the time... he's so generous on an everyday basis, that i don't want him to think he has to outdo mary's boyfriend on my bday...... REALLY! okay, you don't have to believe me, i'll make sure HE knows i mean it.
when i first started this little project, i could hardly wait until the next day to add an entry - lately, it's been more of a chore. i still enjoy it, but i got a little bummed out when i found a stats link on geocities... it tells me how many people hit my page each day, week, month... etc. i think it's best if i don't know these things - ultimately i'm doing this for myself. i really have felt a lot healthier mentally since i started writing everyday... but, i still can't help that leo in me that wants to be famous. i want to have as many readers as squishy, damnit! i know her writing's a lot funnier and she's got awesome forums going on with great discussions everyday - i understand these differences... i'm still learning.... my life is probably just not exciting enough anymore to be interesting reading for a stranger. but, if i evaluate it differently - i'm a lot happier now that i was when my life was more exciting, does that make sense?
i used to go out a lot more - drink a lot more - sleep around a lot more, but life wasn't going anywhere. i was a waitress, for god's sake - i had no direction. no degree, no goals. now i'm in a blissful relationship, i have my degree and i'm working in a field that i enjoy coming to everyday. that makes for some boring reading, man! i wouldn't trade it for anything, though. if i don't get readers this way, i'll start a new page with a totally ficticious life - i've lived it, i can just go back into my psyche 5 years ago and pretend i'm still that person. it might be fun - in writing only. i'll keep you posted if this new website ever decides to take shape.
