tuesday - august fifteen, two thousand - 9:32am
well, in approximately two hours, i'll officially be 30 years old. finally i can say it and mean it.... (i've been saying i'm 30 for about half of 29). i got a card from my brother saying it makes HIM feel old that his little sis is 30. i don't feel old. people have always been shocked when i tell them my age - now it'll be even worse, i suppose.
mary had me over last night to celebrate. she made sweedish meatballs, asparagus with a cabernet..... very yummy. then we had cheesecake with strawberries and cognac for desert. she's a good hostess.... and a good cook. we had a great time just sitting and talking - like always. she gave me a very cool wine rack from pier one. i've been wanting a wine rack for years! paul bought me a bottle of wine to put in it. i'll have to make it a point to keep several bottles around for it now.
i had these hidiously horrible dreams last night. i only really remember one of them now - but it was strange. paul said i was mumbling in my sleep..... that's usually not a very good sign. i was tossing and turing half the night. i woke up at about 4:30am with a headache and a backache. i got up and took three ibuprofen and crashed on the couch because i was keeping poor paul up. in my dream, i was at my old house - the one i grew up in... these three men show up at the window and are trying to look inside, but for some reason they don't see me. i start to get a little nervous.... then they start jiggling the window as if they're trying to break in... so i run to the back room and start to call 911.
i'm on the phone with some lady when one of the guys grabs the phone out of my hand - i can hear a man on the other line telling the lady it's a mistake, and that i'm crazy..... suddenly there are five men - two are with me in the backroom and i can see two others in the next bedroom with my maid... (i never had a maid - i don't know where that came from) - anyway, they are trying to rape her and i start to scream for them to stop - but the two men that are in the backroom with me just laugh and restrain me. i can't help but think they probably have the same idea for me. i suddenly decide to cooperate with them because i'm guessing it would hurt a lot less if i don't fight.... but all i can think about is having to explain what happened to paul later, and saying that i didn't even fight them. i feel horrible, and i'm just hoping to god the police will come and check it out anyway, despite what the man on the phone told them.
luckily, before they get very far, we hear a noise in the basement. i'm thinking it must be the cops - so one of the guys puts a gun to my side and guides me downstairs with the rest of them. we see that some sort of duct has broken off and that's all the noise was.... my heart just sank as i realized the police were not coming, and i was just going to have to endure this horribleness until they decided to leave. i still didn't even know what they had come for. the maid gets brave and somehow wriggles away from her restrainer and we become these wonder women and she is kicking and i run away towards the upstairs..... i grab the phone on my way and go all the way up to the third floor where my bedroom is. i'm dialing on the way, but when i get there, a man is sitting at my computer. he tries to get the phone away from me, but somehow i am able to get my address out to the woman - but i remember it seeming to take forever for them to even answer. they other men came upstairs after me and i told them the police were on their way. one of the men just laughed and said - it'll take them 20 minutes to get clear out here. then i woke up...... but, the worst part of the whole thing is how real my fear was. i've never had such REAL emotions come from a dream. i'm still weirded out about it! what the hell did you put in those meatballs, mary??
