Hello again my peeps, and at the risk of sounding like David Lee Roth........ Guess who's back in circulation!
First off, I want all of you to send this to EVERYONE on your mailing list. It isn't spam, but promotion, as you'll see when you scroll down. Well, folks, a LOT has happened since the last issue of Ossified. Israel is blaming Saddam. U.S. is blaming Bin Laden. Dennis, the man who risked carpal tunnel syndrome fighting me on my last issue, got himself published in a letter to the editor. I became a whore.
What's this? I've become a whore, you ask? That is correct.
No, not that kind, but a REAL whore. This ossified is all about me, shamelessly plugging Brett Doyle's new boogies spot.
You see, Bret and Richard Arsenault took over the Sports Page and have turned it into a dance club. For those that may mot know, Bret used to DJ at Myron's, so all you
Myron's lovers will get your music back. He also stole a few other Myron's DJs too, not to mention, half their staff - Gass, Birt, Ethan, Adrian.
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The good part is, the cover is next to nothing and the drinks are much cheaper, as you will see in his official release attached to this email. Of course, you know I wouldn't be a TOTAL whore, cuz it's somewhat self serving. You see, Myron's has gone soft and conservative, and Bret wants to be edgy, to be stunning, to have people shaking their heads in bewilderment, so, where else would he turn, but right here?
Basically, it's up to myself, (as the guinea-pig, novelty act) Mike and ethan to come up with the shockers that will have people walking away saying "you should see the shit that goes on at this place!" So far, a fairly conservative idea we came up with is a beer chugghing contest.
A person gets up, challenges your truly to a chug contest. He provides the glass of draught for both, and if he beats me, he gets a free pitcher. Of course, when he loses he will join the long list of pseudo alcoholics who've fallen by the wayside trying to dethrone me. But it'll be fun! Anyway, if you guys can come up with some outlandish shit, by all means forward it to me. (Barber, Scrat, Damian - I know you guys have some gold)
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