It's that oh so special time of week we've all come to appreciate, where we can check our mailboxes and find what is sure to be the fuel for many a snicker alongside the water fountain, or messenger conversation etc.First off, let me start by saying my faith has been restored. it was announced today that the Backstreet Boys are shooting a video for a new track to be included on their upcoming Greatest Hits album. I'm pumped. And, I'm being serious.
Now, before you all shake your head and think I've gone queer, stop and examine it for a second.
Anyone who knows ANYTHING, knows that when a band releases a Greatest Hits album while they're still together, knows that the end is near.It happens to all bands that release a hits package while "at heir peak" Now, not all bands retire, but there's ALWAYS a lineup change, or a change in the band's fortunes. It happens to them all. Basically, the Cog Theory kicking in. A band reaches a certain level of success, and rather than have the band take a risk by recording new music, the record companies prefer the safe approach by milking the past for every cent, until the public gets sick of the band. So, let's all celebrate - in 1 more year, there will be no more Backstreet Boys. Thatmeans that N Sync won't be too far behind. Britney and Christina have to stay tho, cuz Chris can sing, and Britney's just plain HOT. Next, I'd like to talk about the Godfather of all things metal
Ossified
   
Online
The Madman. The Devil. The Anti-Christ. Johnny Oz The Ozzman.
Whatever you call him. Ozzy has a new album due out in October. I may have to send a death threat to Epic Records cuz I don't know if I can hold off that much longer. 6 Years since the last Ozz record is TOO long. The first single is already flooding the market. It's called Gets Me Through. Picture a cross between No More Tears, from the album No More Tears, and Perry Mason, from the album Ozzmosis, and you have Gets Me Through. 50 plus years old and the fucker STILL has it. No other artsit has been able to remain HALF as credible once they reached the age of 35, and this guy is 20 years beyond that. Factor that with the fact that the Ozz should probably be dead, and the man deserves legendary status.
He is finally getting some respect too. In 2002, he will be indcuted into the Hollywood wlak of fame, alongside the like of Al Pacino and what not. OZZY OZZY OZZY There, I got that out of me. Summer is coming to a close, and none too soon. I was talking to the Oak tonight, and we were discussing how a shitty Canada Day should have been a sign of things to come. I knew full well no summer could ever compare to last summer (almost makes me wanna bust out the Sinead O'Connor ballads), but I also didn't expect it to be this fucking bad. Noone wants to go hardcore anymore. It's brutal. The only time I even went remotley close to hardcore was in Sydney. Ferg ol  buddy - although I'm gonna shut down the drinking for a while after this weekend, keep in mind that Monday is a holiday kid, and you and I are gonna party Old Muthafukkin School Style, bro. Do whatever has to be done tis week, and get out your best drinking outfit, dry clean it, press it, whatever! Also, maybe you'll wanna go to church kid, cuz we are gonna take ourselves to hell and back this weekend.
I think we BOTH need it really bad kid! Oh well, while a boring, lackluster, and utterly disappointing summer comes to a halt, I'm holding out (no Bonnie Tyler comments) for a decnt fall. I'm banking on Oka's theory - this summer was the calm before the storm. And if that's the case, like I told him, I'm gonna make DAMN dure I'm the eye of the hurricane, the epicenter of the earthquake, the boom of the bomb, the thunder clap of the lightning bolt - basically, I'm gonna make sure, come November, I AM the most psycho, drunk, lunatic running around.
I'm gonna make sure I'm so outta control that when Damian comes from California for x-mas, that the San Diego Zoo pays him to cage me and bring me back. Steve Irwin (crocodile hunter) is gonna come after me by December.
Fuck this settle down shit. Once I finish doin what I gotta do this fall, I'm gonna terrorize this town. Of course, there's gonna be a jaunt to Halifax - Carl, better tell Ash that me and Irwin are coming to town, and not to plan on sleeping that weeknd cuz there ain't no rest for the wicked. Then, there'll be a jaunt to Fredricton in November, so I can show those pussies how REAL hardcore motherfuckers party.
Anyhow, I'm gettin a little outta control right now.
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