It was a few hours later as Alexa finished up some paperwork, when her pager got her attention again. She stifled a gasp, as she read the emergency message that called her to Jamie�s room, and took off down the hallway.

The room was filled with nurses when she arrived, and Alexa noticed the on-call doctor stationed over Jamie�s bed. She stayed back, watching everything and silently chanting prayers that Jamie was going to be fine. Her attention kept going back to the heart monitor, hoping that something would break the steady wail that it emitted. She felt as if her own heart was going to stop as the doctor stepped back, calling the time as he did.

She fought to pull herself together as she stepped forward toward the other doctor.

"Dr. Reeves, he was a patient of yours, yes?" The sympathy was evident in his voice, and Alexa simply nodded at him. She couldn�t tear her eyes from the white sheet across the room. The doctor placed a hand on her shoulder. "It�s your first loss?" He waited and when she didn�t reply he gently steered her to the door, "Your shift is over, go home."

She found her voice suddenly, "I can�t, I�m covering until nine." She knew it wasn�t professional to cater to her personal feelings in a situation like this.

"We�ve all lost our first at some point. I think we understand. Go." His voice was quiet, and he pushed her again to the door.

Part of her didn�t want to leave Jamie. She knew there was nothing she could do for him now, but she should be there when his mother arrived, his sister. The rest of his family. They knew her, had known her for years. She should be there.

The other part of her carried her out of the hospital to her car.

She didn�t know how or why she�d ended up at AJ�s door. She�d left the hospital and just driven, no destination in mind and this is where the road had taken her. She stood on the doorstep for a minute, before lifting her hand to knock.

Her knock was soft at the beginning and then harder, and more insistent. She felt the tears prick at her eyes again, just before the door swung open.

"Alexa? I ..." AJ didn�t have the chance to say anything else before Alexa threw herself into his arms. Instinctively he wrapped his arms around her, and carefully pulled her into the house, shutting the door behind them.

She clung to him until she stopped crying, both of them still standing in the hallway. She could feel his hand gently rubbing her back before she took a step away from him. His hand stayed on her arm.

Alexa sniffled, and wiped at her eyes, before looking at him, "I�m sorry, I just ended up here. I guess I didn�t know where else to go." She suddenly felt foolish, and her eyes dropped to the floor.

"You can always come here, �Lexa." He reached out, brushing a stray strand of hair from her cheek before tipping her face up to look at him again. "What�s wrong, baby?" As he looked at her, he fought the urge to gather her into his arms again. She looked so upset, so vulnerable, and it felt so good to hold her, to know that she needed him.

Alexa took a shuddering breath, still in an effort to calm herself. She wiped again at her eyes, but the tears soon began again as she spoke. "Jamie�s gone. He died a couple hours after you left." The tears fell down Alexa�s cheeks, and she found herself wrapped in AJ�s arms again before she knew it.

"Ssh, sweetheart." He whispered comforting words until she�d quieted again, then walked her slowly over to the sofa, still holding her tightly. "I�m so sorry, �Lexa," he said softly as he pulled her closer. Alexa snuggled into his embrace enjoying the comfort that being there brought her.

They sat that way until Alexa caught sight of the darkness outside the window. "Ohmigawd," she stood up quickly, "I didn�t realize ... I should go." She didn�t really know why she suddenly felt the need to leave, she just knew she did. She started for the door before he could catch her.

"Alexa," She stopped when he said her name, but she didn�t turn around. AJ knew she was running for a reason. "Where are you going?" Alexa didn�t answer. "Don�t go because you�re scared, �Lexa. Your instinct brought you here for a reason." He took a step toward her before she turned to face him.

"I don�t know why I came." Her words were a whisper. She did know. She wanted to be near him. She needed him to comfort her. But those feelings went against her rational side, the side that said she wanted to keep some distance, to keep herself from getting hurt. She sighed when he touched her face, running his hand slowly across her cheek, then down the side of her neck, gradually pulling her closer to him.

He waited until she finally lifted her eyes to meet his before speaking, his voice hushed. "Alexa, I don�t want you to go." His hand threaded through her hair as he said the words, and then he waited for her to respond. When she didn�t, he pushed her back a step to look into her eyes, "You came back to me, �Lexa. Don�t run again. It�s not fair."

Alexa sighed, and shut her eyes against looking into his. She couldn�t deny what he said; she knew she was exactly where she wanted to be. She just wondered when her heart had decided that, and why it hadn�t informed her brain. She re-opened her eyes slowly.

"I missed you, Alexa." His hands cupped her face and he leaned his forehead to hers, still waiting for her to say something.

It took Alexa a minute. She wanted to just enjoy how close they were, not think about anything. There was too much to think about, once the thinking started. "I missed you, too." She said it simply, offering nothing more.

AJ wanted to talk, wanted to ask her everything he was thinking about, but he kept hearing Taylor�s voice reminding him not to push her. He watched her face, trying to judge what to say or not to say, watching her eyes search his own face. He kissed her instead of speaking, until she pulled away from him.

"I just... I need a minute," her voice was barely a whisper, and she caught the confusion mingled with frustration on AJ�s face as she turned away. She knew it was stupid. She was where she should be, but suddenly all the thoughts that had kept her away until then had rushed at her again. And she had this habit of thinking too much.

"Alexa, don�t think."

Alexa smiled a little at how well he knew her. She listened as he paced a few steps and then stopped directly behind her, so close that she could feel that he was there, but he didn�t touch her.

"Okay, I give up. What are you thinking about?"

She wrapped her arms around herself, and sighed. She felt his hand rest on her shoulder. "You."

"Good topic." His hand slid down her arm, and he wrapped his arms over hers. Alexa leaned back into him.

"And me."

"Even better." He leaned on her shoulder, resting his cheek against hers. Alexa reached one hand up to touch his face.

"When did this go from that �one-no-lifetime-commitment� date, to whatever this is?" She was still staring straight ahead of her.

AJ didn�t answer right away, and it made Alexa nervous. "I didn�t even mean it when I said that, �Lexa." He turned her around to face him, and tipped her face to look directly into her eyes, "Do you think I would have spent so much time convincing you, for a one-time no commitment thing?" He kissed her softly before she answered.

"I should have known." She closed her eyes momentarily, "So, what now?" Alexa knew what she wanted, she thought she knew him but where that led she didn�t know.

AJ shrugged, "I know what I want, baby, but it�s all up to you now." He kissed her again, making it last longer. Her arms reached up to circle his neck and she smiled at him.

"This is what I want."

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