Syrian Jokes!

At the Syrian checkpoint: A Lebanese man was driving when he came to a Syrian Military checkpoint, staffed by a brigade that consisted of young Syrian soldiers. One young soldier pointed his rifle into this man�s window and asked to see his papers. Then he asked him to get out of the car and open his trunk. Realizing that if the soldier saw what was in his trunk, he would be arrested; so, he told the young Syrian soldier that if he took his foot off the brakes, his car would roll down the hill. He instructed the soldier to get in the car and step on the brakes while the man opened the trunk. The man opened the trunk and yelled to the soldier sitting in the car that there was nothing suspicious there. The young Syrian was satisfied and then thanked the Lebanese man and sent him on his way!

A Syrian sees lot of guys running on the highway. He asks a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are doing.
The bystander: �A Marathon race is going on.�
Syrian: �What do they get from that?�
Bystander: �Who ever wins, will get a prize.�
Syrian: �Then why are the others running?!�

Why can�t Syrians dial 911?
They can�t find the eleven on the phone.

A Syrian and a Lebanese were walking outside when the Lebanese said: �OH, LOOK AT THE DEAD BIRD.�
The Syrian looked towards the sky and said: �Where, Where?�

What do smart Syrians and UFO�s have in common?
You may hear about them, but you never see them.

Syrian: �I was born in the Lebanon.�
Lebanese: �Oh really, what part?�
Syrian: �All of me, you silly Lebanese!�

A girl asked her Syrian boy friend: �Habibi, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?�
�Sure,� replied the Syrian: �What�s your phone number?�

Syrian is for the 1st. time buying a colour TV.
�Do you have colour TV�s?�
�Sure.�
�Give me a green one.�

A Syrian In Beirut: A Syrian went to Lebanon to go shopping. He went to a store and said: �Do you have �Beirut-boo�?� The clerk replied: �Sorry, I�ve never heard of it.� So he went into a second store and asked: �Do you have �Beirut-boo�?� The clerk again replied: �Sorry, I've never heard of it.� The Syrian said �What do you mean you never heard of it? How do you wash your hair in Lebanon? In Syria we have �Cham-boo�!!!�

A Little Boy in a Bus: A little Lebanese kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the Syrian driver and starts yelling: �If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.� The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with: �If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.� The kid goes on with several animals until the Syrian bus driver gets so angry and yells at the kid: �What if your dad was gay and your mom was a bitch?!� The Lebanese kid smiles and says: �I would be a Syrian bus driver.�

Syrians on the Moon?
Q: What do you call 1 Syrian on the moon?
A: Problem.
Q: What do you call 10 Syrians on the moon?
A: Problem.
Q: What do you call a 100 Syrians on the moon?
A: Problem.
Q: What do you call all the Syrians on the moon?
A: � Problem Solved!

The Lebanese and Syrians fighting Israel:
The Lebanese and Syrian armies were united to fight the invading Israeli soldiers. The Syrian army leader wonders why his Lebanese counterpart is wearing a red army suit while the conventional one is green. He asks the Lebanese army leader: �Why are you wearing this red suit?� The Lebanese army leader replies: �Because if I get wounded and bleed, I don�t won�t my army to see my injury and surrender.� The Syrian army leader says: �You�re so courageous, just wait I�ll now go get a brown underpants and trousers so that if I shit in my pants my army��

Cross Border Interaction: An Israeli and a Syrian are standing at the border. The Israeli says to the Syrian: �In Israel we've got running water, we've got electricity, and we've got working telephones.� The Syrian, wanting to brag, replies: �Well in Syria, we've got a �Lion� � (referring to his president: Asad).�
The Israeli is perplexed. He scratches his head and goes away. The next day the scenario is repeated. On the third day, the Israeli comes back and brags: �Now we have an �Asad� too!�
The Syrian, thinking that the Israelis have managed to get hold of another member of the Asad family, responds: �Now you won�t have running water, electricity or working telephones neither.�

On the occasion of the surprising visit by the president of Syria to Lebanon, the Syrian hacker community has been active on the internet level and produced an up-to-the-minute VIRUS for disabling any attempt to disclose the secrecy of the visit on the internet before the time destined. Therefore, beware there is a new Syrian Internet Virus Circulating. If you receive an email that says the following, you may be at risk:
Dear Receiver,
You have just received a Syrian virus. Since we are so technologically un-advanced, stupid, losers, useless, idiots, and fucked-up in Syria, this is a MANUAL VIRUS. Please delete all the files on your hard disks yourself and forward this email to everyone you know. Thank you for you cooperation.

A Syrian went into a Lebanese underwear shop and asked the owner: �How much are the undergarments?� The owner replied: �The undershirts are 5000 LBP and the underwear is 7000 LBP.� The Syrian didn�t buy anything; he just said ok and left. The next day the same Syrian went to the same shop and asked the same owner the same question. The owner gave him the same answer. The Syrian said ok and left. The Syrian repeated this for two more days and on the fifth day he walked in and asked: �How much are your undergarments?� This time the owner replied: �The undershirts are 7500 LBP and the underwear is 2000 LBP.� The Syrian said: �How come you raised the undershirt and lowered the underwear?� The owner replied, �So that you can kiss my ass.�

FLASH !!!!:
A big earthquake took place in Syria �
1,000,000 persons have been killed �
USA offered to send money.
France offered to send food.
Canada offered to send clothes.
Lebanon offered to send 1�000�000 Syrians for replacement!!

Married Syrian Couple:
A married Syrian couple walking in the park in Lebanon notice a young Lebanese man and woman sitting on a bench and passionately kissing.
�Why don't you do that?� says the Syrian woman to her Syrian husband.
�Honey,� replies her Syrian husband: �I don't even know that Lebanese woman!�

The following is a true story, and it is just too funny not to share. Excerpted from an article which appeared in the London Times about a bank robbery on March 2/2002:
Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The Syrian robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash and valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes scattered throughout the bank.
The Syrian robbers cracked the first safe�s combination, and inside they found only a bowl of vanilla pudding. As recorded on the bank�s audiotape system, one Syrian robber said� �At least we�ll have a bit to eat.�
The Syrian robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all the safes were opened. They found not one British pound, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding.
Disappointed, the Syrian robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.
The newspaper headline read: GREAT BRITAIN�S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED BY SYRIAN STUDENTS STUDYING IN ENGLAND!!!

Five Lebanese guys in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Syrian border. The Syrian Customs Agent stops them and tells them: �It's illegal to put five people in a Quattro.�
�What do you mean it�s illegal?� asked the Lebanese men.
�Quattro means four,� replies the Syrian official.
�Quattro is just the name of the automobile,� the Lebanese men retort disbelievingly.
�Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry 5 persons.�
�You can�t pull that one on me,� replies the Syrian Customs Agent. �Quattro means four. You have five people in your car and you are therefore breaking the law.�
The Lebanese men reply angrily, �You idiot! Call your supervisor over. We want to speak to someone with more intelligence!�
�Sorry,� responds the Syrian official: �He can�t come. He�s busy with two guys in a Fiat Uno!�

Two Syrians are out driving, and the driver tells the other Syrian to look out for cops - especially cops with their lights on. After they�ve been driving for a while, the driver asks the other Syrian if he�s seen any cops.
�Yes,� says the other Syrian.
�Are their lights on?� asks the driver.
The other Syrian thinks for a while, then he says: �Yes� No� Yes� No� Yes� No� Yes� No�. Yes� No��

A Syrian returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his father. �Dad, today we had a Spelling Class - all the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Syrian?�
�No son, that�s because you are intelligent.�
The son seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question: �Dad today we had Math Class - all the other kids could only count from 1 till 10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am Syrian?�
�No son that�s because you are intelligent,� replies his father.
Happy with the answer, the son asks another question to his father: �Dad today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was at least twice their height. Is that because I am Syrian?�
The father replies: �No son, that�s because you are 31 years old.�

A Syrian General is dead:
A Syrian army general serving in Lebanon died in a fire and was burnt pretty badly so the Syrian Government needed someone to identify the body. His two military-service bodyguards were sent for to identify the body. The 1st bodyguard went in first and the mortician pulled back the cover-sheet, and the bodyguard said: �He�s burnt pretty bad. Roll him over.� So the mortician rolled him over. The 1st bodyguard looked and said: �No, it isn�t our General.� The mortician thought that was rather strange and then he brought the 2nd bodyguard in to identify the body. The 2nd bodyguard took a look at the dead body and said: �Yes, he�s burnt real bad, turn him around.�
The mortician turned the dead body around and 2nd bodyguard looked down at the rear and said: �No, it isn�t our
General.�
The mortician asked: �How can you tell?� The bodyguard replied: �Well, our General had 2 assholes.�
�What!!! He had 2 assholes???� said the mortician.
�Yes, everyone knew he had 2 assholes.� Every time we 3 went into a town in Lebanon, the people would say: �Here comes a Syrian general with his 2 assholes!�

Two little boys, a Lebanese and a Syrian, were engaging in the tradition of a verbal battle like little boys all over the world�
Lebanese: �My father is better than your father!�
Syrian: �No, he's not!�
Lebanese: �My brother is better than your brother!�
Syrian: �He is not! He is not!!!�
Lebanese: �My mother is better than your mother!�
A long pause followed�
�Well, I guess you got me there. I hear my father say the same thing every day.�

The Lottery Paper:
A Syrian general serving in Lebanon bought a lottery-paper before he left back to his country. Two days later he sends one of his soldiers back to Lebanon to check if his lottery-paper has won. The Syrian soldier took the ticket and went to Lebanon and it's not long until he sees a boy selling lottery-papers. He tells the boy: �come here you brat, and tell me if this paper has won.� The Lebanese kid could see that the soldier is Syrian, so he tells him: �No, your lottery-paper has not won; instead it lost 10'000 LBP.�
The Syrian soldier feels embarrassed and asks the boy if he's definitely certain. The boy replies: �Yes I�m sure, and you�d better pay me or else you will be jailed and fined for a greater sum.�
The Syrian soldier is stupefied and thinks he had better pay the boy, and so he does and returns back to Syria to report to his General.
�General,� says the soldier, �I�ve got some bad news, the lottery-paper you sent me to Lebanon to exchange has lost 10�000 LBP, and I had to pay (the lottery-boy) the due amount or else you�d have been jailed and penalised for a greater sum.�
The General, with a satisfactory look at his face, says: "It�s smart what you have done, but thank God that we didn�t lose the 'Big Prize' or the 50 million LBP!"

The Syrian president is on a tour all over Syria and is supposed to be landing in Homs soon. The Homsian Army-Head gets 21 of his finest soldiers to fire the 21 �Welcome-Shots�. He starts instructing the soldiers how to do that when he is interrupted by one of the chosen soldiers: �Sir, I don�t understand why we have to waste the other 20 bullets; I can shot dead the president in 1 clear-open shot.�

A Syrian army unit of 3 soldiers serving under the same Commander were attending a check-point when one soldier
said: �Since it is a holiday today let's return home to our wives.
We can leave the check-point unmanned and the Commander will never know about it.�
The 3 agree to leave. The 1st soldier goes home and spends some quality time with his wife.
The 2nd goes to a bar because his wife was really ugly and he thought it is unwise to spend his extra free-time with her.
The 3rd soldier decides to return home to his beautiful wife.
He arrives home and finds his Commander lying in his bed having sex with his wife, so he quietly and quickly sneaks out of the house without being noticed and returns to attending the check-point.
The next morning one of the soldiers says: �That was fun; we should do it again whenever there�s another holiday.�
�No way,� says the 3rd soldier: �I almost got caught yesterday.�

The Syrian Refugees:
A ship filled with illegal Syrian, Iraqi, & Palestinian refugees, heading to Europe, hits a rock and starts to sink rapidly. There was only one safety-boat, so the Iraqis said:
�Save the women and children first.�
�Fuck the women and children,� replied the Palestinians.
�Do you think we have time?� answered the Syrians.

Q 1: Why should Lebanese keep Syrians on the job 7 days a week?

A: So you don�t have to retrain them every Monday.

Q 2: What do you call a Syrian with � a brain?

A: Gifted.

Q 3: What happened to the Syrian terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?

A: He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.

Q 4: Why don�t civilian Syrians drive General Motors cars?

A: They think they are only for the Army!

Q 5: Why did a Syrian in Lebanon take the number 10 bus two times?

A: Because he missed the number 20 bus!

Q 6: What thoughts do Syrians have after reading these jokes?

A: None, as usual, and most likely they didn't understand them.

3 Syrians & the Train Ticket:
Three Lebanese and three Syrians were travelling in Turkey by train. At the station, the three Syrians each bought tickets and watched as the three Lebanese bought only one ticket.
�How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?� asked a Syrian.
�Watch and you'll see,� answered a Lebanese. They all boarded the train. The Syrians took their respective seats, but the three Lebanese all crammed into a restroom-closet and closed the door behind them. Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around collecting tickets. He knocked on the restroom door and said, �Ticket, please.�
The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The conductor took it and moved on.
The Syrians saw this and agreed it was a quite clever idea. So, on the return trip, the Syrians agreed to copy the Lebanese and save some money. When they got to the station, they bought a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Lebanese didn't buy a ticket at all.
�How are you going to ride without a ticket?� said one perplexed Syrian.
�Watch and you'll see,� answered a Lebanese. When they boarded the train, the three Syrian crammed into a restroom-closet and the three Lebanese crammed into another one nearby. The train departed� Shortly afterwards, one of the Lebanese left his restroom and walked over to the restroom where the Syrians were hiding. He knocked on the door and said, �Ticket, please.�

A Syrian Visiting Lebanon:
A Syrian visiting Lebanon for the 1st time wanted to go to Beirut, but he didn't know the route. So he asked a police officer for directions: �Excuse me, officer, how do I get to Beirut?�
The officer replied: �Wait here at this bus stop for the number 26 bus. It'll take you right there.�
The Syrian thanked the officer, who then left to his recess-break. Three hours later the same police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the Syrian is still waiting at the same bus stop.
The police officer came near him and said: �Excuse me, but to get to the capital, Beirut, I said to wait here for the number 26 bus, and that was three hours ago! Why are you still waiting?�
The Syrian replied: �Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now, the 20th bus just went by!�

A Syrian driving in US:
A Syrian living in the US had just gotten a new car and was out for a drive when he cut the road to and pissed off a truck-driver by his Syrian driving skills. The truck driver motioned for him to pull over.
When the Syrian did, the truck-driver got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the road and told the Syrian to stand in the circle and not move his ass. The mad-angry truck driver then went to the Syrian's car and cut up his leather seats.
When the truck-driver turned around, he saw a slight smile on the Syrian�s face, so he said: �Oh you think that's funny. Watch this.� The truck-driver gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in the Syrian�s car.
But, when he turns and looks at the Syrian he sees that he is smiling. The truck-driver gets really mad now, so he gets his knife out and slices all the tires.
But the Syrian is now laughing. The truck driver is really starting to lose it; anyway, he goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on the Syrian�s car and sets it on fire. He turns around and the Syrian is laughing so hard he is about to fall down.
�What�s so funny?� The angry truck-driver asked the Syrian.
The Syrian replied: �When you weren't looking I stepped outside the circle 5 times.

Fish-heads:
A high-class Syrian in Lebanon goes to a grocery store to buy some foodstuff, and there he hears that the owner is one of the smartest fishermen in Lebanon.
Wanting to be a smart guy himself, the Syrian asks: �Tell me, Sir, what makes you so smart?�
�I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone,� the owner replies, lowering his voice so that the other shoppers won�t hear. �But since your country is a good and faithful ally of ours, I'll let you know: �Fish-heads,� you eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant.�
�You sell them here?� the Syrian asks.
�Only 8�000 L.L apiece,� replies the owner.
The Syrian buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter.
�You didn�t eat enough,� says the owner. So, the Syrian goes home with 25 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he�s really angry.
�Hey, you,� he says, �You're selling me fish-heads for 8�000 L.L apiece when I just found out that I can buy the whole fish for less than 1�000 L.L. You�re ripping me off!�
�Noooooooo, can't you see?� says the owner. �You're getting smarter already.�
�Oh my God I really am, give me another 50 fish-heads!!!!!� replies the Syrian.

The President of Syria, plus Emile, and Chairman Arafat were on an aeroplane back to their countries after a meeting, when Emile said: �I�d like to drop a $100 bill out of the plane and make one person happy.�
The President of Syria thought for a moment, then replied: �I�d rather drop ten $10 bills out and make ten people happy.� To which Chairman Arafat said: �I would drop a hundred $1 bills out and make a hundred people happy.�
The Lebanese pilot then spoke up and said: �I�d like to drop all the 3 of you out and make millions and millions of people very happy!�

A Lebanese walks into a cafe, taps the man next to him, and says:
�Hey, do you want to hear a Syrian joke?�
The man says back to the Lebanese: �Look Mr, I�m Syrian. The man behind me is a 120-kg-professional wrestler and he is Syrian. The owner is Syrian. The man sitting over to your left is also Syrian.
Do you still want to tell that Syrian joke?�
The Lebanese is silent for a moment and then says: �No! I wouldn�t want to have to explain it five times.�

A young neatly-dressed Syrian was walking through a supermarket in Lebanon to pick up a few things when he noticed a beautiful Lebanese lady following him around.
Thinking nothing of her, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line but she stepped in front of him and said: �Pardon me, I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It�s just that you look just like my husband, who just died recently.�
�Oh sorry,� replied the Syrian. �Is there anything I can do for you?�
�Yes,� replied the Lebanese woman with tears in her eyes. �As I�m leaving, can you please say aloud: �good bye, my wife?� It would make me feel so much better, because he used to say it to me.�
�Sure,� answered the young neat Syrian, who felt important that the beautiful Lebanese lady compared him to her husband and started having dreams about her, and so as the Lebanese woman was leaving, he called out loudly: �Goodbye, my wife!�
Then, later as the Syrian stepped up to the checkout counter to pay his bill, he saw that his total was 150 L.B.P.
�How can that be?� the Syrian cried out angrily, �I only bought a few things!�
�I can see that,� replied the clerk. �But your beautiful wife said that you�d pay for her.�

Two Syrians are sitting in a Lebanese restaurant, when one says to the other: �See those two Lebanese men over there? I�m going over to them and ask them what they think of us, Syrians.�
So the Syrian walks up to the two Lebanese men sitting at the other end of the restaurant and asks them what they think of Syrians. One of the Lebanese gives the Syrian the finger, the middle finger.
The Syrian looks very happy and walks back to his friend.
�Well, what do they think of Syrians?� asks his friend.
�We�re still number one,� replies the Syrian.

A Syrian applying to a Lebanese university:
A Syrian applies to a Lebanese university and sits for the exam that consists of Yes/No type questions.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: Y for Heads, and N for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the Lebanese class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.
The exam supervisor, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
The Syrian says: �I finished the exam in half an hour. But I�m not going to finish rechecking my answers!�

The new Syrian Foreign Legion captain was assigned to a remote post in the desert. During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hidden up behind the �mess� tent. He asks the sergeant why the camel is kept there.
�Well, sir,� is the reply, �as you know, there are 250 men here and no women, and sir, sometimes the men have sex urges. That�s why we have the camel, sir.� The captain says, �I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about sex urges, so the camel can stay.�
About a month later, the Syrian Foreign Legion captain starts having a real problem with his own urges, and asks the sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a stool behind the camel, the captain stands on it, pulls down his pants and has sex with the camel. When he is done, he asks the sergeant, �is that how the men do it?�
�Uh, no sir,� the sergeant replies: �They usually just ride the camel into town where they find women!�

A Canadian, an Australian, and a Syrian are in a bar discussing the mental abilities of their wives.
The Canadian says, �You know my wife must be the most stupid woman in the world. She went to a supermarket sale and bought $900 worth of meat, and we don�t even have a freezer!�
The Australian says, �That�s nothing! My wife went out last week and bought a brand new $30,000 car, and she can�t even drive!�
Not to be out done, the Syrian says, �My wife is a lot dumber than that! Last week she left for a two week holiday in Beirut, I saw her pack 20 condoms! Hell, she doesn�t even HAVE a penis!�

A man was sitting on his balcony when his Syrian neighbour came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
He opened it and then slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house.
A little later the Syrian came out of his house again, went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again.
Angrily, back into the house he went. As the man was getting ready to leave the balcony, the Syrian came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed much harder than ever before.
Puzzled by his actions, the man asked the Syrian: �Is something wrong?�
To which the Syrian replied: �There certainly is!�
�My stupid computer keeps saying, You've Got Mail.�

In a hotel in Lebanon, a Lebanese was sitting quietly having breakfast: coffee, jam & bread. A Syrian tourist chewing a large chewing-gum settles next to him, and engages in the following conversation:
- The Syrian: �Do you, Lebanese, eat all the bread?�
- The Lebanese (in bad mood): �Yes.�
- The Syrian (after having made a large bubble with his chewing gum):
�Not us. In Syria, we just eat the interior part, and the outer parts of the bread are put in containers. We recycle them by making biscuits, which we then sell to the Lebanese.�
The Syrian has a small smile on the face, while the Lebanese listens in silence.
- The Syrian persists: �You eat jam with the bread?�
- The Lebanese: �Yes.�
- The Syrian (a large bubble bursts on his mouth, blows another one, and continues to chew):
�Not us. In Syria, we eat fresh fruits with our breakfasts. And we put the peels and the leftovers in a container, they are recycled by making jam and then sold to the Lebanese.�
- The Lebanese requires then: �You make love in Syria?�
- The Syrian: �Yeah of course, very often.� (says it with a broad smile and blows up his chewing gum)
- The Lebanese: �And what do you do with the used condoms?�
- The Syrian, chewing: �Well, like everyone else, we throw them away.�
- The Lebanese: �Not us. In Lebanon, after using our condoms, we recycle them in containers; we make chewing gum which are then sold to the Syrians.�

A Syrian goes to a Lebanese restaurant in Beirut. He asks the waiter the location of the washrooms.
The waiter points a section towards the end of the restaurant. The Syrian goes there and sees 2 doors. He stands there looking to the first door and then to the second door. He stays there looking to these doors back and forth for 10 minutes, while people go in and come out. Finally the waiter comes and asks the Syrian man:
�Is there a problem sir?�
Syrian: �Well, one of the doors is for people from Damascus (Dames), and the other from Homs (Hommes). I am from Aleppo, so I don't know where to enter?�

Man 1: �Hey how did the Syrian helicopter fall?�
Man 2: �The general felt cold, so he turned off the air-fan.�

Why do Syrians die if their ship�s engine fail to operate?
�Because they get out of the ship to push it.�

Abou Steif got himself a brand new Ferrari after winning the regional lottery. He grabs the car keys and takes off driving like a maniac to Syria, hoping to show off his car. By the time he gets to Syria, he's driving at 300Km/hour. He slams a wall at high speed...
People rush to help him, as he screams out in pain. His limbs are all over the place. He screams asking for a Lebanese ambulance only, and refusing to go to a Syrian hospital.
And so people get him a Lebanese ambulance. The emergency ambulance team starts picking up his limbs from the street, put him in the ambulance and rush to Lebanon. As they're on the way, Abu Steif screams out: "Ayreh bi souriyya!!"
They hush him, hoping no one heard, but he keeps on screaming: "Wlak ayreh bi souriyya!!!"
They get him to the hospital and the doctor starts stitching his limbs to his body.... The doctor gets to a point where he looks between Abu Steif's legs and goes: "Give me his dick."
And abu steif screams again: "Wlak kess e'mkoun eltellkoun ayreh bi souriyya!!!!"

A Lebanese, a Syrian and a Turk are all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled bottle of booze when, all of a sudden, Saudi police rush in and arrest them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they are all sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they are able to successfully appeal their sentences down to life imprisonment.
By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh announced: �It's my 8th wife�s birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping.�
The Turk was first in line, he thought for a while and then said:
�Please tie a pillow to my back.�
This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done he had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.
The Syrian was next up. After watching the Turk in horror he said smugly: �Please fix two pillows to my back.�
But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again and the Syrian was soon led away whimpering loudly.
The Lebanese was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: �You are from a beautiful Country and your culture is one of the finest in the Arab world. For this, you may have two wishes!�
�Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness,� the Lebanese replied. �In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes.�
�Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave.� The Sheikh said with an admiring look on his face. �If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish, what is it to be?� the Sheikh asked.
�Tie the Syrian to my back.�

A Lebanese, a Syrian, and a black man are in a hospital. All of their wives are having a baby. After a while the doctor walks in and announces that all of their wives gave birth to healthy baby boys all within minutes of each other. The men start celebrating and congratulating each other, but then the doctor says, "But I have a bit of bad news". The men fall silent. He continues, "The nurse got confused and we don't know which boy belongs to whom". At that the Lebanese man runs into the maternity ward and grabs the black baby screaming, "This one is mine!" The doctor runs after him and says, "But sir, both you and your wife are white." The Lebanese man looks at him and replies, "Listen, one of the other two is Syrian, I am NOT taking any chances!"