Date Posted: 03/09/01
Subject: Can't sleep, must rant...Q: � � � � A little rant about girls and computer games. I play online all the time, usually shooters and RTS games. I rarely see girls there, but when they do show up, anything a guy says to her is considered a come-on. Well, that's probably because they are. Don't girls who play games know valuable they are? Game-guys LOVE game girls. Especially if they're good. ;-) The question I have here is, how do I encourage more girls to play games? And when I see them playing online, how can I approach them to get to know them without looking like a come-on? After all, I've made friends with other guys I met in games. I just think girls who game are cool.
� ---CZ, MI
A: � � � � First of all, CZ, I'd have to agree with you. Girls who game ARE cool. And I can say that, because I'm a girl, and I game. However, I'll have to say first of all that I don't game online, more's the pity. It's mostly the lack of equipment that's holding me back, and the fact that the friends I have who do game online are usually playing said game, and I never get a turn. But I digress: that's a subject for my own ranting. Still, whenever I can get near a game console I'm generally on one, be it Crazy Taxi, Soul Caliber, Final Fantasy (insert your favorite number here), or even good old Master of Magic (one of the best create-and-conquer PC games I've had the privilege of playing, despite its many bugs and the fact that it really belongs on the antique shelf); so I have the L33T SK1LZ to answer your question. (more or less.) Allow me to reiterate: girl gamers are cool.
� � � � But that isn't your question, I know. Let me ask you this: how do you deal with real girls? It shouldn't be that different, especially if they game. I'd think that'd make it a heck of a lot easier, actually. I mean, honestly...they're just people, right? I consulted a few people on the subject...one of them my best friend, another girl gamer, but who doesn't play online games, and a guy gamer friend of mine, who does. The girl said that there's basically no reason to treat them any different. Just talk to them as if they don't have mammary glands. If they're good gamers, who cares? My male friend said, and I quote: "Talk 'em up, gain their trust, and then trash 'em with your l33t skilz and ownz their @$$es." (This, for those of you who are confused, would be an example of what not to do.)
� � � � I am, of course, aware of the fact that a lot of girl gamers have a chip on the ol' shoulder (translation: are easily identified with words rhyming with "stitch"). Big surprise, boys: so do you. Don't get mad if I'm generalizing or stereotyping, because that's what I'm doing for the girls, too. (In fact, it's all I CAN do when you give me generalizations. So, let's have no nasty letters, shall we?) And let's not forget, some people (so I've been informed) actually do use online gaming as a place to "meet people." I use scare quotes because hacking on someone's game persona doesn't count. At all. Ever. So in a way, your fellow guy gamers have kinda screwed you over, CZ.
� � � � I think, really, that it comes down to this: Girl gamers want to be treated like regular people. So do! If they can't accept the fact that you're talking to them and not spewing curses and threats, well then, they're jaded. There's nothing that you can do except be decent, as you would to any other human being, and read Penny Arcade, Megatokyo, and Player Vs. Player comics for good examples of what constitues true geekdom and ineptitude concerning social graces.
� � � � There's just one more thing I'd like to point out on this subject. Don't assume that "Pinkttn" or "Jgglypff" or "PwrPuff" are automatically girls, and therefore, ok to gang up on in any way. I know perfectly decent guy gamers (before you ask: Yes, straight) who use names like that purposefully, so that it's much more infuriating when you're blown away by someone named "Fluffball" or "PrincessBrat" over and over and over. While I don't exactly condone that sort of activity...it's frickin' hilarious nonetheless.
� � � � CZ, I hope this answers your question. If you want actual "moves" or "lines" to grab her attention, you'll have to give me a play-by-play, bro.
--Leandra & Co.
Submitted: 03/01/01
Subject: So, now what?Q: � � � � My mom nags me all the time, and doesn't want to stop. She acts like I don't intend to do things that I am going to do, just not on *her* schedule. What the heck am I supposed to do?
� ---Mee, MI
A: � � � � Well, Mee, I want to know a few things: how often does it happen (never, I'm sure) that she tells you something, and you forget to do it until the next day? A lot of the time, parents pretty much assume that you're not listening anyway, or that you're exhibiting (prepare yourself, this is a $2 word) "passive-aggressiveness." In layman's terms, you're blowing her off. That might not be the case, but that's what it looks like...and really, isn't that the only thing they have to go on, here? Think about it. Your little brother/sister hates work. (I know, I know...the odds are astronomical.) You've just inadvertantly performed a double-somersault-loop-de-loop on their Hot Wheels collection, and want them to pick up after themselves. They say, "Ok," and sit there in front of the tv. Sound familiar? Yeah, it's a pain to jump up and grab the trash every time your mom bellows, but think about it this way--start doing things as soon as she says it, and after a while, she might not nag so badly. Or you could sit down and say, "Mom, when do you need this taken care of? I'm in the middle of something right now, but when I'm done, I'll wash the goldfish like you asked." This might work, and it might not. I'll tell you one thing for sure--blowing up never works, unless you like to make that vein in Ma's forehead throb.
--Leandra