Submitted: 04/21/01
Subject: So, there's this girl...
Q: � � � � Ok she is my best friend and I love her. I think she know I have feeling for her or that I like her at lest. But I just want what is best for her dont want to screw up what we have. I dont want to hurt her. I dont care what happens to me as long a she is happy. And now she has a boyfriend that I hear that he talks crap about her behind her back. But I dont know if it is true. So should I tell her or wait for her to ask me wich may never happen or trick her in to asking me or someting all to geather diffrent. I'm putting this in your hands you like the third sit like this iv vesited and this is the best one so far ok bye then.
� � --CD, ORA: � � � � Pal, you have one of the worst decisions to make. Your situation sucks.
� � � � That said, here's how to make it less disastrous. Before you do anything (let me repeat that, just in case) BEFORE you do ANYTHING (all right, I feel better now), you must be absolutely certain that he is indeed trashing her. Furthermore, you'll need as much evidence as you can muster up. No one likes to hear anything bad about their significant other, especially from someone they think might possibly even consider trying to break them up. You're in that position, my friend, and it sucks. But if it's true (and while I don't believe you about not caring what happens to you, because you're human, I understand what you're trying to say) that he's dragging her name through the mud, it must be stopped. And I'm afraid you'll have to be direct. But be gentle. Don't slam him right off, don't go to her while angry or upset. It's ok to be upset when you talk to her about it, but try for moderation. As soon as you storm up and start knocking the guy, she'll be suspicious of you. On the other hand, if you act totally nonchalant, she'll also be suspicious, and that's why this is so hard.
� � � � Try setting aside a time to talk to her, just you and her, but have other people as witnesses you could draw from. (They might be needed, but not necessarily.) It will be easier for her to hear this without anyone else around, because then she won't have to put up any fronts for anyone but you, and if you know her as well as you think you do, you can get around it.
� � � � Be direct, and let her know that you didn't want her to find out after the fact, or the hard way, and that you're only saying this because you want her to be aware of it so she can deal with it herself. Don't offer to get involved, but let her know that you're on her side. Again, don't badmouth him as much as possible. Express your anger and disgust at his behavior (because he's obviously a creep and lowlife--but don't tell her like that unless you want her to think you're the dirty b*****d she needs to beware of), but do it subtlely. (In the words of a professor of mine, "Try it, you might like it.")
� � � � Good luck, kiddo. May the Force be with you, and throw a monkey wrench in Lady Fortune's wheel. Here's one for the good guys. And I think I've run out of applicable cliches.
� ~~Leandra P.S.--Thanks for the compliment. You are hereby given a life membership. Congratulations.
~~LH
Submitted: 04/01/01
Subject: I'm Confused.
Q: � � � � Wherever I go, people want to hurt me. It's true that I've destroyed 2 cities, and my presence has demolished countless others, but I really am a hunter of peace! Moreover, 2 girls are always following me to try to keep me out of trouble (it can get really annoying sometimes). Plus I don't want them to get hurt. Now, I may be a legendary gunman, but I only use it to defend peace. I never kill. My friend Rem taught me to never do that. My other dilemma is this: Rem made me promise to protect my brother Knives, but he's the one who goes around killing people, and wants to kill me! What do I do?� � --Vash, SEEDS
A: � � � � Wow, Vash....you certainly have gotten yourself into something here, haven't you? Well, let's think about this, shall we?
1.) You've destroyed two cities.
� � � � Oh, sure, it may have been an accident--heck, it may have been one big misunderstanding, but I can tell you this: If my chia pet lost one sprout off of its darling little pottery tail, I might be a little bit annoyed. If something happened to make my lemur cage tip over, you can bet I'd start looking for answers. If my whole apartment complex went up in so many puffs of smoke, well....let us simply say that I might have to get a bit rowdy, as the saying is. One city destruction...that could happen to anyone! But two? Or "countless others"?Now, honestly, Vash...is there something else going on that you're not telling me, hmmmm?2.) Two girls keep following you around.
� � � � You probably demolished their collection of donuts and crushed their cat like so many horned rhinos. I know I would. Either that, or they think you're cute, and are now fans. Take your pick. (Just make sure you know which is which before you approach them. Else, the outcome might be....poor.)3.) You "never" kill.
� � � � Hah, I don't believe that for a moment. Not once? No gunsman of any sort, good or bad, can escape THAT. Accidents happen, after all, and I refuse to believe you've been that lucky.4.) Your brother is trying to give you the ol' heave-ho.
� � � � Are you sure he's not your father? Ha-ha, just kidding. But seriously, Vash...I think your answer will come in the form of some elaborate web of scheming, lies, and seduction. (not by you, of course. Maybe those girls...?) Well, all right...maybe not, but it'd be a good tv show.
� ~~Leandra