"If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?" -- author unknown (via ANA)
DICKSON'S GARDENING RULE: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant. (via DARIUS via THE WRITER'S PAGE)
"A true leader should be feared for the power he holds, and loved for the power he gives away." -- Jeff Alberts (via JEFF ALBERTS) [Editor's Note: or is it the other way around?]
"Solitude is an extraordinary thing to share with people." -- John Wyre of NEXUS (via CBC Radio)
"It's not the thing you fling, it's the fling itself." -- "Chris" on NORTHERN EXPOSURE (via John Lavey)
"Reading about one's failings in the daily papers is one of the priveleges of high office." -- Nelson Rockefeller (via The Las Vegas REVIEW JOURNAL)
"To have a counterculture, you have to have intact institutions to challenge." -- "Zonker" in DOONESBURY by Garry Trudeau
"She shoved her hair back, took a sip of wine and went on to talk about the life force, mayflies, the great chain of being and the nesting habits of birds. She was philosophical and she was nude. Somehow, everything she said made perfect sense." -- from BUDDING PROSPECTS by T.C. Boyle
"If that offends some members of the Flat Earth Society who don't want to consider any changes, so be it." -- Brian Burke (via THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT)
"Ever since man invented the wheel, he has been the confused victim of the miracles he has wrought." -- Dr. Laurence J. Peter in THE PETER PRESCRIPTION
"To err is human, but when the eraser wears out ahead of the pencil, you're overdoing it." -- J. Jenkins via THE PETER PRESCRIPTION
"Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish a reputation as an expert." -- Dr. Peter in THE PETER PRESCRIPTION
"A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary." -- Fred Allen via THE PETER PRESCRIPTION
"The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it." -- J. Agate via THE PETER PRESCRIPTION
"Whom the gods wish to destroy they first call promising." -- C. Connolly via THE PETER PRESCRIPTION
"The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another." -- J. Frank Dobie via THE PETER PRESCRIPTION
"It is better to be a nobody who accomplishes something than a somebody who accomplishes nothing." -- A. Pundit via THE PETER PRESCRIPTION
"An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup." -- H. Mencken via THE PETER PRESCRIPTION
"The gods are those who either have money or do not want it." -- L. Butler via THE PETER PRESCRIPTION
"He who trims himself to suit everybody will soon whittle himself away." -- R. Hull via THE PETER PRESCRITPION
"I'm lost, but I'm making record time!" -- a pilot somewhere over the Pacific via THE PETER PRESCRIPTION
"He flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions." -- Stephen Leacock via THE PETER PRESCRIPTION
"I have lived long enough to look carefully the second time into things I am most certain of the first time." -- J. Billings via THE PETER PRESCRIPTION
"Most of our so-called reasoning consists of finding arguments for going on believing as we already do." -- J.H. Robinson via THE PETER PRESCRIPTION
HARVARD LAW: Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well pleases. -- A.S. Sussman via THE PETER PRESCRIPTION
"Nothing is enough to the man for who enough is too little." -- Epicurus via THE PETER PRESCRIPTION
"The uncreative mind can spot the wrong answers, but it takes a creative mind to spot the wrong questions." -- A. Jay via THE PETER PRESCRIPTION
"To the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name knowledge." -- Ambrose Bierce in THE PETER PRESCRIPTION
"Aptitude tests show that you will succeed in a business where your father is boss." -- P. Seiler in THE PETER PRESCRIPTION
"The trouble with our age is all signposts and no destination." -- L. Kronenberger via THE PETER PRESCRIPTION
"The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down." -- Flip Wilson via THE PETER PRESCRIPTION
"I love it because it's trash." -- "Oscar the Grouch" on SESAME STREET
"The War on Drugs is lost. We can't even pretend to be winning any more. We're not even having decent skurmishes." -- Larry Campbell
"There are many ways to victimize people. One way is to convince them that they are victims." -- Karen Hwang via THE HUMANIST via THE UTNE READER
"From now on, we're all gonna know what it was like to live like a Venezuelan in 1977." -- Hunter S. Thompson in ANTHEM
"Welcome to Canada, home of one of the world's most discounted currencies." -- Archibald Mumbull
"If you look hard enough, you can always find nothing to do." -- folk saying via CBC RADIO (BASIC BLACK)
"It's called Yuppie in-breeding. That's why they're all retarded and wear the same clothes." -- "Jack Lucas" (Jeff Bridges) in THE FISHER KING
"It's been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues." -- Abraham Lincoln via TERMINAL CITY Magazine
"Who cannot like Barry White?" -- author unknown via a sign posted at UBC (Vancouver)
"Release the slacker beast within." -- via a T-shirt in Vancouver
"You've got to the top of the ladder and found it's against the wrong wall." -- Joseph Campbell in THIS BUSINESS OF THE GODS
�It�s so thrilling to be followed by such a handsome stud, someone who knows where a piston goes, a grease monkey with the magic touch when it comes to starting a girl�s engine.� -- �Gregory Wong� in THE RESURRECTION OF JOSEPH BOURNE by Jack Hodgins
�In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice, however, there is.� -- author unknown via The Chitlet
�It�s hard to have fun on the weekend when you�re dead.� -- GP Greenwood
�Freedom begins between the ears.� -- Edward Abbey via a t-shirt
�There are only the pursued, the pursuing, the busy and the tired.� -- �Nick� in THE GREAT GATSBY by F Scott Fitzgerald
�I try to keep my obsessive-compulsive disorder within profitable boundaries.� -- Warren Beatty via The Columbia Theatre
�It�s so great to find that one special person that you want to annoy for the rest of your life.� -- Rita Rudner via The Chitlet
�Being kind to your dog doesn�t make you a better painter.� -- Margaret Atwood via CBC Radio
�Don�t ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.� -- Robert Frost via The Chitlet
�My life has been one long descent into respectability.� -- Mandy Rice Davies via The Heroine�s Journey Workbook
�I�m not afraid of dying. I just don�t want to be there when it happens.� --- Woody Allen via Pennywise
�I�ve been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.� --- Lee Grant via The Chitlet
�What if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential?� -- Jane Wagner via The Chitlet
�Death is nature�s way of saying, �Your table�s ready�.� -- Robin Williams via The Chitlet
�At least left wing terrorists have a �look,� but the right wing terrorists don�t even know how to do it right. They just keep dressing like Patton.� -- John Waters via The Calgary Sun
�Cowards and fools are quick to use the word tasteless.� �- Mel Brooks via TALK Magazine
"It's easy being crazy. Try being me." -- "Jack Lucas" (Jeff Bridges) in THE FISHER KING
