Sad poem and Some Comedy!

A Daughter's Final Words



I Went to a party Mom
I remember what you said
You told me not to drink Mom
So I drank soda instead.

I felt really proud inside, Mom
The way you said I would
I didn't drink and drive Mom
Even though the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing Mom
I know you're always right
Now, the party's finally ending Mom
Everyone drives out of sight.

As I got into my car Mom
I knew I'd get home in one piece
Because of the way you raised me Mom
So responsible and so sweet.

I started to drive away Mom
But as I pulled onto the road
The other car didn't see me Mom
And it hit me like a load.

As I lie here on the pavement Mom
I hear the policemen say
The other guy is drunk Mom
And now I'm the one who'll pay.

I'm lying here dying Mom
I wish you could get here soon
How come this happened to me Mom
My life burst like a balloon.


There's blood all around me Mom
Most of it is mine
I hear the paramedics say Mom
I'll be dead in a short time.

I just wanted to tell you Mom
I swear I didn't drink
It was the others Mom
The others didn't think.

He didn't know where he was going Mom
He was probably at the same party as I
The only difference is, Mom
He drank and I will die.

Why do people drink Mom
It can ruin your whole life
I'm feeling sharp pains now Mom
Pains just like a knife

The guy who hit me is walking Mom
I don't think its fair
I'm lying here dying Mom
While all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry Mom
Tell daddy to be brave
And when I get to heaven Mom
Write "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.

Somebody should have told him Mom
Not to drink and drive
If only they had taken the time Mom
I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter Mom
I'm becoming very scared
Please don't cry for me Mom
Cause when I needed you, you were always there.

I have one last question Mom
Before I say goodbye
I didn't ever drink Mom
So why am I to die?

This is the end Mom
I wish I could look you in the eye
To say these final words Mom
I Love You...Goodbye.

Now for a liitle bit of comedy!

True Stories of Dumb Criminals:

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a
motor home parked on a
Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained
for. Police arrived at the
scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor
home near spilled sewage. A
police spokesman said that the man admitted to
trying to steal gasoline and
plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank
by mistake.

The owner of the vehicle declined to press
charges, saying it was the best
laugh he'd ever had.

A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and
mentioned that there was a car
phone in it. The policeman taking the report
called the phone and told the guy
that answered that he had read the ad in the
newspaper and wanted to buy the
car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was
arrested.

45 year old Amy Brasher was arrested in San
Antonio, Texas after a mechanic
reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana
were packed in the engine
compartment of the car which she had brought to
the mechanic for an oil
change. According to police, Brasher later said
that she didn't realize that
the mechanic would have to raise the hood to
change the oil.

David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in
Providence, R.I., after allegedly
knocking out an armored car driver and stealing
the closest four bags of
money. It turned out they contained $800 in
PENNIES, weighed 30 pounds each,
and slowed him to a stagger during his getaway so
that police officers easily
jumped him from behind.

Drug possession defendant Christopher Jansen, on
trial in March in Pontiac,
Michigan, said he had been searched without a
warrant. The prosecutor said
the officer didn't need a warrant because a
"bulge"in Christopher's jacket
could have been a gun.
Nonsense, said Christopher, who happened to be
wearing the same jacket that
day in court. He handed it over so the judge
could see it. The judge
discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and
laughed so hard he required a
five-minute recess to

Clever drug traffickers used a propane tanker
truck entering El Paso from
Mexico. They rigged it so propane gas would be
released from all of its
valves while the truck concealed 6,240 pounds of
marijuana. They were clever,
but not bright. They misspelled the name of the
gas company on the side of the
truck.

Oklahoma City...Dennis Newton was on trial for
the armed robbery of a
convenience store in a district court this week
when he fired his lawyer.
Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said
Newton, 47, was doing a fair job
of defending himself until the store manager
testified that Newton was the
robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of
lying and then said,"I
should've blown your [expletive] head off." The
defendant paused, then
quickly added, "-if I'd been the one that was
there." The jury took 20
minutes to convict Newton and recommended a 30
year sentence.

R.C. Gaitlin, 21, walked up to two patrol
officers who were showing their
squad car computer equipment to children in a
Detroit neighborhood. When he
asked how the system worked, the officer's asked
him for a piece of
identification. Gaitlin gave them his driver's
license, they entered it into
the computer, and moments later they arrested
Gaitlin because information on
the screen showed Gaitlin was wanted for a two
year old armed robbery in St.
Louis, Missouri.

A true story out of San Francisco: It seems a
man, wanting to rob a
downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch
and wrote "This iza stikkup.
Put all your muny in this bag."While standing in
line,waiting to give his note
to the teller, he began to worry that someone had
seen him write the note and
might call the police before he reached the teller
window. So he left the Bank
of America and crossed the street to Wells
Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he
handed his note to the Wells
Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his
spelling errors that he was
not the brightest light in the harbor, told him
that she could not accept his
stick up note because it was written on a Bank of
America deposit slip and
that he would either have to fill out a Wells
Fargo deposit slip or go back to
Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated,
the man said "Ok" and left. The Wells Fargo
teller then called the police
who arrested the man a few minutes later, as he
was waiting in line back at
the Bank of America.

Also from San Francisco: A motorist was
unknowingly caught in an automated
speed trap that measured his speed using radar and
photographed his car. He
later recieved in the mail a ticket for $40 and a
photo of his car. Instead
of payment, he sent the police department a
photograph of $40. Several days
later, he received a letter from the police that
contained another
picture...of handcuffs.

A man walked into a Burger King, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars.

Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.