Chapter Four, Phone Messages

 

Eve and Breanna ate a quick lunch at the restaurant before returning to their rooms to unpack. "Did you call your family, Eve?" Breanna shouted from her upstairs bedroom. "Yeah, and you don't need to shout. I'm right next door." Eve complained. "Oh sorry. I thought you were downstairs." Breanna said. "Eh, no problem. So, did you call your mom?" Eve asked as she helped Breanna hang up a few shirts . "Yeah, she said to tell you hi and for you not to do anything stupid." Breanna explained. "ME? Do something stupid?" Eve said in horror. Breanna could only laugh. "Yeah, you. She already knows that I will do something stupid. There's no need for her to waste her breath by telling me not to do something that I'm going to do anyway." Breanna joked. "You're right." Eve agreed. Breanna shot Eve a glare. "What??? I was kidding." Eve said laughing at her friend. "Ok, I think I have everything unpacked. Camcorder, camera, clothes, CDs, condoms, cosmetics. Perfect!" Breanna said as she took a step back to admire her nicely organized closet. "Yeah, but by tonight it'll be trashed." Eve said as she walked out of Breanna's room back into her own. "Eve? What do you want to do tonight?" Breanna yelled. "Nothing. I'm tired from the trip. Probably go downstairs dancing for an hour and then back up here to crash. You?" Eve asked. "Same! What time is it?" "About 5. Wanna start getting ready?" Eve asked. "Now? No, it's too early. I really should check my voicemail. I'll see what Christian had to say and maybe I'll call him back." Breanna explained. "You really should, B. Don't leave the guy hanging. He was totally in love with you. The least you could do is explain why you left the relationship. Explain that it wasn't his fault. I know you keep saying that he was too clingy, but maybe you could, I don't know, lie to him. Just to make him feel better. I saw him at school and he was totally crushed. I'm surprised he even went to school." Eve said. "Yeah, I know. You're right. It wasn't that he was too clingy," Breanna said as she wondered into Eve's room and sat on her bed watching Eve pick out an outfit for the evening. "He was also majorly depressed. It made him feel better when I was around but when I wasn't, he would constantly call, page, or email me. He only needed me around to make him feel better. Yeah, I know it sounds conceited, but that's how he was." Breanna said sadly as she played with the ring on her finger that Christian had given her on their one year anniversary. "I know, B. I don't mean to give you a hard time about Christian, it's just that I feel so bad for him. But you're right, he needed you around 24-7 and I'm surprised you stuck around an entire year. This?" Eve asked as she held up her favorite pink thin-strapped tank top. "That's cute. I stuck around because I thought that he would come out of his depression or something. I didn't realize that instead of taking medication he was using me. It was too much stress and I started feeling depressed myself. He was the first relationship that I had where I could actually stay committed. No, wear that with it." Breanna said pointing to a short black skirt hanging in Eve's closet. "These shoes?" Eve asked while holding up a pair of cute black sandals. "Yeah, that's gonna look great on you." Breanna smiled. "B, you like guys. Once they like you back, you freak and run. Christian comes along and he's perfect except for the depression. You live to help people. After people get passed that wall you put up they instantly like you and you want to help them. Only this time, I think you found someone who couldn't be helped. Don't beat yourself up over him. If he is depressed right now, it's not your fault. I'm truly sorry if I made you feel bad. I was only thinking about how he must have felt. I wasn't think about what it was doing to you." Eve said to her friend. Breanna was almost in tears. "I know. I just feel helpless when I can't help someone." "Breanna, he was a lost cause. You spent 14 months on him. It's time to move on." Eve told her friend. "I'm moving on. It's him you should be saying that to." Breanna yelled back at her friend as she walked back into her room.

"Hey Kev? Whatcha lookin' at?" Nick asked his friend. "Oh nothing. Maybe Brian was right. I just saw a girl get into the elevator. It looked like those girls from this afternoon. Oh, forget it. I'm wasting my time." Kevin said half to himself and half to Nick. "What you need, Kev my man, is the love of a good woman." Nick said in his best AJ impersonation. Kevin had to laugh. Nick was funny, but he may have had a point. "You're probably right. I've been working too hard. Studio, promotion, tour. Studio, promotion, tour. And in between all of that I've had a few dates here and there. Nothing serious." "What's wrong with that? You're still gettin' laid." Nick teased Kevin. "No, man, I'm serious. It has nothing to do with getting laid or not. Though, that is a bonus," Kevin said smiling as he rubbed his chin. "I would just like to have a nice relationship with a sweet, beautiful woman. A fun relationship. Someone that would keep my mind off of the harder things in life but also someone who could understand that my work is important to me and that I'm not always going to be around. Just someone who could trust me" Kevin explained to Nick as they walked towards the elevator. "Kev, I may be younger than you but I haven't found that yet. Naomi is going to castrate me when I call her later to explain that I'm not goin' home in two days. If you do find that kind of a woman, make sure she has a younger sister or somethin'." Nick said as he pushed the elevator button repeatedly. "Sure thing, Chaos!" Kevin said while leaning on the wall scanning people as they entered the hotel. The elevator doors opened and both guys casually walked in. "What are we doin' today? I would love to rest and play a few video games." Nick said. "We have rehearsal around 7, a radio interview at 9 and we're off to do what we want around 10." Kevin told Nick. "So, it's 5 now? I have two hours to kick Brian's ass with the new Play Station game." Nick said while rubbing his elbow. He fell on it during the previous weeks concert rehearsal and it wasn't finished healing. "More Play Station games?" Kevin said shaking his head in disbelief. "Your elbow still bothering you, Nicky?" Kevin asked. "Just a little. Nothing serious. I think it's healing fine. If it's still botherin' me next week I'll have a doc check it out when we get back home." Nick said while making a mental note to get it checked anyway. "Well, thanks for listening to me complain." Kevin said to Nick. Kevin had always considered Nick to be a little brother. He practically watched him grow into a man and now here they were discussing real life problems. It still blew Kevin away how time flew. "Yeah, no problem! That's what I'm here for. You've always helped me with my problems anyway." Nick said as he gave Kevin a quick, loose hug.

Breanna sat on the edge of her bed before grabbing her cellphone. She dialed her number and waited for the sign to enter her passcode. "You have two new messages" the operate stated. The first one was from Christian around 10:30 that morning. "Hi, Bree. I love you." "That was really weird" Breanna told herself. The next message was a little different. "Breanna, it's Mike. Um, how the fuck am I supposed to tell you this? Over the phone...." Mike mumbled. "Ok, I'll just say it. Christian killed himself this morning. I'm really sorry. I have no idea what to say to you. I'm not even sure if you're going to be checking your messages until you get back from vacation. If you need anything please call me. I know this is the worst thing you need to hear especially over Spring Break. I'm sorry Hun. I love you. Bye." Mike had been one of Breanna's best friends since grade school. Breanna thought it was a joke at first but knew that Mike never had a sick sense of humor before. For a while, it didn't sink in about what happened. She loved Christian but she was no longer in love with him. What she felt for him was different.

Tears slid down her cheek as she thought about him. "Eve, I'm going to take a bath, ok?" Breanna said barely loud enough for Eve to hear in her own room. "Yeah. I heard ya. Give a holler if you need anything. I'm probably gonna jump in the shower in a little bit." Eve yelled out. "Ok." Was all Breanna could say. She felt numb. She closed her bedroom door and turned on the water in the tub. She took off her clothes and slid into the hot water. She couldn't really cry. Tears slid down her face and the feeling of guilt overcame her body. "But he had been extremely depressed ever since I met him" Breanna tried to remind herself. "It's not my fault." She said as the tears fell off her chin and lightly splashed into the water. "This isn't going to mess up my weekend. Christian could have gotten help. He could have taken medication. How dare he use me as medication! I'm not a drug. I'm a god damned person!" Breanna said aloud to herself. She no longer felt guilty, but angry. Angry at herself for staying with Christian for so long, angry at Christian for using her, and angry at his family for not doing anything to help him. "Not this week! This is *my* week. I am going to have a fun time. I turn 21 tomorrow and I'm not going to remember this day as the day Christian killed himself because I wouldn't allow him to use me. I'm going to have fun and my best friend is going to be at my side. My world is not going to end." She told herself. Right at that very moment she realized that the feelings she had for Christian were not love. She felt sorry for the guy. She wanted to be the one to make it all better. But she couldn't. "Life goes on!" She sang to herself as she grabbed a towel and tossed it over her naked body. Just then, her phone rang. She dogged across her bedroom and grabbed the phone.

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