I was running a few days ago and managed to step in a pothole. It really hurt like hell, but I didn't think much of it then. It's starting to affect my running performance now, and I seem to have developed a small limp in my right leg for the time being. It's not very noticeable, especially under my baggy jeans, but I seem to unconsciously reduce the pressure put on that leg by compensating with my left. Too bad my right leg is the one that supplies me with most of my balance - this could be very weakening.

I just finished reading an hour of Demian. It was very thought pervoking. I've nearly finished the entire book again - reviewing for the test tomorrow. Certain concepts are jumping straight out at me. For example, on page 54 in my version of Demian, in the chapter "Beatrice", Hesse goes into talking about the daemon, which can be depicted as that which constitutes one's life - the innser self, the fate of that person. He talks about the rhythm of fate, about death and rebirth, all the typical themes of Hesse. Even though I have gone over these themes time and time again in other Hesse books such as Siddhartha and Steppenwolfe, I still managed to find them intriguing in Demian. I guess that's the power of a good author - motivational words.

I talked to my running coach, Cameron, about working out and the way a person should eat when he is training. He says I lack some of the necessary protein in my diet. Sometimes I wish there was more meat provided at my house, but my mom tries her best to feed me a balanced diet and it's not like I'm going to stand up and object to the food I'm served. I'm just happy to have anything. This lack of protein however does impare my ability to build muscle, to compete, to form a healthy teenage body. It's not that serious though . . . she actually feeds me very well: very balanced meals and such, it's just that we're not much of meat eaters, and I'm not much of a nut eater, and meat and nuts happen to be two of the best sources of protein. I rarely have anything other than cereal for breakfast, although tomorrow my mom will be cooking me eggs and toast - the eggs are a great source of protein. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about - maybe the issue isn't as serious as it seems. Either way, my eyes are tired of looking at this size 12 font and reading in general from that straight hour of reading, and I want to take a break from it all and just focus on something that moves. These stationary objects are starting to kill my sanity.

Things are going very well for me emotionally. Although at one point today I must say I had some shadow thoughts in my mind about my current emotional perdictaments. Perhaps that didn't make sense, I'm being vague. I need to do that though, I'm not ready to vent about the whole situation entirely. A part of me doesn't always feel like exposing certain parts of myself - those parts of me aren't always easily opened and revealed to others; they are difficult to express, to show, to relate to. I'm sure somewhere out there, someone else has thought this same thought before, has pondered this same concept, and felt the lonliness even in a time of full contentment that he finds unexplainable.

Coincidentially my mom just brought me a piece of cheese. I talked to her about protein earlier, and it obviously paid off. Life can be funny like that. I feel so full of irony. But I'm laughing out loud right now, so all is well.

Tomorrow is my birthday. My father and I are going to shave for my first time tonight. I did it. I put up with the public's garbage about shaving for years! But not only that, I didn't shave until my sweet 16!

This year is indeed going to be sweet. This last year has been the best year of my life. Just sitting here and reflecting back upon it - all the emotions, all the crushes, the pains - it was all so perfect, so meant to be. It's as though my fate was laid out in a way that was so pleasing to me that it is almost unconceivable!

I'm going to go eat dinner with my parents. Tomorrow, Merlin and hopefully Liz will be coming over to eat dinner and dessert with me for my birthday. I was going to go see the Matrix and get my license on my birthday, but it seems my parents were able to shift my wishes, and delay me seeing the Matrix until this weekend, and delay my receiving my license until June 6th - D-Day.

Instead of struggling to express my emotions, I'm just going to say them. I'm probably suffering from the most fatigue I ever have in my life, but at the same time I'm the happiest I have ever been. I feel so good right now, it's almost a dream! I turn 16 at 2:30 A.M. this morning, and my hours as a fifteen year old are numbered.

Gottes Zeit ist die allerbeste Zeit.

Take care my friends!

Take care my friends.

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