Birth Of An Ass-Hole

Considering the way my family life is, I have to depend on close friends to be my family support. I guess that that would be why I hold on to it so dearly. Like I mentioned on the first page, I feel I owe so much to my peoples out in the LA area. My DJ, Tempo, who has been my boy since 9th or 10th grade. The two times I ditched school, that cat was right there with me. My lil "sister" J-Bug; that's my heart. Her and I have been through A LOT of bullshit over the years with shade tree record labels, bull-shit promoters, and consoling one another throughout more bad relationships than I could even count. I have a cat that is so close to me, we tell people we're cousins; when the fact is, we became friends because our mother's were best friends. He and his brother David, may he rest in peace, were the ones I played with when I wasn't at school. After 20 something years, and the fact that we don't see one another near as much as we use to, that bond is STILL there. Those people, and a few others, I can honestly say I would take a bullet for. They get into my ass when I do something stupid, and when I HAVE to do something stupid, they have my back, regardless. If they had an enemy, then I had an enemy. That worked both ways. I think people who live in the hood have a slightly better understanding what friendship is, because it is in the hood, when you don't have nothing or no one, and THEY don't have nothing or no one, you really begin to matter to each another. People often say that they could or would die for someone - but it is people from the hood that actually prove that everyday. Call it a "gang-banger" mentality. Not saying I condone the who set trippin thing, but that way of thinking goes beyond bloods, crips, and the whole Latin gangsta' thing. I can say I had guns pulled on me for protecting a friend. I would do that because I know without that friend, I have nothing as well. I know without that friend, I may as well be dead, as well.

Don't get it twisted; I ain't saying that only ghetto people and ALL ghetto people treat it with the same respect. I am just saying that there is a bigger number of people in the hood than people in upper middle class, and higher. There are a grip of shade trees in the hood though. A grip of people who will claim to be your friend and will stab you right in the back. Shade trees like that, is even worse in the hood than they are everyplace else. I've had more than a few of them coming in and out of my life. Having the REAL friends that I have, has made it quite the insult to me to have the shade trees and dirty macks saying that they would do the same things, but have fucked me right after. Now I will NEVER say I have always been the perfect friend. There are things that I have done that I am REALLY sorry for. The thing that makes me different though, after I done it once, I have NEVER and would NEVER do the shit again. Why? Because I wouldn't want it done to me. Hurting my friend, is like hurting myself. Doing something to hurt my friend, or just knowing that it will hurt my friend, and not having any reservations about the actions, because I don't understand the reasoning, doesn't make it hurt them any less.

I've run into a few people who don't know the ingredients of a friendship, but if you ask them, they will swear they do. U CANNOT have ANY kind of good relationship, be it friendship or otherwise WITHOUT the presence of RESPECT. You have to be able to respect one another's wishes - IF THEY ARE IN REASON; and mutual respect will keep it so it is ALWAYS in reason.
EMPATHY, which is the identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives. That doesn't mean you have to totally understand the reason why your friend, or what have you feel's a certain way, BUT you feel it just the same. That person's feelings are important to you. That person's feelings are JUST AS IMPORTANT to them as it is you. A REAL friend is "one" with you. A REAL friend stands beside you in things that go on in your life. If someone is fucking with your friend, you will jump in to stop it. And IF you are wrong, your friend will be friend enough to tell you later on. A REAL friend is going to want the best for you in every way, shape, or form. Something good happens for you, you sharing it with them, and vice versa. When things are bad, then your friend will be going through it right along with you, and vice versa.

A lot of people assume that friendship and what it entails, isn't indigenous to what a romantic relationship would be or have. Like I said in the previous paragraph, YOU NEED RESPECT AND EMPATHY. If your relationship with your mate don't have that, then consider it a pimp and his/her bitch. A lot of you people don't understand the basic mechanics of what a relationship with the same sex is (friend-wise), let alone a male/female one. If you don't understand the opposite sex, then all you are gonna have is problems. Now, me, myself, I am a classic text book male. I yearn to be the provider, I don't want to feel like my woman is taking care of me. Nowadays, women lose MADD respect for a man like that no matter how strong he comes with the other stuff. He can be attentive, he can be romantic, he can be caring and all that, but if he ain't supporting the woman, he is gonna feel like less in her eyes. In a lot of cases, he would be dead on correct. When I am going through shit and it has me down, or if I had a bad day,

I ain't gonna wanna talk about it right away and I HATE to be pressured to speak on it. Don't get it twisted, if I am having an argument with my girl, yes, I WILL, WITH A QUICKNESS speak on it right then and there. I feel that if something is buggin me, the ONLY way I am gonna get it to stop is to nip it in the bud right then and there. That's when the respect comes in. Respect me in the sense you won't do the shit anymore; because I would give you that same respect. I ain't talking crazy shit; I'm talkin about the little shit that can urk a mutha fucka. I will be my lady's protector. I will be her doctor (excuse the pun) to nurse her back to health, her masseuse when her muscles are sore, and her voice of reason when things get to be too rough for her in her life, The problem is, some of that stuff I don't feel right taking in return. I feel uncomfortable enough with asking a friend for something - much less a girlfriend. I don't expect her to protect me, but I expect to have my back like any GOOD friend would. I ain't mad at the nursing back to health, or the massage thing, but considering women are emotional, whereas men are logical, I can't see a woman being my voice of reason. There is a time for logic and a time for emotion. I found that me and my mate never feel one is needed over the other at the same time. A homeboy will feel me on it - almost each and every time; but not a female. A female can't understand the pride that is involved. Pride is a mutha fucka to a man. Pride is what made cats play "chicken" in their cars. Pride has started many a fight between cats. You could see one every weekend at your local night club. How often do you hear about women bar fighting? A woman has to let ME be a man as I treat her like a lady.