Le Cup Americain

Expect the worst. That way you are never disappointed. In the end, consistency won, and guess who was the only female gymnast to hit all 4 events? Yup, El Blobbo won yet another All-Around title at the All-American Cup. Her vault was the same ugly, twist-on Yurchenko kinda-full. She won vault. She actually had a swell Gienger on bars, in a set that lacked everything else, but the judges saw fit to tie her with Shannon Miller for first (9.937). Her beam was tiresome for first place (again tied with Shannon)and 9.95. No, we didn't see any difference. She actually showed off a full-in dismount on floor to tie with Stella "l'm too sexy" Umeh with 9.912. Yes, Stella. Not that television coverage actually showed Stella, but we have seen the routine before, and it is superior in every way imaginable. Now that Kim-crap is out of the way, let's talk about some real gymnasts. Henrietta Onodi showed up to be grossly underscored yet again, but at least got a chance to see Jarred. Her releases went above the bar for once, but we are sick, sick, sick of her floor set. Her double-turn in pseudo Y scale is one of the ugliest things on the planet. Maybe Eugenia Popa tutors. Shannon placed 3rd to Kim and Henrietta after a botched floor set. She also needs a new floor routine. Kosuge was there for 4th. Wheeee. The divine Maja Hristova, showed the Bulgarian ART of gymnastics, and true to form, really messed up bars for 9.437. The squat Hristova showed up most of the other competitors on floor (Stella exempted) with her strong double layout and Bulgarian choreography to "Pump Up the Volume" (9.850). Oh those eyes. Her beam (all on releve) was also superb for 9.837. We really enjoy this gymnast. After getting ripped off on vault and bars, the svelte Svetlana Kozlova figured out what was going on and promptly fell off beam. She knows how to compete American Cup. Stella went 3 for 4, (9.175 on beam) for 7th. Her floor was vintage Stella (9.912). The Brazilian, Luisa Parente, showed her experience and class onfloor, but lacked the firepower to challenge for a medal. These things are so predictable. After all, we are in America, and an American must win...No matter what. The judges tried so hard to keep Jarred Hanks and Scott Keswick within range of 150 lb Karbonenko. It was painfully obvious at times. Everyone noticed, even super flag waver Tim Daggett made comments about the scores of Karbonenko. Jarred Hanks face showed sheer bewilderment after some ofhis inflated scores were flashed. Surely, he didn't want to win like this. The likable Karbonenko, not wanting to make things difficult, obligingly fell off high bar in the final rotation to assure Hanks of a real first place. Should Jarred have been within 0.5 of Dmitri Karbonenko in the first place? Maybe. Scott needed his "American Cup 10" on rings, (with visible deductions) to tie Karbonenko for 2nd. How convenient. Both American guys seemed to understand what was going on. Who is this Luis Lopez character (4th AA). A Mexican gymnast actually hit? Television neglected to show any gymnasts that were not in the top 3. However, we got another cool Karolyi special.That makes what...l4, 15, 89? We've lost count. Some of the most exciting male gymnasts in the world (Felix Aguilera, Neil Thomas) were on hand, but were nowhere to be seen. Their artistry was badly missed. No thank you NBC.