Idiots of the NFL
You can please some of the people some of the time,
the others you just gotta piss off!

Last Updated 8/22/99

Great NFL career, loved by many, volunteered his time to
numerous football camps where he told kids to stay away from drugs,
and on his way to Hawaii to help coach his High School football team.
Dead at 39 after taking Ecstasy and injecting himself with Heroin.

Idiot
Nicky Sualua
Might have saved Tuinei's life by taking him to the Hospital.
Instead, the retard hoped they could sleep it off so as not to alert the media
of their drug use. The Cow organization says Sualua's release had nothing to
do with the Tuinei fiasco, What a load of crap!

Rumor confirmed, Jimmy Johnson is re-creating the Cowboys in Miami.

Conspiracy?
Browns are awarded an expansion team, Policy and Clark move to Ohio.
Many 49ers are taken in the expansion draft, Denise DeBartolo and her husband
are also in Ohio. John York alledges that the 49ers have been abusing the salary
cap. Carmen Policy clears his name by stating that there was no salary cap abuse
while he was in charge of the 49ers.
Theory: Policy leaves the 49ers, to unite with Denise DeBartolo in an attempt to
destroy the San Francisco 49ers and rebuild them in Cleveland.

What's with all the filthy emails? I am just pointing out the
fact that these guys are being paid millions of dollars for playing football
and are jeopardizing their careers by getting involved with drugs, alcohol, rape,
abuse, etc...

My theory on players who cause trouble.
Phillips gets drafted by the Rams who didn't and still don't have a snowballs
chance of making the playoffs. Disgruntled, he gets into so much trouble the
team cuts him. He gets picked up by the Dolphins who have a better chance, but
is competing for playing time and dislikes Jimmy Johnson. After a year with the
dragons, he is picked up by the Forty Niners and says he is excited to be with the
team he watched as a youngster. By causing trouble, Phillips got what he wanted,
a chance to start on a team that could go to the Super Bowl.

My theory: Say you are a Senior in College who is having a great season and is
projected to be drafted somewhere in the first round, between 1 and 5. You know
that the bottom feeders of the NFL control the first round draft picks, so you will
be drafted onto a 4-12 type team. However, if you get into a little trouble while
still in College, your stock will drop and you will be drafted onto an 8-8 type team.

Who saw the disgusted look on Ricky Williams face at the draft? He know's the Saints
and Colts are bottom feeders, but at least the Colts have a franchise quarterback.
Ricky Williams will end up like Barry Sanders; trapped on an 8-8 team.

Jim Druckenmiller
"You've gotta remember with the Druck in there, it's gonna be coming in fast and hard."
7/22/99 Cleared of all charges after testimony stated that the woman had
bruises and abrasions that are typical of rough sex, but could have been injured by
the string of a tampon she was wearing. Also, the woman chose to file charges after
being told that rape examinations cost $1,800 for people who do not file charges but
are free for women who take the case to prosecutors. Even you 49er haters ought to
smell a rat on this one.

Idiot
Lawrence Phillips
Phillips rap sheet is longer than his average carry.

Drug Dealer
Irving Spikes
What kind of dumb SOB, with a promising NFL career, would even think about
selling drugs?

Idiot
Daryl "Moose" Johnston
Gained a total of 17 yards on the ground in 1998. Why?
In every NFL stadium he goes to, the fans yell MOOSE as soon as he touches the
ball. DB's can immediately let the WR's go and support the run while every other
defender searches out number 48. The fans are responsible for his demise.

Clarification on the name "Packers" and the "Cheese" in Wisconsin.
"Packers" refers to meat packers and "Cheese" refers to the dairy industry.
Lets see how the folks in Wisconsin feel about being called Fudge Packers
when Keebler builds a factory in the area.

Idiots
John Elliott/Jason Fabini/Matt O'Dwyer
According to police, the 3 were drinking when Elliott went into the women's
bathroom, urinated and punched a women who was inside and O'Dwyer punched a
patron at the bar. When the officers saw the size of the men involved, a total
of 31 officers descended on the bar. The three were arrested and placed in a police
car. O'Dwyer then kicked out the window in the car door shattering glass which went
into the eyes of two officers.
Elliott: Charged with disorderly conduct, public lewdness, harassment
and assault was released on $10,000 bail.
Fabini: Charged with disorderly conduct and was released on $100 bail.
O'Dwyer: Charged with two counts of felony assault and released on $50,000 bail.
Elliott and O'dwyer are now being sued for $6.3 million by three police officers and
two people who were in the bar.

Idiot
Jason Peter
Arrested for driving 81 MPH in a 55 zone with a blood-alcohol content of .12
percent. Fined $100 and ordered to pay an additional $86 in court costs.
Case dismissed due to botched paperwork.

Idiot
Randy Moss
As expected, Moss let his instant fame go to his head. Recently he failed to
appear at a charity event in Florida. City Manager Larry Deetjen say's
"He doesn't act like a responsible adult."

Idiot
Wayne Fontes
Filing for disability after an accident 4 years ago. Fontes says he was unable
to coach to his fullest after he broke his leg when one of his Lions accidentally
knocked him down. According to his Lawyer, he has a degenerative disc condition in
his back. I think the pain comes from all those years when he had his head up his ass.

Idiot
John Mobley
Plead guilty to driving while impaired, careless driving, and driving
without a valid driver's license. Police say Mobley was traveling at least
50 mph over the posted limit and there was a strong odor of alcohol on
his breath.� Probation for one year and 24 hours' of community service.
$553 in fines and must undergo an alcohol evaluation.

Mobley termed his actions as "out of character,"
but he plead guilty to speeding on the same road in 1997.

Idiot
Anthony Simmons
Charged with fourth-degree assault but failed to appear for arraignment.
According to court documents he was acting on a dare by friends when he
grabbed Vernetta Williams throat with one hand and her crotch with his other.
Says Simmons: "She basically thought I said she looked like a man. She came up to me,
grabbed my hand, placed it between her legs, and said, 'Does that feel like a man?'

Idiot
Tremain Mack
Recently re-signed by the Bengals, Mack spent time in jail last season because of
drunken-driving arrests. He has been arrested six times in less than four years,
with at least three of the arrests related to alcohol.

Idiot
Leonard Little
Killed 47 year-old Susan Gutweiler while driving under the influence.
Sentenced to 90 days in jail, 4 years probation, 1,000 hours of community
service he must avoid alcohol and bars and is suspended for 8 games.

1 2 3 4 5 6