Army ii- Jelly Donuts

These diary entries are really far behind. The week of the army was when Chanukah started. We were probably one of the worst Chanukah presents given to these soldiers, anytime, anywhere. My group was never on time, (I suppose I should be saying "we," but I was regarded as one of the ones who kissed up.) they had no respect to the superiors, they never shut up, and they generally just didn't care.

Two times in particular, they showed their disgust for us, and both times involved Chanukah's sufganiot, or jelly donuts. However both times, I don't think that we were really that wrong. The first time was the first night of Chanukah. The first thing that they did at this "Chanukah party," was to make us sing. If you are not aware of this fact, Chanukah songs are mostly children's songs, and we felt like fools singing them. It was a bit like in Full Metal Jacket when the guy screams that it's Christmas, and forces them to sing and shout, "happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Jesus, happy birthday to you." I guess you have to see the movie.

The point of the matter is that we were forced to sing children songs. The three other Americans and I tried to remember the words to Adam Sandler's song, but couldn't come up with them. Then, they told us that they were going to give us all jelly donuts, which are THE food of Chanukah, but they could only buy one, and so they gave us a Hebrew word find, and the first one to finish would get the donut.

It doesn't matter that I was the first one done, we all felt like school kids, trying to race in a word find. After a few of the others turned in the sheets as well, one of the mefakaids (superiors) walks in with a box of jelly donuts, and said, "surprise."

Which would have been fine, they made us look like idiots and all, but then they brought this up for the next two days of how they were such great guys to have given us these $.75 treats. It's like I was back home.

That was the first Donut episode. The second came towards the end of the session. We were split up, and went to little exhibits where we were showed the traits we had learned from this time spent in the army.

There are fifteen kids in the group. For one of the exhibits, they tell us to just go into the room, where there are a couple jelly donuts on a plate, they shut the door after us, then came in a few moments later.

The mefakaid walks in to the room. "You didn't eat the donuts."

"Well, there's four donuts, and fifteen of us. If we took, most wouldn't get."

"Generally, there is Bamba there as well. (Bamba, if you are lucky enough not to have eaten this, is basically peanut butter covered Cheetos. Half of Israel loves this, while half has finally realized that they're just peanut butter covered Cheetos.) But, even if there was more, you still wouldn't have taken. You all have learned about Discipline." He picked up one of the donuts, tore off the side, and ate it slowly savoring it, and generally taunting us. "Now, we go on to the next part." He leaves the room, so pandemonium breaks out.

"I want some!"

"Hey, Give me a piece." We grab the donuts, and divide them up pretty fairly. He comes back in the room, we would find out later that he left to mess up his uniform for our next thing which was on order. We assumed that he was just taunting us with the donuts again, so we jumped on them.

He came back into the room, and was ready to kill. Apparently, in the twenty-seven straight weeks he'd been doing this seminar, we were the first group to have the "audacity" to take the donuts. I ask you, are we the only sane group, to have been given this test?

PS. Perhaps this is a lie, in another attempt at America bashing, I hope that it is. A Rabbi here said that there is anti-abortion bill up right now, that so as to give an alternative to abortion, give the mother a two week period past birth to legally abandon the child in a Spartan-Oedipus Rex-Roemulous and Roemus fashion. Please tell me this is incorrect. Please.

Get me outa here!!!

Wanna read the last one?

Wanna read the next one?

Take me back to the list

---

Michael Kadish

"All nuisances should be noosed." -- Vegard Aspelund.

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws