These are the Jokes, Folks II
(Easy Jokes)

There are three guys who are lost in the woods, and they come on to an old house. One of them suggests they ask the owner for a place to stay for the night. Inside they meet an old farmer, standard story here, old farmer, beautiful granddaughter, and they could stay and eat there, but they couldn't touch her.

That night the farmer gives the three of them the room at the end of the hall, completely opposite the girl. They go to lie down, and the first guy said, "My God that girl is gorgeous, I've got to sneak into that room." So, he tiptoes across the hall, but halfway there, there is a loud creak in the floor. Suddenly, he hears a shotgun being loaded from the direction of the farmer's room, which was n the middle of this hallway.

"Who's there?!?"

"Meow!" screams the guy and jumps back into his room. He comes back into the room panting. "Forget it guys, she is not worth it. That old man is crazy."

"Oh, you're just chicken. Besides, she was looking at me the whole dinner." So the second guy tries. Same creak in the floor.

Chkchk goes the shotgun. "Freeze, who's that?!?"

"Meow!" He jumps back to the room. "He was going to shoot me. Just forget the whole thing. Forget the whole thing."

"Oh, you two are so pathetic. That babe is as good as mine," says the third guy.

Creak!

Chkchk!

"Who's there?!?"

"It's your stupid cat."

Two guys are being chased by a bear. First guy turns to the other, and says, "Boy, I hope we can outrun that bear."

So, the other guy says, "Pshhhh, I just hope I can outrun you.

A man has been hired to paint a church. So, about halfway through, he realizes that he wasn't given enough paint, and so he adds water to it, thins it out, and keeps painting. When he gets to the fourth wall, he has barely a drop left, so cursing, he waters it down even more. When he finally finishes, he notices in horror that it is about to rain, and he starts screaming, asking God why he was doing this to him. The Abbot comes out, and asks what happened. So the painter explains it all to him, and the priest looks at him, and says, "Repaint and thin no more."

A man came home late one night, and his wife started screaming at him, "You've been seeing another women, haven't you?!?"

"No, no," says the man defending himself, "I've been at this amazing new bar. It's called the Golden Pub. It's an astounding place, everything is made out of gold. The glasses, the seats, the stirrers, the waitresses hair, everything, even the urinals."

"I don't believe you."

"Well, call 'em," says the man, whipping out a gold leafed business card, "here."

So, she calls them, "Hello, Golden Pub."

"Yes, my husband was telling me about you. Is it true everything in your tavern is really gold?"

"Just about, Ma'am."

"The glasses, the stirrers, the hair, the stools?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Even the urinals?"

"Hey, Charlie, I think we found the guy who went in your saxophone!"

Get me outa here!!!

Wanna read the last one?

Wanna read the next one?

Take me back to the list

---

Michael Kadish

I'm learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.

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