Résumé

In all probability, I won't be receiving the college credit that they said I would here. Well, duh. They've lied on just about everything else. So, instead it would appear that this year should be chalked up to work experience only, just to fatten my résumé. I could in fact say that I became leader of the bloody Kibbutz, since a potential employer is not likely to call Israel to confirm a résumé. But, let's be somewhat honest.

Selected and trimmed dates for international export. (I picked them off the trees, and took out the ones with worms in them.)

Assembled religious products for entire state of Israel. (Jews, on Sukkot, shake a lulav, which is in fact a palm tree branch. I collected the branches off the ground.)

Gathered research for an international economic-agricultural experiment. (I counted the avocados.)

Selecting, shipping, collecting and maintaining hand grenades. (OK, this is a bit of a stretch. In both Spanish and Hebrew, though, pomegranates are called hand grenades. I picked pomegranates.)

Helped set up an organically grown, hundred thousand dollar producing, organic garden. (I put the seeds down, when I worked in the green house.)

Helped specify products to specially fit the green houses of the aforementioned organic garden. (I drilled holes into cups.)

Repaired irrigation system of communal farm. (I spent an entire day moving the pipes, so that the tractor wouldn't roll over them.)

Collected test subjects and did field research for the Kibbtz's biogenics department. (The kibbutz really does have a serious department here. They produce bugs that are made to eat other bugs. My job was to collect tomato bugs for their research.)

Assembling and maintenance of temporary housing. (There's a holiday called Sukkot, wherein we eat in these tents. I helped to build three, and folded the tarps after the holiday, when I worked in the laundry.

Sterilization of utensils for the sanitization of the Kibbutz. (I worked in the dishwasher.)

Wanna give me a job?

Get me outa here!!!

Wanna read the last one?

Wanna read the next one?

Take me back to the list

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Michael Kadish
"But you're a doctor. You kill people every day." - Shallow Grave

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