Alan






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One of the nice things about the yeshiva was the lack of dress code. (Or, if there was one, I never followed it.) You would study in the synagogue in jeans and a T-shirt. So, I'm wearing exactly that, and studying with my study partner, this thirty year old, guy. He then notices my T-shirt.

"Camp Stone. I know that place."

"Really?"

"Yeah, a friend of mine worked there a couple years ago."

"Yeah, so did I."

"Well, he's the guy who set up Yosef with the job for Shalon L'dorot."

"Oh, well, I worked as a lifeguard at this camp two years ago. I'm guessing he wasn't there then."

"Two years ago...yeah, Alan was there two years ago..."

"Alan? Alan Macklin, the nature instructor?"

"You remember him?"

"I saved his daughter's life."

It was one of the more impressive things I had done in my life. I was a lifeguard at Camp Stone, I wasn't on duty because there were to be eight year old girls going into the lake. (^Surely you see why I wasn't permitted there at the time.^) I was even wearing jeans and a sweater, I don't think I had to work till later that day. Some of the parents had taken the kids into the canoes, the girl lifeguards hadn't shown up yet. I heard screaming from the parents, I turned and saw bubbles coming up from where the little girl was playing.

Fully clothed, I ran, jumped in off the dock, found her, and brought the girl out of the deep water. She was lucky, she was still crying, she wasn't under long enough to have any problems.

For my fifteen minutes, I was a hero.

So, later that week, Alan came for his weekly Thursday visit to the Yeshiva, and Ze'ev made a point to reintroduce us.

"Oh, you're the one who jumped in and..."

"Yeah."

"Well you wanna come over some Shabbas?"

"Uhm, yeah, sure." Well, no, not really. I mean, I hardly know this guy, I know his wife and kids are nice from working at camp, but I figured the whole thing would be so awkward. I would go in there, see the girl, who I guess would thank me, or something, that would last ten minutes, we'd spend another ten minutes or so talking about camp, another ten or so on Shalom L'dorot, and then...it would be extremely uncomfortable. "Some Shabbas I have free, sure."


Commercial break:

OK, we now return...

I thought I had avoided the issue rather well, and I thought it had blown over. Two weeks later, he comes over to me while I'm eating lunch. "So, you're coming over this week or next week?" I had forgotten, this was the guy who "practically hog-tied Yosef, and made him sign the contract.

"Gee, I've never been asked like that before." He took that the wrong way.

"OK, will you, pretty please come over this week or next week?"

"OK, next week, sure. Where do you live?"

"Shomron." ^Lovely.^ This is pre-Wye, but it still was close to Arab land, and not the safest place in the world.

The time came, and my problem was that I had almost no money, but he somehow managed to convince me to his home anyway.

There is a common science fiction theme wherein a loser, say Arthur Dent, discovers that there is a planet where he is considered a God, due to an action, or trait, that has been blown out of proportion.

We got to his home, and I remet Alan's six kids. (Well, remet five, and met the baby.) These kids practically exalted me. "I want to sit next to Michael!" "No I do." "you did last time!!!"

"Did you really jump in like a cowboy?" (I have no idea what that meant�)

"Do you actually remember that?"

"Well, Ayelet's been reminded quite a few times since then."

I like to work with kids, and I'm sure that some of the kids I worked with looked up to me, but this was insane. It's one thing for kids to want somebody to Listen! to their stories, or to want attention, or even to be around others they look up to, but these kids were screaming for my attention, and almost worshipped me.

At the end, by the time the weekend was over it was well passed scary. This was the ultimate alternate universe where I'm liked, looked up upon, and respected. I don't think I could ever go back.

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Michael Kadish

"Between the ages of 16 and 60 no man is completely sane except for the 10 minutes immediately following orgasm."-Dapper Dan Collins
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