Until recently, I predominately stayed quiet
about the government laws and their perception of things. How right
or wrong they are when they place a law into effect, and the aftermath.
After all, they are making the laws to better the land FOR the good of
it's citizens, right? I used to think so.
Problems arise when the tools created with the right
intentions, get mishandled. How a dishonest lawyer can manipulate the article,
title, section to make his client superior in a judges eyes. They
aren't always right. Yet some of these lawyers know how to bend the
rule to reach the right end of the spectrum, for them. And then you
have the judge, who thinks he may have made a good decision, but fails
to look far enough and be one-hundred percent sure of his verdict.
Of course a
well connected lawyer working on one's behalf, doesn't hurt either.
But understand that may not be the case in all situations.
There is supposed to be an American Dream
of sorts. One where a wife, kids, two story house, picket fence,
and a dog running behind it are all together. Did you notice the
one thing that is left out of that dream? It's called a daddy.
Today's society has forgotten about the father. The spiritual leader,
strength, disciplinarian, advisor, worker and the protector of the family.
Some daddies have left the scene without looking back. Some daddies
left the scene only to leave the wife they couldn't live with. And
sadly, some just left.
The Deadbeat Dad Syndrome has taken it's toll
on some people . . . some people like me. Because I couldn't live
with my ex-wife, suddenly made me a Deadbeat Dad. My question is
why?
It has become apparent that the father in
any divorce is wrong, at least in most of the court's eyes. If a
man and his wife separate, then the man has abandoned his family.
Not the two people just couldn't live together, the fault is his and his
to bare. The courts will be sure to enlighten him of his responsibilities
and insure a future without any luxuries and not much necessities either.
Suddenly one day, I found that "life is not
all that." A marriage of seven years to a person I didn't love was
a bad, bad thing. A wrong was done to both her and I and it needed
correcting because we were miserable. Hate was beginning to grow
and I can't stand the thought of hating anyone.
Two parents can have an equal income, yet
the absent parent pays the bill. I do. My income is approximately
$25,000.00 yearly. My bring home per two weeks is approximately $600.00.
Oh, I forgot the child support that is taken from my check before I see
it. That leaves me with $400.00. Four hundred dollars to live
on every two weeks. That is about $800.00 monthly. But I only
have one child with my ex. How can this be? I've questioned
and questioned and I still don't know. The thing is, I have another
child with my current wife, whom I am happily married to. He was
recently born and daycare costs more than she could make because she doesn't
have a college education. She wasn't working when we married, but
my ex hadn't finished me off in court yet either. This was, by the
way, the second time we had to face some sort of agreement.
The first agreement came when I (stupid me)
signed papers drawn up by her lawyer. At the time, I wanted to get
away from her as fast as I could. The papers seemed fine to me.
I just wanted to see my son everyday and we had agreed on what child support
would be paid. There was just something I didn't know. Alabama
has a thing called Rule 32. Now Rule 32 can be the non-custodial
parents worst nightmare. It states that you owe a percentage of the
child care bills. Reading between the lines you see it says you pay
a percentage of all her bills. Not the bills to take care of him,
but, the bills that take care of her too.
Isn't that special? The funny part is, she didn't care about
the money until I met someone new and she hadn't. Someone who loved
my firstborn son as much as anyone could love a child. Yet, she hated
my new wife. That hate would be enough for her to stop co-operating
with me and begin demanding that I pay the full amount that Rule 32 ordered,
plus the back child support for two years.
I thought, you're full of it. I've got every
canceled check and can prove to a judge that I've held up my end of the
bargain. I also thought no judge in his right mind and being fair
would ever award an amount of money that I couldn't pay. I was wrong
again.
I had one of the best lawyers in the state of Alabama.
He is a gentleman and a friend. Yet, the damage was already done.
I had sealed much of my fate when I signed a divorce paper that a lawyer
with my interests at heart, had not seen. It taught me one thing.
In a divorce, there is no honesty. A verbal agreement that was made
two years prior at the signing of the first divorce decree, was useless.
It's no fun when you are thrown into ruin, financially, and the person
you hate to see at all, is living like royalty on your livelihood and you
wonder where the money will come from to feed and clothe your family.
Just to give an example of how she needed the extra
money, before things started going down hill, she bought a 94 or 95 Camaro
Z28 (the exact model, I'm not sure). The money she needed from me
was to pay for a new car, not pay for daycare etc. In the newly revised
divorce under Rule 32, I pay her $200.00, bi-weekly and her car payment
may as well be figured into the formula, though the rule doesn't say that
in so many words, plus pay for insurance to cover the child. For
a year, my monthly average is about $601.66 for one child.
Now, tell me Rule 32 is fair. Rule 32 was the tool, my ex-wife used
to send me to bankruptcy, ruining my credit, and establishing a financial
situation where she buys my sons love rather than earning it like parents
are supposed to do. Some days he asks, "Why don't you ever buy me
toys?" We don't like to bad mouth her so we say, "Because, we give
mommy enough money to buy you toys, food, and clothes, that we don't have
money ourselves." That may sound bad, but it's TRUE. What else
can we do? He doesn't understand why we can't afford to buy him things,
yet he says she buys him at least one new $10.00 to $40.00 toy each week,
just to make him want to come home. This is each week we get him!
Now, tell me she needs the money. I find it sad she can only
buy his love rather than earn it, like parents should. He has asked
to go home sometimes when he's with us, but, only to play a game or with
a toy she's bought him. Not once has he ever asked to go home because
he misses her. If she really loved him, she wouldn't have tried to
destroy me at my expense, and his too.
My sons daycare costed approximately $260.00
a month when all this happened. He's in kindergarden now and I pay
his insurance. All she has to do is feed him. What is she paying
for? NOTHING!!!! I give her money, and she has it made.
God help her. The lies that came from her side, I guess she justified
some how. She was always a money hungry person, and I knew that,
I just didn't protect myself. I goofed and now my whole family pays
for it.
Hate was something I did for a long time.
Christ finally took that away, too. I don't like her, but I don't
hate her anymore. It took a long time, but God took that away.
Someday, the Alabama legislature will wonder what their infamous
Rule #32 has done. If they ever look and see, I hope they can live
with their actions. If you have any questions or comments, e-mail
me at [email protected]. Then be patient, I will respond.
Thanks for visiting my web-site and if you live in Alabama, if you want
to see Alabama's Rule
32, just click on the name. It may save you some trouble.
Please forgive me if I sound bitter. I just want to be treated fairly,
not railroaded into poverty. God bless.
CAN WE TALK?
POLITICALLY CORRECT
A GOOD JUDGE OF CHRISTMAS
YOU TELL ME
NEW NEWS
A SPECIAL PRAYER
Please come back soon and visit me. You can e-mail any comments to [email protected].