��� I would like to thank all who have signed my book and their encouraging comments.� I do want to especially thank the ladies who have signed and understand that the pages here are not "Bash Women" pages, but rather information designed to let people know that families are struggling because of the unfairness in our courts.� We worry about eating each week, getting clothes for our son and us.� We live from paycheck to paycheck and require help from our families to survive.� Otherwise, we'd lose our very existence as a family.� I also want to extend my prayers to all who suffer from the same kind of financial carnage the legislature has produced.� "We the people..." what happened to that?� God bless.

Lori Allen - 11/07/00 22:53:46 My Email:[email protected] Kids? Y/N: yes How many?: 2 daughters, 1 stepson Do you see them?: our daughters live with us, not allowed to see stepson Railroaded into poverty?: almost!! Love your kids?: very much! Have custody?: of our daughters

Comments: You have a wonderful page. It is time that someone said that just because a man leaves his wife, he hasn't left his family. Yes, you can not just forget about your first family, but, the second family deserves the same consideration. My husband's ex has tried to put us completely under so many times that I can't even count! And mostly it is because of me. She simply can't accept the fact that he has moved on with his life and now has a real marriage and she can't trap anyone else into marriage (She had a tubal - this was marriage #4 and child #4) so now she is alone. I hope things get better for you and would love to hear from you any time.

P J Daubeny - 11/07/00 09:43:06 My Email:[email protected] Kids? Y/N: yes.... Do you see them?: yes Railroaded into poverty?: at one time Love your kids?: yes Have custody?: of 2 ?????

Comments: Hello..I came upon your page with interest. I am writing you from Toronto, Canada and are about to open my own page based on my expereinces as a single parent as well. I have been divorced from my wife for 11 years now, she had the youngest boy with her and the 2 older are with me and have been for 10 and 6 yrs separately. I have horror stories of bankruptcy, loss of real estate, business.....peroids of time where visitation was not permitted, regardless of the court order......the loss of being there to watch, see and particiapte in my childrens growth. Finally..what prompted me to get involved here and open my own page (shortly),is the Canadian governments failure to recognize a single custodial father on our tax return, not only as a claim but automatically given to the mother where she does not have c stody. I will return to pick your page apart for information for my own page....is it possible where I could have links to yours for the readers curiosity. This problem of being a single father is far reaching....and should be dealt with by the numbers who are affected by it....perhaps then we can effect change in government issues. Thank you for your time...a reply would be genuinely appreciated.........peter

Vijay Sandhu - 10/17/00 23:17:16 My Email:[email protected] Do you see them?: YES Railroaded into poverty?: Somewhat Love your kids?: With all my heart! Have custody?: Joint

Comments: Sorry to hear your story. It's unbelieveable the mistreatment responsible single fathers are recieving throughout this "Fair" country. I am in California, and it's not any better here. Hope things work out for you. Vijay

Viki - 08/27/00 04:08:58 My Email:[email protected] Do you see them?: Yes, I live with them Railroaded into poverty?: N/A Love your kids?: Of course Have custody?: Yes

Comments: I totally agree that some men are railroaded, and that is so sad, however, I think that there are MANY sides to this coin. It does suck that you have to pay so much in child support, HOWEVER, you decided to leave. You say that your ex-wife doesn't pay for anything and that you 'foot the bill'...how so? Who pays for the roof over the child's head? Electricity? The vehicle o get that child to and from daycare/school? Since you are paying so much, you certainly contribute to those expenses and that's wonderful, but you do NOT 'foot the entire bill'. You may help financially, but who's there when your child is sick, sad, an ry to comfort him? You ex-wife is. It's sad that you have to live paycheck to paycheck. We do, too, because my husband pays child support to his ex for his son, and my ex does NOT pay support for his daughter. I can understand how it's frustrating, I live in that situation, but I do NOT egrudge my husband's child that money. You nor your wife should begrudge YOUR child that money. I know that there are many women who are in it for the money, but MAJORITY of us just want enough to help with school expenses, clothing, etc. I don't ask for much, just what my DAUGHTER deserves and it rightfully owed by her father. The laws are made to protect the MAJORITY, women like me who want nothing more than what are children DESERVE AND NEED to survive and be happy children. Unfortunately, those same laws wreck good people. So, what's the solution? There is none. Without hese same laws, my daughter would not get new clothes at the beginning of the year (when we get her father's involuntarily taken income tax return to cover that year's non-paid child support). My daughter would also not be able to be on sport teams, be i volved in any extra curricular activities because we would not be able to afford this on our own. Do I feel sorry for myself because I don't get regular child support? Not at all. I get angry that there are people who think they shouldn't have to pay because they dumped the first family and got a 2nd one! Do I cry every time I write a check to my husband's ex for child support? Absolutely not. He deserves to be able to play sports and have new clothes too. Maybe you need to consider ALL that your ex does for your child and look at that instead of crying over the fact that you now have to support 2 families. YOU made that decision. Life is all about choices. You made a great one, obviously by marrying a w man whom you love, but don't cry that you still have to support the FIRST child you helped conceive and create. I hope that you're very happy with your new family, I don't begrudge anyone that, but don't think that you can just forget your 'old' one!

Don Dippner - 04/29/00 15:03:54 My URL:http://geocities.yahoo.com/heartland/fields/4680 My Email:[email protected] Kids? Y/N: yes Do you see them?: two live with me, the other visits every other weekend Railroaded into poverty?: just about ..... Love your kids?: With all my heart... and then some Have custody?: Not yet

Comments: Married for 21 years, wife didn't work outside the home until after the children were in school. I worked 2-3 parttime jobs in addition to my full time job most of my life. She worked in the school cafeteria for a couple of years until carpel tunnel set n and after the surgery she went to work parttime for the Maheim Auto Auction in PA where her favorite sister's husband works, and found a "rich" sugardaddy used car dealer that stole her heart and although they are "engaged" she moved back to PA after a ustody battle, that I lost even though my kids'wanted to stay here in PA with Dad. She moved to Buffalo, NY to start a new life since I had ruined her life and reputation here in PA, only to have my daughter finally stand up to her controlling mother and move back in with me last summer, and when my youngest, 14, came to visit for ten days last summer, my soon to be -ex couldn't stand being a step-mother to her lover's children and moved back to PA. Off course, Domestic Relations has granted her spousal upport because she no longer lives with her boyfriend in NY, he only stays over on weekends when he comes down for the auto auction each week, and the weekends I have Aaron over she goes up to NY to live with him, but that isn't considered cohabitation .. that's "just visiting" I was paying Child Support for 3 kids ($647/month) and when my oldest, 18, graduated last June 10th, Domestic Relations couldn't schedule a hearing until Nov 12th, which meant I was still paying over $600 Child Support and trying o support two children in my home, until the hearing, but that doesn't matter my -ex was squandering the Child Support each month. She needed it and we didn't! Right! I ended up overpaying her over $1,000 of which $600 has been refunded to me and the r st will come "sometime". I've been held in Contempt of Court twice now, once for underpaying my garnished support by $22, an error by my employer when they switched payroll companies, and now on May 8th a hearing about my challenging unreimbursed medical expenses, since my wife d opped all medical coverage when she quit her job to move to Buffalo NY last summer and since she refuses to talk to me, forbids me to call her on the phone, and returns all my mail, I never found out about it until my daughter tried to go to Band Camp and needed proof of Medical Coverage. But even then, my wife wasn't charged with Contempt of Court, and even though my emploer has much better medical coverage, I was never given the opportunity to put the kids on my plan until Jan 2000, and I don't feel I'm being treated fairly with unreimbursed medical expenses, when IF I had been notified within 30 days of letting her medical drop, as is required by law, I would have immediately put the kids on my policy (I tried to anyway, but because it was past the 30 d ys the medical provider could not add them until January 2000) I'm being treated like a criminal, and she's being treated like a queen. I love my kids, and I love my wife. Granted I'm certainly not "in love" with her anymore, but I still respect her. 've never been abusive, I don't drink, and although she screams and yells at me and kids, emotional and verbal abuse are supposed to be accepted. I've written letter to Domestic Relations, and my divorce lawyer has done nothing for me, accept to send me ills for his time. We don't own a home and she kept everything ... I could have kicked her out of the house we rented when she applie for a divorce, but being an idiot at the time, and believing it was just a fling and part of mid-life crisis, I left her stay at the home and I found a "temporary" place with a friend. And ever since then I've been treated like a second class citizen and a deadbeat dad, when in actuality my wife has been a deadbeat mom for a long time and nothing happens to her .... NOTHIN ! Her new boyfriend is even more controlling then she was, and my kids can't stand him, but that doesn't matter how he treats my kids, just as long as he loves my wife and buys her things he is just wonderful. Thank you for allowing me to vent my frustration. Don Dippner

- 02/08/00 15:48:47

Comments: The proper name should be "BEATDEAD DAD"

- 01/28/00 22:00:50

Comments: I would like you to know not all dad's are deadbeat sherita

Brett Cooper - 01/07/00 09:00:11 My Email:[email protected] How many?: One Do you see them?: No Railroaded into poverty?: Under current laws yes Love your kids?: do not know her Have custody?: no

Comments: Thank-you!!! I wish that more people would speak-out to unbalanced laws that effect millions of people today. The U.S. use to have a law on the books "indebtor's prison" where if you could not pay your debt you go to jail. The question the courts asked How can a person pay off the debt when all the money they make gets them nowhere?" Somehow the laws have to be changed..If in the future you see a group that is trying to make a change etc.lobbying;petition;group suppot. please let me know. Now the Lord prepared a great fish to swallow up Jonas. And Jonas was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights. We my friend are Jonas and we have to do what is right and true in the Lord's eye to be forgive. Again Thank-you for not letting me feel like I'm the only one outhere.

Allison - 11/10/99 01:19:55 My Email:[email protected] Kids? Y/N: yes Do you see them?: they live with me Railroaded into poverty?: no Love your kids?: of course I do Have custody?: yes

Comments: I just wanted to say how TOUCHED & BREATHLESS I was to read your page. I am on the other side of your story though. You see my son Aaron was born on March 5, 1993 & I don't know who his biological father is. The 2 men that could have conceived him well ...there's my problem. I love my son & wish I knew of some way to relieve my guilt as a "good" mother. Thanks for listening. Allison Goodwin :)

Keith A. - 10/27/99 21:46:01 My Email:[email protected] Kids? Y/N: Yes Do you see them?: They all live with me. The one I am paying child support I did not get to see for the first 7 years of her life. Railroaded into poverty?: had to pay with NO visitation Love your kids?: Every one of them, my reason for existance Have custody?: 3 of them, not the one I pay for.

Comments: My oldest daughter was born out of weadlock. Her mother moved out of state without notice to me. I was given no rights to see me my child and had no idea that I would ever see her again. Next thing I know, I am getting sued by the State of Alabama for hild Support and back child support. Which I did loose and pay every month. Shortly after this the court took my daughter from her mother. I filed for custody of my daughter, It took a year to go to court. When I finally got a court date the judge gav the custody to my daughters grandmother. Go figure, Dead Beat Dad! The grandmother could not provide for my daughter. She signed a paper giving me custody (not a court paper), so I picked her up from a homeless shelter. She has been living with me go ng on 3 years and I can't seem to get the court dicision reversed. AL takes my taxes every year and have garnished my wages. The grandmother was getting welfare on my daughter after she was living with me. I may have to pay for this injustice for the r st of my life. I have an attorney in AL trying to correct the problems as we speak. This will be the fourth one I have had to obtain. MEN HAVE NO RIGHTS!!!!! I could go on forever What makes me so mad is my daughter's mother has no custody and pays $ while I pay and provide for my daughter. Another mad dad, Kansas City, MO

Keith A. - 10/27/99 21:29:28 Kids? Y/N: Yes Do you see them?: They all live with me. The one I am paying child support I did not get to see for the first 7 years of her life. Railroaded into poverty?: had to pay with NO visitation

Comments:

Keith A. - 10/27/99 21:28:18 Kids? Y/N: Yes Do you see them?: They all live with me. The one I am paying child support I did not get to see for the first 7 years of her life.

Comments:

Kevin - 10/27/99 05:36:51 My Email:[email protected] Kids? Y/N: yes Do you see them?: per court visit schedule Railroaded into poverty?: yes Love your kids?: with all my heart Have custody?: NO!

Comments: UNREAL! All I can say is you have a healthy attitude. Shame your ex doesnt share it. Ever thought about self employment? There are ways to fight back! Kevin S. Stayte Fathers and Mothers For Equal Rights Toledo Ohio (419) 868 8955

allen south - 10/21/99 16:54:47 My Email:[email protected] Do you see them?: AS OFTEN AS ALLOWED ABOUT 3 TIMES A YEAR, SPRING BREAK OR THANKSGIVING; ONE WEEK AT CHRISTMAS; TWO WEEKS AT BEGINNING OF SUMMER AND TWO WEEKS AT THE END OF SUMMER Railroaded into poverty?: YES! Love your kids?: MORE THAN LIFE. Have custody?: NO

Comments: THERE ARE MANY ISSUES THAT CONCERN MEN WHO ARE THE "REAL" FATHERS OF A CHILD. JUST BECAUSE A WOMAN GIVES BIRTH TO A CHILD, LIES ABOUT WHO THE BIO FATHER IS, LEAVES THE CHILD WITH THE MAN SHE ALLEGATES IS THE FATHER AND THEN 6-1/2 YEARS LATER TWISTS THE OURT INTO BELIEVING HER LIES THEN TAKES THAT CHILD, LIES AND ABUSSES THAT CHILD WHILE MEN HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHTS TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. LAWS NEED CHANGING!!!!!! MORE INFO CONTACT THRU EMAIL OR SNAIL MAIL ME AT 515 SW 32ND STEET, OKLAHOMA CITY, OK 3109

MRenMar - 10/19/99 18:17:10 My Email:[email protected] Kids? Y/N: yes Do you see them?: one yes Railroaded into poverty?: yes Love your kids?: yes Have custody?: no

Comments: I am a woman who is touched by your page. I'm considered a third party, My husband had 2 children from his 1st marriage, when I came along, she did everything to break us up, even going through the kids. they are grown now and have no contact thanks to hi ex-wife. Friend of the court in washtenaw county michigan is tough, I'm terrified of the court system, and disgusted about discrimination against fathers. The children are both diabetic, insulin dependent. The oldest made 55 trips to the hospital in bad hape due to neglect. We had custody for a short time, but the kids we're so brainwashed by their mother, they hated us both and wanted back to their mother, we sent them back because it was their choice, and they were old enough. My husband was laid off f r three years, he did contact friend of the court, they said see you in jail. They threatened me as well over the years. I went for moral support for my husband! When he finally got called back to work, he contacted F.O.C, they made arrangements to again ake the amounts from his check. He didn't mind providing for them, even had them on blue cross medical as well. But she would spend the money on herself while the kids went in rags. If we bought them clothes we were'nt reimbursed. The ex would destroy any hing we bought for them. My husband was thrown in jail for 30 hours of hell on a 5 year-old warrant after returning to work, and having the support & back support taken from his check weekly! The police pulled him us over on a no turn on red light signal. They slammed him up against the car, and he was treated like garbage! I bursted into tears, because I care, the police questioned me for drinking! I really don't drink, only a little wine around the holidays!We lived in a mobile home, and still do, becaus he supported two families. Some day we dream of a house.His ex also harrassed us during visitation, calling at least 20 times a day, and trying to make advances towards my husband.When I was pregnant for our daughter it was so stressful we contacted our egal services, it worked because of my pregnancy, we already suffered a miscarriage by stress. I told my husband when our daughter was born, you will always be her father, and no one can take this one from you! If anything should happen in our marriage, a d if we ever parted, I would not want to deal with friend of the court. We have been married 20 years today! I'm tired of hearing horror stories about deadbeat dads. No wonder why men are so bitter! I care, the courts told me I was a zero and I don't cou t. My husband is now done paying support, and his ex hasn't bothered us. All she cared about was money, she would scream I'll make you pay til the day you die! There's more nasty stuff, but, I feel we are free. There are many who aren't and my heart goes ut to them. His ex is very alone, she lost her second husband,and hardly any friends. She used to harrass him at work,and had one of her friends that works at my husbands auto-plant, harass him. She failed. There are stricter laws in other states, but kee the faith men, this is one gal who cares.I also had money taken from my taxes each year, with my permission, when my husband still owed back-support, just to get it paid, and the courts off our backs. I do understand what fathers go through! And some of hese women need to realize some day the gravy train will end, and need to get off their butts and get a job, when the support ends. Thank-you, and my heart goes out to all who have suffered, mey there be equallity in the courts!

Connie Phillips - 10/11/99 01:56:04 My Email:[email protected] Kids? Y/N: yes Do you see them?: only2 Railroaded into poverty?: almost Love your kids?: of course Have custody?: of 2 only

Comments: Mr.Donald Simmons glad to see you taking a stand and that comes from a woman. See not all of us are bad

bruce long - 10/06/99 04:13:42 My Email:[email protected] Do you see them?: yes every day Railroaded into poverty?: no Love your kids?: very much Have custody?: i two more that we take care of also

Comments: need to know to make my brother-in-law do rigth and do his part?

Stepmom - 10/06/99 04:00:12 My Email:[email protected] How many?: 3 plus 1stepdaughter Do you see them?: only mine Railroaded into poverty?: thought we were taking a turn Love your kids?: of course! Have custody?: of mine

Comments: Parent alienation ring a bell? I hope it doesn't happen to you and your first son, but with many ex-wives, it's almost impossible to avoid. My husband and I have learned that it's an impossible battle to try to maintain respect from his first child, tha ks to her mother. Child support has become secondary (never thought I'd say that!) to visitation. What do you do? Go to court to enforce visitation? Hold mother in Contempt? She goes to jail (maybe)? Daughter REALLY hates us then (absolutely). Does your ex-wife seem to celebrate your second son's birthday (or your wife's, or yours) coincidentally? Like new car on yours? Braces on hers? Court appearances on his? Hopefully she hasn't thought of that yet, but she will in time. Guarantee it! My hu band's ex bought a new Jeep Cherokee one day before a biased judge threw him in jail over back support. The daughter got a new four-wheeler for Christmas. The mom has told me (more than once) that daughter has the best of everything--that she will do wh tever it takes to keep her happy--the best clothes, shoes, etc (spare no expense thanks to support!) but that we can keep "little GD $$" she doesn't need it! That was last year--now we are in court again--raising support..We have a family of FIVE that li es on what this ONE child is ordered to have(according to the guidelines). Actually, we'll live on much less after the order is signed. It does seem a bit unfair that we give her more money for Abercrombie and the court takes from our other children bas c needs (food, electric bill, water). Our consolation--Romans 12:16-19 and others. The daughter wouldn't even come to our house for Christmas last year. I guess because we couldn't provide pagers and personal phone lines (she just turned 13). Maybe if we all just pray for each other we'll make it through and justice will prevail.

Elisabeth Dean - 09/27/99 19:23:17 My Email:[email protected] How many?: 5 Total Do you see them?: 3 live w/us Love your kids?: YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Have custody?: of 3

Comments: My husband and his wife of 16 years divorced. She got custody of their 2 children, a daughter,14 and a son, 9. We married 3 years later. I had 2 daughters, 8 & 6. Two years after we married, we had a daughter together, she is now 6. His ex has kept us in ourt every year for 10 years. We have had to pay every penny of private school, college, medical and social activities for the 2 children. The courts have always agreed with her. She had married a prominent man in Selma. We are now bankrupt and cannot eve afford to order pizza for the 3 children we are raising. His oldest daughter is now married, his son is 19. His checks are garnished so that he rarely brings home 1/2 of his earnings. We have paid $10,000 in legal fees and no one is able to help us. Thi will continue until his son finishes college. Our marriage is now in serious trouble because of the financial strain this has caused. She said when we married that her plan was to bankrupt us and destroy the marriage. The 2 children from that marriage ant nothing to do with us.Their mother has convinced them that she has to take their Daddy to court everytime she needs something for them. They own 2 houses and a condo at the beach. We rent a small house. The Alabama Bar Association even told me there w s nothing they could do. In their words, "Dallas County pretty much does what they want to do".

gwen - 07/31/99 16:51:11 My Email:[email protected] Kids? Y/N: yes/step Do you see them?: seldom Railroaded into poverty?: you better believe Love your kids?: more than life Have custody?: custody of youngest

Comments: don keep up the good work. i have tried to take a few lessons from you. the hatred will eat you alive if you let it. since we became EMPTY NESTERS we have been able to devote more time to our children. the funny thing is---they only seem to need us when they NEED MONEY. all in all---children grow up and leave the nest but they always know the way home!

Women Robbing Dads - 07/25/99 01:47:01 How many?: All of us! Railroaded into poverty?: Not as long as I've an ex! Love your kids?: Just for the money Have custody?: Courts wouldn't have it any other way!

Comments: Dads are scum and that's it. They are here for creation and that's it! Even the courts say so!

Sharyn Rice - 12/08/98 00:31:06 My Email:[email protected] How many?: 2 stepkids, a boy and a girl Do you see them?: as much as the court makes her let us Railroaded into poverty?: getting there Love your kids?: yes, very much so Have custody?: no, working on it

Comments: Don, I made it over here. I hope things straighten up for you and your family. And I hope sooner or later (Good God willing) the law makers and the others see that there is more than 1 child, when second families are involved. Merry Christams and Happy Ne Year (here's to hoping we can all make some new changes in the Child Support Laws).

Terri T. - 12/07/98 15:15:20 My Email:[email protected] Kids? Y/N: Step-daughters Do you see them?: rarely Railroaded into poverty?: no Love your kids?: yes Have custody?: no

Comments: Hi Don. Your website is very touching; it's also sad that instead of showing the world the happiness of your family, you have to devote it to the horrors that so many families face. I have to wonder just how much lower our society can slink, and still sur ive. Destruction of the family unit is the first step towards ultimate destruction, or so I feel. My husband has two girls, now 16 and 15 years old, from his first marriage. Their mother is a parasite, living off the children's support while they need to ee doctors and have winter coats; and once they break down and let us know their needs, we do what their mother should love them enough to do. But we're still "the bad guys", because she has told them so, and the girls have done whatever they thought woul make their mother love them like she's supposed to. That includes shutting us out of their lives, for the most part. The younger child would like to visit, but she got a taste of what her mother and sister were capable of when she came to try living with us a few years ago. Her own mom and sister treated her like a dog, for leaving them without one-half of the child support to "live on". Yes, mom is a burned out alcholic and pothead at 38 years of age. She refuses to work, saying she "doesn't have to!", a d acknowledges that she lives off her children and anyone else she can, and that she will continue to do so. (She voiced this in front of the girls.) If she were a good mother, then I could rationalize that at least she's been home with them. But since I now that she's been home, drunk or stoned, having man after man in that house with those growing girls, smoking pot in their presence, having sex where they and their friends could see/hear it, and letting their medical and dental needs go because she mig t have to pay for 1/2 of a $15 or $20 dollar visit (outof child support), well- I have no sympathy or understanding. These children have chosen to stay in poverty and a very damaging environment, just to make sure their mother has food and a roof over her head. The youngest has been balancing the checkbook since age 12. I know you're wondering "why we didn't get these k ds out of that mess". The truth is, we tried. Our attorney didn't seem to see the need, thinking our tales of desperation were something we concocted, apparently. It was only after a father of a child from the girls' neighborhood spoke with her and told h r of his son seeing the mother smoke pot and hand it to her oldest daughter, and viewing "mom" and one of her live-in boyfriends (a spouse-abuser) having sex while visiting there, that she took the wishes of the younger daughter to try living with us seri usly enough to file a motion for a change in custody. (The child eventually had to go back home. She was miserable, I was near a breakdown, and it was clear that without the support of my husband and his family, we were all going nowhere but downhill. I h d to make a choice to save my marriage and afford my husband a life of his own. Had I left, the children would still have stayed to take care of their mother.) After years of trying to make my husband believe just how detrimental this lifestyle is to his aughters, and having his parents help cover up the disgusting facts from us because they "want the girls to be happy" (short term satisfaction), I had to abandon the fight or lose my sanity and my marriage. It galls me to think that people who love these hildren could be so blind in a blatant situation like this, but who am I to make a family take care of their own children? They cannot see that they have relegated two innocent children to the position of mediator and caretaker of an incompetent, narcisst c adult; and one who I truly believe would give those kids to us tomorrow for the right amount of money. I have no doubt. But the girls know they have to take care of her, and I wonder if the time will ever come that they will feel it's okay to pursue the r own lives. I think the eldest will be able to, as she's like her mother- she'll run over everyone else to survive. But the youngest has a heart as big as a mountain, and I'm afraid that she will be the one who stays behind to take care of her delinquent mom. My husband sees only two "strong kids who make good grades in school", and therefore, "they are going to be alright". I see two kids who've had to live in secrecy for 5 years, hiding the things they've gone through, lest they be removed from their mo 's custody and her have no one to care for her. And I see two adults in the making with a very abstract idea of how families and parents should take care of their children, and I am afraid for future grandchildren, because I know history tends to repeat i self. I'm proud to be a part of Women for Fatherhood, and an ally to people like you who are trying so hard to make this system work like it's supposed to- through legislation, not "snatching children". In the meantime, I hurt for those kids like my husba d's, who may well have been lost along the wayside. I pray God will see us through this turmoil, and that maybe one day, our pain and struggle will not have been in vain.

Willis T. Bird - 11/05/98 23:06:55 My Email:[email protected] How many?: 1+son-in-law Do you see them?: Yes Railroaded into poverty?: Not yet Love your kids?: Absolutely Have custody?: No

Comments: I think at this point you should investigate the possibility of making political contact to try to change the law to be more equitable. Perhaps a petetion drive to be sent to a State Senator in your area would help? Talking among yourselves will only do just so much. Could this be done via e-mail? Suggestions? Good luck.

asteen - 11/03/98 21:56:13 My Email:asteen@express_scripts.com Kids? Y/N: yes Railroaded into poverty?: YES!!!! Love your kids?: yes Have custody?: yes

Comments: If you could somehow enlighten the fathers that are worse that you I would be very thankful. My daughter's father is a quite a case. He works for money that is strictly under the table so that it can't be tracked, never contributes to take care of her. I upply for her every need including the clothes she wears while she is with him (weekends/vacations). To top it all off I could have him sent to jail for failure to pay, only to make my own life harder after he's released. All of this because he wanted to uarantee that he wanted to be sure that he got what he was ENTITLED to. If he could just try to act like a father, that would be a relief. Please know that I do understand through your page he may be one of a very large number. Yet why is it that my daugh er has to suffer the most and I have to pretend that he's not nearly so bad for her sake? Thanks for the insight to another view, I do hope that things can be better for you and others also in similiar situations.

Kasey Blake - 10/30/98 06:34:09 My URL:http://members.xoom.com/4dadz My Email:[email protected]

Comments: Thanks for visiting my stepmom site Thought you might like to see Women For Fatherhood We are a large group including many second wives who feel and share the pain inflicted on decent fathers best of luck to you KC

Kristen - 10/26/98 18:50:35 How many?: 3 Step daughters Do you see them?: yes- E.O.W. Railroaded into poverty?: Pretty close! Love your kids?: Yes Have custody?: Joint

Comments: Boy do I feel for you and the other dad's out there!! My fiance has three girls with his first wife...she has been on welfare for almost 10 years...she uses the childrens money on herself and doesn't think theres anything wrong with that...she thinks ever body owes her something and she shouldn't have to work to pay for anything!! It was her fault that they divorced (she cheated numerous times) and my fiance tried very hard to keep the family together but it was no use, yet he is made to look like the bad guy from every angle...I just can't wait until the kids are old enough to realize and understand the truth about everything. Yes, I am very bitter too, I hope welfare is done away with some day soon!! So she will have to get out there and deal with the r al world!!

Jennifer - 10/21/98 17:39:18 How many?: 2 One son and one stepdaughter Do you see them?: YES Railroaded into poverty?: almost Love your kids?: dearly Have custody?: Of my son not my Stepdaughter

Comments: You have a good page. I only wish more people knew about the unfairness fathers suffer in the courts. Missouri courts are pretty bad, also. My husband was never married to his daughter's mother. The judge dismissed my husband's custody case (that he f led) due to a technicality. After spending $10,000 on lawyers fees and getting nothing, we are pretty bitter. Thankfully, my SD's mother agreed to let us have weekly visitation with my stepdaughter...on her conditions. Use your imagination on that one. Just so you know, there is a state Rep. here that tries to pass a bill every session that would allow the custodial parent to withhold visitation if the non-custodial parents fails to pay child support for more than 30 days. It dies each session but it' scary to know that someday it may pass. Why should a child be punished simply because their parent has a bad month or loses their job, or gets sick, has an accident? It's ridiculous. Good luck.

Mike - 07/06/98 16:43:41 My Email:[email protected] Do you see them?: yes Railroaded into poverty?: can't pay attention Love your kids?: very much Have custody?: joint physical/legal 50/50

Comments: I currently have joint physical legal custody pending final hearing 7/20/98. Scared to death the judge will take away what he gave me 7 months ago. I left with my 6 month old daughter 1st of year. Had her 1 month alone. This was all legal and within m rights. My daughter turns 1 7/8/98. I had to negotiate to get her on fathers day. Do not believe if she gets custody that I will have access to her. Believe the soon to be ex views the baby as a check. Between me and her ex we support her well. look ng for information on appeals in divorce and custody. If anyone has any info please let me know, prepare for the worst.

Don - 07/02/98 17:34:34 My Email:[email protected]

Comments: Right on, Brother!

Steve Rugg - 06/06/98 04:53:25 My Email:[email protected] Do you see them?: as often as possible (as often as the court makes her let me see my daughter) Railroaded into poverty?: almost Love your kids?: intensely Have custody?: No

Comments: I was told that it doesn't matter if I have the money or not. I have to pay or go to jail so get it somewhere or else.