Our married life extended beyond fifty years. For the fiftieth anniversary we kneeled together and received the blessing of the holy communion. When she could sit up and move about I arranged holy communion for her at home at regular intervals when we all would join her to receive it.

She came as a village lass, pure, simple, innocent, honest and with the fear of God in her. And till the last she kept up her purity, honesty, simplicity, and love of God. Pomp and show were against her very grain. Duty and responsibility remained sacred to her. Her love of the weak, the poor and the disabled had on many occasions urged her to spare her own meal to them, if she had nothing else to give or if some one asked for food. A glass of water would satisfy her. This would be all on the quiet, that even if I came to know of it, it would be days later perhaps in some other connection.

It was she that started the practice of our bed time prayer. It lasted till her last day. I believe that, more than anything else, it helped us to maintain an unshaken bond of love, concord, peace and harmony not only between us but in our family too, which in turn gave us so much joy and happiness in our lives. I continue in that practice of prayer.

Looking back, I cannot recollect a single occasion when there was a quarrel or a fight or even more than a momentary anger in our family between us parents or among the children. According to present standards we have a large family. But neither of us did at any time feel so nor felt any burden or disappointment. On the contrary it only added to our joy and happiness. Are not "children a heritage of God?" We richly benefited from that God-given heritage. To her "motherhood was a partnership with God." Her prayer always was for "children you have given us" and never for "my" or "our" children. I have often wondered whether she was a better wife or a better mother. I shall never solve that riddle. So harmoniously did she blend the two simultaneous phases of her life into an integrated whole that it made her "the fruitful vine by the side of thine house" and even of the whole big family.

Frugal living was something practised from childhood and so when I set up a family such a living style was something that came to us quite naturally. Aleykutty had, I must emphasize, a knack in managing home affiars in quite a frugal way. This was a habit she acquired as a result of the early responsibility that fell upon her even before she entered her teens (in age) to run the house almost by herself since her mother had to attend to all external matters in the absence, due to death, of her father when she was only a child. This frugal habit helped us to run our family with the small income we had.

Elsewhere I have indicated the meagre salary I drew from working at the school at the time of my marriage. Pay was not high in Air Force either. But when we lived as a family I could buy rations in kind from the Service at controlled rates. In the lower ranks (whose term of service includes free rations/food) one was free to take the permitted rate of ration money in lieu of rations in kind and buy from the service at controlled rates any amount of rations for one’s own family members as well as for any dependents staying with the family. Higher ranks could also thus buy rations from the Service. Use of Canteen facilities which supplied daily necessities such as stationery, toilet articles, tinned food materials etc. also at controlled rates made living comfortable. Later when children attained school age, Air Force Stations had established schools to provide free education for small children and free transport for choldren to go to schools or colleges in nearby cities. Living quarters for families of the lower ranks were free while higher ranks had only to pay a nominal rent. Medical aid including hospitalization was free. These facilities coupled with non-indulgence in luxuries or vices made life fairly comfortable.

Wherever possible we kept our own chicken and vegetable garden in the plot around the Service quarters we lived in. Aleykutty took a keen interest in developing and maintaining them. Procuring admission on Scholarship at Lawrence School, Lovedale (in Nilgiris near Ooty) by Jose at the early age of eight, not only gave him a good education but also went a long way to ease the financial burden on the family. Except for a little pocket money and travelling expenses to and from school, everything else including school books and clothing was free at school. From Lovedale he went to National Defence Academy (N.D.A.) at Khadakvasla near Poona as an Air Force Cadet. There too everything was free. Admission was by an all India competitive test in which he stood first.

I must frankly and gladly admit that Aleykutty had greater and firmer trust in the all-sufficiency of God which she prayerfully exercised in every detail of daily life. Our sixth child was on its way and she asked me one day, in quite a casual manner, that we start keeping an account of our tithe and spend it on deserving matters. Tithe is one-tenth part of all of one’s income. She particularly stressed the words of the Prophet Malachi (Ch 3:10): "Bring the full tithes into the store house that there may be food in my house and thereby put me to the test." We made contributions and payments to worthy causes but surely they did not add up to our tithe. She was fully aware that we were only just making both ends meet and yet her firm faith in God encouraged her to persaude me to follow the biblical injunction. It set me thinking and as I took time to decide she kept on instilling confidence in me. If I was diffident, she asked me to "Put God to the test" as the verse in the Bible enjoined. In her quiet and loving manner she kept on urging me to make an affirmative decision; and when I did she was very pleased and happy. She considered it as a sure source of blessing. Later life proved that it was.

She did not either wish or like handling money. She never inquired what my salary was, neither did she ever try to find out how it was spent. Of course I consulted or kept her informed of major or unusual expenses. But she wanted me to keep a correct account of the tithe money. Casually she would ask and make sure the accounts were up-to-date. But she had no inclination to see it or enquire into its details. Between us there was perfect understanding and confidence of each other in all matters but the check up of the tithe acounts, I knew, was only because she considered it sacred. Her trust in the all-sufficiency of God was so firm that if ever I tried to point out any financial problem or any need facing us, she was never pertrurbed and would always assure me, "God will provide; so far He did and in the future He would." There the problem always ended. Her words reflecting her undaunted trust in God always served as an encouragement to me.

Her kindness to the poor and the needy was a trait kept nurtured by that trust. She believed that helping them was only simple obedience to the teachings in the Bible. She practiced the dictum "Love is Christianity in action." In Jalahalli, behind the Service Quarters where we lived, there lived a few very poor families. There were endless quarrels, beatings and crying there, practically day and night. All sorts of vices were prevalent among them. Children suffered most, often going without a meal a day. Deeply feeling for the plight of the children, Aleykutty used to feed them once a month. All children would squat on the floor in lines, food would be served in plantain leaves and then she would pray, asking for blessings upon the children. After prayer, they would eat, getting any number of helpings. 20 to 25 children, both boys and girls would join.

After retirement, when we came and settled in the ancestral home at Kumbanad, she revived this practice. I used to serve the food. The condition of children here being better, the number joining in steadily declined and the feeding was abandoned.

This kindness to the poor she maintained throughout. If a poor woman came asking for an old saree for her daughter’s marriage, she would give a newer one which she had worn only once or twice. Many a time has she spared her meal for a hungry soul at the gate. Even if there was extra food or something else at home to eat, she would not take it; she would instead take only a glass of water raising a prayer of praise and thanks that she was given an opportunity to feed a hungry soul. "He who is kind to the poor lends to the Lord and He will repay him for his deed;" so says the Bible (Proverbs 19:17). Why should she then fear? Giving must be at a cost to yourself, she believed. Many other similar examples of her kind deeds and sacrifices could be stated.

I must readily admit that her undaunted faith and trust in God, in daily life and in all circumstances, coupled with our family prayers went a long way to strengthen my own feeble trust and dependence upon the all-sufficiency of God. As months and years rolled by I was happy that setting apart the tithe did not in the least curtail our resources at any time to meet our needs. Not only that, the tithe amount provided a sure and stable source to fall upon whenever a contribution had to be made for religious or humanitarian causes. I may also add that such a contribution was always higher than what it used to be before tithe was set apart. This practice continued even after my retirment and settling down at home.

Pension and allowances increased; my commitments were reduced and by 1988 I could think of making greater contributions than before to deserving causes. In fact amounts far exceeding tithe amounts were spent and is still being spent. By that time all children had settled down and had their own sources of income sufficient enough for all their needs and to spare. This emboldened me to ask them to contribute to a fund to be spent on certain costly projects which I myself could not promote. Quite willingly all of them cooperated. Each contributed according to his or her mite. I must say that one’s contribution still remains unknown to any one else except for me as the recipient. Deliberately Aleykutty refrained from enquiring about either the person or the amount contributed. With my own share added to it, the major projects accomplished are:

1. Two rooms in the Payward at the Fellowship Mission Hospital, Kumbanad.

2. A Chapel building in the same hospital, fully furnished and provided with all facilities for holding Holy Communion Service (Communion Vessels and other accessories provided).

3. A guest house called "Theckethil Bhavan" at Khariar Road, a mission field in Orissa on the border with M.P. under the Niranam-Maramon diocese of the Mar Thoma Church.

(Aleykutty was extremely happy at all these. In fact, the idea of a chapel originated from her. She knew of the proposal and the first installment of payment for the guest house but, by then had become too weak for any outward expression of gladness and she passed away before its completion).

4. A house with concrete roof for a poor family (Hindu) in Kumbanad.

5. Financial aid for the marriage of all three Red Cross Home Nurses who nursed Aleykutty with deep sympathy and consideration. They received different amounts according to their requirements.

(Items 3, 4, and 5 are donations in loving memory of Aleykutty. Tablets to the effect are fixed on the front wall of the two buildings).

6. Sizeable amounts were given at different times for missionary work, construction/repair/ modification of church buildings at different places; construction/repair of houses for the poor; education of children especially in colleges; marriage aid; medical aid; contribution to natural calamity funds, etc.

This is not a vainglorious statement but a recording of true facts which I and my family could achieve. It is recorded in all humility with a deeply grateful heart that so much (running into many lakhs of rupees) could be so spent or done in so short a time from a very small beginning. At this stage in life, gratifying though these contributions are, I do, in all humility of spirit, acknowledge that the decision way back in life to set apart tithe, served not only to set apart some money, but it served well as a turning point in life to reflect more seriously than hitherto upon the poor and the needy and to reach out to their succour as much as one could. That the whole family is behind all these gives immeasurable satisfaction. "Love thy neighbour as thyself" is the noble Christian teaching and love is Christianity in action. That these contributions were for the common good or to alleviate some one’s burden remains a gratifying thought.

I do look back at times upon my past life. I have a fairly good memory of my past, right from childhood. I cannot recollect any act of omission or commission that causes any regret now. I am satisfied that I managed to hold on to truth and honesty at all times. I laboured without counting the cost and am happy that it was not in vain. I have no doubt that it brought rich dividends. There is nothing to be proud of but one can legitimately take pride in the advancement the family has gained. Children and their spouses make up fourteen in number and their children too number fourteen in all, of which only the eldest, a girl, is married. Aleykutty was the first and the only one yet to be removed by death from the family. But before she left she was blessed to see all children happily settled in life. She also witnessed the fulfilment of her daily and constant prayer that "none of the children Thou gave us may be lost; they may be enabled to stand faultless before Thee." It is also highly gratifying to see all grandchildren have the fear of God in them and getting the best education the land can give. The elder ones have already qualified as doctor, engineer or scientist. I am confident the younger ones will also select useful professional studies and acquit themselves well.

I am now practically restricted to the house. I spend some time in light reading but cannot read or write for a long time. Often I ruminate upon the past and thank the Lord for His mercies and constant guidance which helped me to lead a happy life with a happy group of people whom I have the pleasure and privilege to call My Family. The love and consideration I enjoyed and still enjoy at their hands transcend my words.

"Thou shalt see thy children's children." That is a blessing promised to "every one that feareth the Lord; that walketh in His ways." We too got that blessing. It is very gratifying that these grandchildren are all getting good education and have the fear of God instilled into them. Rekha Elizabeth, our eldest grandchild and Jose's daughter passed her M.B.B.S. from Delhi University - the first doctor in her generation, the seventh from the larger Theckethil family. As a child of six months she was entrusted to our care at Tambaram in 1971 when her parents left for U.S.A. (Jose, for test pilot training). For about a year and a half we brought her up. Her marriage was conducted here in this church on May 2, 1994. Rt. Rev. Philipose Mar Chrysostem officiated. The bridegroom John (Bobby) is a graduate in medicine from Keezhvaipur living in U.S.A. with his parents. It was an occasion when I felt very much the absence of Aleykutty.

I am a diabetic now for more than twenty years. It has done its damage upon my nervous system resulting in poor circulation of blood in the body as well as Angina. I am destined to live with antibiotics for the rest of my life. But it has neither made me anxious nor worried about my health or future or even death. Why should I? The Bible, which we all believe, clearly warns us, "It is appointed for man to die once" (Heb 9:27). St. Paul has advised us that we must all appear before the judgement seat of Christ (2 Cor 5:10). We are all born to die. Death to us is a one time appointment. The Psalmist warned us long ago, "The years of our life are three-score and ten, or even by reason of strength four-score; yet their span is but a toil and trouble. They are soon gone and we fly away" (Psalm 90:10). Having crossed the four-score limit, one has only to look forward to the "appointed" day to "fly away" when all "toil and trouble" will come to an end. As much as I can, I try to be happy and cheerful at all times. Each day is a new day bringing new experiences and opportunities. I get all the help and care I need. I am deeply grateful. I like to lead a quiet life. In my daily life I try to realize Him more and more in all matters and events. Each day is a happy day.

In a nutshell........my life:

1. Primary education in Boys Primary School, Kumbanad; 1919-23.

2. High school education at St. John’s English High School, Eraviperoor. Passed out in Mar/April 1930. (1923-30)

3. Intermediate - Union Christian College, Alwaye; (PCM group); 1930-32.

4. Graduate (B.A.). Maharaja’s College of Science, Trivandrum; 1932-34. Chemistry (Main), Physics (Subs); Passed in II class.

5. In Madras in search of a job. With M/S Spencer and Co. for about a year; Sep ‘34 to April ‘36 in Madras.

6. Science teacher in Noel Memorial Vernacular High School (N.M.V.H.S.), Kumbanad; June ‘36 to Nov ‘39.

Sunday School Teacher. Taught in Jeshta Vakup while teaching in the school at Kumbanad. Second graduate teacher in Sunday School (first one was N.J. Chacko M.A., L.T.)

7. To Karachi in Nov ‘39; joined Air Force Dec 18, 1939. Served in Indian Air Force 18 Dec 1939 to 18 July 1966 (retired). Served on re-employment for 3 years; 19 July 1966 to 18 July 1969 (left Air Force).

At Jalahalli (Bangalore) while in the Air Force

(a) visited and financially assisted Hoskote mission.

(b) Vice president of Jalahalli Mar Thoma congregation. Helped it to grow. It is now an independent parish with a resident priest and its own church building.

8. After leaving Air Force stayed in Bangalore 19 July ‘69 to 30 Sep ‘70; In Tambaram 1 Oct ‘70 to 5 Sep ‘76.

19 July ‘69 (date leaving Air Force) to some time in 1977 (date I forget now), served as a Company Director. Bangalore-based company was sold off.

After retirement, during the six years 1970-1976 at Tambaram, organized first, a prayer group and then a regular church service. Priests from Madras conducted Communion service once a month; other Sundays I conducted the full service including the sermon. Also

(a) Conducted a Sunday School in English;

(b) Continued to conduct the prayer group.

Tambaram has a church building, a parsonage and a resident Atchen now.

9. At home, Sep 6, 1976 onwards. Other activities and details are:

Prayer group at Kumbanad. From time I came home in 1976 I conducted (including the sermon) the prayer groups I and II till I fell sick in 1982; ie for about 6 years.

During this period served on the Dharmagiri Committee; was its internal auditor. During the Maramon Convention in 1981, ran the Dharmagiri hotel on the river bed with the active asssistance of Aleykutty.

Have delivered sermons in special prayer groups (like Kudumbavaram, Sannadha Suviseshaka Varam), Passion week etc;

Was vice president of the church for many years ( 4 or 5 times).

Member of the Diocesan Assembly (elected from the parish) and also member of Diocesan Council for two terms. Resigned Council seat during second term due to ill health.

Member of Pratinidhi Mandalam for one term (from this parish).

For 15 years (1978-93) was a member of Local Advisory Committee of Fellowship Mission Hospital out of which for 12 years (1981-93) was its Honarary Treasurer.

During this period, supervised construction projects in the Hospital on voluntary basis; helped in the administration of the hospital. Internal auditor for 3 years.

Was elected in December 1988, unopposed, as the president of the ad hoc committee to organise and establish a Kudumba Yogam for the Kumbanattu Kudumbam (family).

Later, being elected twice, remained as the Kudumba Yogam president for 4 years (1989-93).