It took us about two months to settle down, arranging and rearranging the house. We attended church and other prayer meetings, etc. regularly. Very soon I began to conduct the regular prayer meeting on Sunday afternoons. Appachen and Ammachi felt relieved. The day after we arrived Appachen washed his hands off from everything and Ammachi promptly left the kitchen. She would not walk into it even casually. She kept a studied aloofness. We had not even a single day's time to see or learn just what was to be done. 1941-1976 we were practically away from the house, away from the place. But we were not going to be deterred.

Aleykutty quickly took over. There was no proper help in the house. Day to day chores were too much for one person alone. From morn to late into the night she toiled hard. I could not be of any help to her as when we lived in Tambaram or Jalahalli. Demands on her only increased as days went by and they became relentlessly exacting too. Often I wondered, then and in later years too, whether all such demands were necessary at all and they should be made so exacting when all the needs could be satisfactorily met in much easier and quieter ways. Sometimes I felt doubly sorry but at the same time I had great confidence in her that she would not falter but would quietly stand up to it. However, her meekness and confidence in herself coupled with her constant dependence on God gave her the strength to carry on. We had a practice of praying together just before retiring to sleep even after the family prayer. This we kept up whenever we were together. She would submit all her burdens in that prayer and then sleep like a child. Both of us were firmly determined at all costs to maintain peace and harmony at home whatever be the provocations and from whatever quarter. We doggedly stuck to it, all the time, all the days.

Slowly but steadily I too became busy and had to be out of the house most of the daytime. I was elected to the Church committee and later to the Niranam-Maramon Diocesan Assembly. The Assembly elected me to its council. Both the Assembly and the Council were presided over by His Grace the Metropolitan and his knowledge of me from the college days and my activities while in Air Force made him nominate me to any subcommittee set up by the council. This meant frequent runs to Tiruvalla. The secretary Atchen of the Evangelistic Association knew me personally and he lost no time to get me nominated to the Dharmagiri Mandiram Committee, which in turn nominated me as one of its internal auditors. Within a year of my coming home the local advisory committee of the Fellowship Mission Hospital, Kumbanad was to be replaced by a new one and His Grace the Metropolitan nominated me to that committee. The committee made me the internal auditor along with another. The hospital was slowly expanding and there were buildings under construction. Being a local person, the committee entrusted me with the supervision of all construction activities in the hospital. The hospital had its sub-committees for appointments, works, etc. and as Treasurer, I had to attend to all of them. During my second tenure on the hospital committee I was unanimously elected as its Treasurer. Meanwhile I was elected Vice President of the Church Committee. One or the other of the committees or subcommittees kept me away from the house. If not a committee, some construction work kept me away.

Meanwhile, Georgie left for Bahrain where Saramma and Baby were then. Within two weeks he succeeded in getting a job. In 1978, Aleykutty and I went to Tambaram, disposed of the property there and returned Johnnykutty's money.

Dharmagiri used to run a hotel on the river bed at the Maramon Convention site every year. It always ran into debt. So in 1981 I was given sole charge of running the hotel to supply meals and eatables during the convention that year. Dharmagiri got me the cooks whom they used to employ from outside. From Sunday to Sunday - that is, all the eight days of the convention - Aleykutty and I were at the hotel. We would leave home on the scooter such that we were in the hotel before 6 a.m. Women are not allowed on the riverbed (Pandal Premises) between 6 p.m. and 6 a.m. So Aleykutty would return home alone by bus before 6 p.m. All the time she was in the kitchen controlling everything that happened there. Vicar of the Maramon church, who knew me from Jalahalli, deputed four young girls at my request from their Youth League to serve food in the hotel. They were very good at serving and did excellent service. Finally when accounts were settled there was a net profit of over Rs 2500/- that is, after meeting all of the expenses from the profit. Where there was a yearly loss here was a good gain! Aleykutty enjoyed her part in helping me to make this profit because, without my asking she had volunteered to shoulder the burdensome tasks involved in the kitchen. The profit was chiefly due to the efficient management of the kitchen and its credit should go to Aleykutty. The young girls who served also deserve credit for excellent serving and correct accounting.

In Nov-Dec 1981 I tried to walk around carrying a grandchild of mine. I felt an unusual pain in my thighs. The muscles were taut. I had never felt it before. I could not move forward with the baby. I saw the doctor the next day. Straight away he ordered for an X-ray of my back, the lumbar region. I had a slipped vertebra leading to Sciatica. From the vertical position the vertebra had slipped off pressing against the sciatic nerves that supply blood to the legs. Due to lack of blood supply I was feeling pain down the back of my leg. I consulted Kottackal Ayurveda Vaidyan also. He asked me to use an easy chair to ease the tension on the spine. He also asked me to massage the back and the legs with medicated oils. He further prescribed complete rest in bed for three weeks with a dose of medicated oil every day. All these I did. Aleykutty massaged me daily with the oil. It was during this bed rest that Kulangaramadom Ammachi expired. After the rest period I began to move about again. Daily massage of the body was kept up. But standing or walking for 2-5 minutes made my legs numb. It made my legs weak with no strength to stand and I immediately had to sit or lie down. This made travel by bus or walking a few steps impossible.

I resigned from the Diocesan Assembly and its council for which I was elected a second time. I also got out of the Dharmagiri and church committees. I retained only the hospital committee membership for which I was nominated for five consecutive terms, totalling in all 15 years, of which I was treasurer for the last 12 years. During this period the hospital expanded and many buildings were constructed all of which I supervised.

In 1989, with Aleykutty's persuasion, I offered to contribute substantially (not less than a lakh of rupees) towards the cost of a chapel building in the hospital. Both of us had felt its need. Everyday, morning prayer was held in the open veranda. It was a thanksgiving offer on the occasion of my attaining 75 and she 70 years. Only three weeks separated our birthdays. All our children contributed towards it. I added my share too. All except Suzy and Lizzie were present for the foundation laying by His Grace the Metropolitan. It was also constructed under my supervision and commissioned within a year. Though a chapel, it is built and equipped exactly as a church and after the necessary consecration can be used as a church.

Both Appachen and Ammachi were in indifferent health. While diabetism and ulcers in the stomach troubled the former, the latter suffered from hypertension (B.P.). One or the other, sometimes both, had to be taken to the hospital frequently. Finally, towards the end of 1980, Appachen fell sick. A Physician and a Surgeon examined him at home. Both agreed it was cancer in the stomach and no treatment would help at that stage. Within about ten days he could not move about on his own. Soon he was in bed, not able to get up. He had to be bodily lifted on to and from a commode. It was beyond those at home to nurse him. So I saw the doctor, discussed the matter with him and he was admitted to Fellowship Mission Hospital for mere nursing. I wrote and informed relations, etc. There was a stream of visitors. After seeing him in the hospital, many came home at odd hours in the morning and had to be served with food. Aleykutty had a difficult time serving breakfast even up to 11 a.m. On many days she had to prepare it again and again since people dropped in at their own times. Added to this was washing soiled linen from the hospital. On certain days 8-10 big pieces had to be washed which she did herself to ensure cleanliness. He expired on 21 Dec 1980. I have dealt with this earlier. Ammachi expired on March 1, 1986.

In 1982 while on leave Johnykutty laid the foundation for his house and left for Nigeria. A well and the house were to be completed. Though originally not so intended, the supervision of the construction finally fell upon my shoulders. Even before this work was over, Jose arrived on leave, laid the foundation of his house and left. So its responsibility also became mine. When completed His Grace the Metropolitan blessed Jose's house.

The grand old house built by Valiammachi was not convenient and was insufficient for present day needs. It was badly attacked by white ants also. Any modification or addition to it would still not make it suitable. It was not wise either to retain portions eaten or being eaten by white ants. So Georgie, to whom was bequeathed the house, agreed with me to put up a new building after pulling down the old one as well as the kitchen block. We decided to retain the eastern wing but to modify it also suitably.

In July 1986, the two blocks were dismantled. The kitchen roof and the stones of the kitchen walls were sold off. All the wood of the old block was saved for the new one. With some of the dismantled material a shed was put up to serve as a kitchen. A fire place was built up. Light and water connections were given to the shed. One room of the east wing served as sitting cum bedroom and in part as a store. Both of us had to toil hard throughout the construction. It was a very strenuous period. Aleykutty fell sick and was completely bedridden for two days. I dragged on somehow and was very much run down. With doors opening outwards in position we moved into the new house and breakfast was prepared in it on 23 March 1987 (Ben's birthday) using Gracie's gas stove which was here. All the wood requirements for the new building was met out of the wood saved from the old house. Wiring, plastering, mosaic etc. all followed. Yet it was a great relief to get out of the shed. Finally the house was complete in all respects and the house warming was conducted on 19 July 1987 (my birthday) as desired by others. Georgie and family being on leave were present.

By the end of 1977, Suzy passed out of Vellore and came home. People came everyday with attractive offers for the lady doctor. But she expressed a wish to work in the Sihora Ashram in Madhya Pradesh for some time. Together we went and saw the Metropolitan at the Retreat Centre during the Maramon Convention. He was very pleased and expressed his approval. His sister was the doctor at Sihora. At the very first opportunity he announced in the convention meeting, giving the name and other details of Suzy, that here was a young girl and a medical graduate ready to go to a mission field. Within a few days she left for Sihora with some one who had come down from there for the Convention. Her services were, I learned later, appreciated by one and all. In 1978 Gracie returned from Nigeria at the end of her contract. She did not renew it. She remained jobless for a short while before accepting a teacher's post in the Mar Thoma Residential English medium school at Tiruvalla. She commuted the distance from home by bus.

A favourable marriage proposal for Suzy came and so she was called back from Sihora. She was married in the Mar Thoma Church at Naranamoozhi (near Ranni). The late Rt. Rev. Thomas Mar Athanesius Suffragon Metropolitan officiated. She left for Nigeria with her doctor husband. Six months later, Gracie was married here in this church. The bridegroom was from Uthimood (near Ranni) who was then a teacher in Nigeria. After marriage, she too left for Nigeria with her husband. Mary had agreed to the conduct of these marriages of her younger sisters and preferred to wait a little longer for her own marriage. However, it was also conducted in July 1980 here in this church. It was raining heavily and so she had to use a car to reach the church so close by. The bridegroom was from Ernakulam. Meanwhile a marriage was ready for Georgie from Trivandrum. It was also conducted here in this church on the same day as Mary's, the former in the morning and Mary's in the afternoon. Appachen and Ammachi thus attended the marriage of all our children. In October 1978, Ben, with our knowledge, married a girl from the United States itself. Later he also acquired the citizenship of that country. He renounced his share here and is now an American citizen.

Since the demise of Ammachi, Aleykutty and I were alone in this house. A woman worked part time for about four years, when her services were dispensed with for dishonest behavior in which she was caught red-handed. Then we lived alone. Except for membership on the committee of the hospital I had no other external commitments. We lived a quiet life. She was elected vice-president of the Sevika Sangham one year. The next year she declined and stopped going to its meetings also simply because she needed more rest now having to do all the chores at home. We shared the daily work but there was no division of work. We did what we could. Neither of us got anxious nor worried over anything to be done or not done at the close of the day. We were determined not to get worried. We even talked of death and parting but never were afraid of it. We maintained the family worship. She took the lead in the mornings and I in the evenings. Bed time prayer continued uninterrupted. Her prayers were always more intercessory than mine. If anyone or anything hurt or wounded her she was sure to pray for the person or the matter. Another constant prayer of hers was that "no child given to us may be lost!" She could think of children only as God-given and not otherwise. She longed to see the Fellowship Hospital expand and grow into a serving hospital and she liked me doing anything for the hospital. That was another constant subject in her prayers. We kept our commitments as low as possible and equally so our demands. That kept our strain, both mental and physical, also to the minimum possible. I cannot remember any instance when either of us remained under undue strain of mind. In the evenings we heard the news and watched special programmes on T.V. We engaged ourselves in light reading. We attended church regularly and partook in holy communion whenever celebrated. We had no fears nor any unfulfilled desires or wishes.

One day in Dec 1987, I was invited to attend the same afternoon a meeting of a few members from the larger Kumbanattu Kudumbam. It was not clear what its purpose was and I was not keen to get involved in such a gathering. I preferred to rest and turned to bed with the newspaper. Aleykutty thought otherwise. She persuaded me to go only for the sake of listening to what was happening. She too did not want me to be involved in anything and so told me not to take any active part in it. So I sat quietly listening to the talks and discussions. Many things were talked about. They are irrelevant here. Finally it crystallized on one thing that hitherto the family had no organization or forum for a joint meeting and discussion of family matters, and so a Kudumba Yogam (assembly of family members) be established. An ad-hoc committee with a President, Secretary, and Committee members were to be elected from among those assembled. The senior most person present (a cousin) was presiding. He called for names for President. To my great surprise only my name was proposed. I was not sure if it was confidence in me or that no one wanted the responsibility. I declined saying that any other elder person present be elected. No one would even hear it and with one voice I was elected President charged with the responsibility of working along with the Committee to organize the establishment of the Kumbanattu Kudumba Yogam and to hold its first general body meeting.

I came back home and broke the news to Aleykutty. She beamed with joy. She felt proud that my election was unanimous and I was selected to such a position in the family. She felt happy in persuading me to go to the meeting and getting elected. The committee met several times, each time in a committee member's house and thrashed out a constitution for the Kudumba Yogam and other matters for conducting the inaugural meeting. The plan was to hold a general body meeting in the morning when the Kudumba Yogam could be inaugurated; and a business meeting in the afternoon to hold elections etc. with a grand lunch for all those who assemble. The meeting was held in April 1988 here in the Mar Thoma Valiapalli Parish hall. I presided. Rt. Rev. Philipose Mar Chrysostem Suffragon Metropolitan with a speech inaugurated the Kudumba Yogam. The business meeting in the afternoon approved the Constitution and elected a committee for the next two years as per the Constitution. I was elected President again unanimously. The lunch was good and everybody liked it. The fine arrangements and the smooth and orderly conduct of the day's proceedings were lauded by one and all.

On committee days, Aleykutty would impatiently wait for me to return to learn what transpired. She earnestly wished the Kudumba Yogam would prosper and was happy that all things went well and that I was again elected to be the President. The next annual gathering and elections were held in May 1990, when I was again elected as President to serve a second term. The third annual meeting and elections were in May 1992. Aleykutty was then in hospital after the stroke she suffered. Leaving her to the care of Lizzie and Gracie who were here I spent the whole day at the meeting. I was aware that my presence at home would become increasingly necessary because of Aleykutty's condition. I made it known that I was no more available to take over the presidentship. It was a fruitful period of work for a little over four years and when I left, the Kudumba Yogam was in good shape to leap forward. I enjoyed working for the Kudumbam (family). But the initial enthusiasm was lacking in everybody. The number of people coming forward to actively support and progress the work of the Yogam was not enough, that it did not realize all what it could, though we had the talent and the means. With the help of one or two others, I prepared a family tree of the Kumbanattu Kudumbam from the founder father to the present day. It took a lot of time and the last portions of it were completed in the hospital, with Aleykutty in the ICU after the stroke.

April 12, 1992 was Palm Sunday. We participated in the holy communion. Aleykutty spent the next day as usual. After the usual nap in the afternoon she was out of the house doing her gardening till about 6:30 p.m. when she came in. Together we took our late evening tea and she sat before the T.V. to watch the 7 p.m. serial. I joined a minute or two later and sat on her left. She cut some joke about what she watched on T.V. Within a second, there was a great change in her. Words fail me. She was in great agony and she was frantically trying to get up, or so it appeared to me, but could not raise herself even an inch. I thought she would fall forward. I tried to hold her and put my hand on her back. It was not warm but hot. She was sweating so profusely that even her saree went wet. I asked her to lean on me or to lie down on the sofa or what else she wanted. She did not answer. I did not notice any breathing problem but I could not understand what her difficulty was. It was now certain that she was in serious difficulty. Her legs nor the hands moved and the left hand was firmly on the sofa. What a change in the flicker of an eye. My thoughts wandered. Would she survive? If so, for how long? I wanted to call Johny on the phone but was not confident to leave her and take the phone. But immediate help was essential. Help could not be delayed. Phone was the only way. So I called Johny and told him to rush home and put it down. I could not wait to say why. In an instant he arrived and called her several times but to no avail. All possible things passed through my mind in quick succession. I wondered how much longer would this agony last and would she survive it.

Johny rushed to the church where evening service of the Passion week was in progress and brought some people. They lifted Aleykutty to the nearby bed. She was now perfectly quiet. She lay on the bed and looked at everybody but did not answer any questions. Did she recognize those around her? What was her feeling a few minutes ago? We would never know. She did not speak a single word. We phoned up the hospital for the physician to be ready and rushed her to the hospital and into the ICU. The doctor examined her, came out by about 8:30 p.m. and broke the sad news that she had had a stroke, her right hand and right leg were paralyzed and she had lost her speech also. Her discomfort and agony were so great but now she was absolutely calm and quiet. I saw her immediately in the ICU. I do not know if she heard or understood anything I said. She had no memory of any of these events or the time she spent in the hospital even after she became normal later.

The doctor warned us there were three distinct possibilities ahead. She would continue as she was now, or could improve in course of time, or get further stroke or strokes with unpredictable consequences. Because of this last possibility all children were informed by phone and before midnight return calls were received from U.K., Muscat, Saudi, and Delhi where our children were. Locking the house I spent the night at the hospital. A host of thoughts and questions flashed through my mind - the possibilities that lay ahead for Aleykutty, the running of the house, the future and so on with no answer to any one of them. But I did not get unduly anxious or worried because both of us firmly believed that all that happened in our lives were always with His knowledge or consent and that all things worked for our good. As mortals we may not see or understand the 'good' immediately but it remained a hard truth. I found solace in that and submitted everything into His Merciful Hands through silent prayer. I prayed particularly for Aleykutty to give her the strength to bear her pain or whatever it was and to cling firmly to her faith and trust in God. I was confident that would be the first thing that she would do.

Mary came the next day, rushing in a taxi all the way from Ooty. All others except Ben from U.S.A. came one after the other. Their presence was both a comfort and relief. There would be some one at home. After a week in ICU, Aleykutty was moved to a room. On a shift basis, children remained near their mother. First few nights I also spent at the hospital. As soon as she arrived, Gracie volunteered and stayed in the hospital during the night all the time Aleykutty was in the hospital. She could not swallow anything, not even a tea spoon full of any liquid. She was therefore given nasal feeding.

She remained in the hospital for a month. What the exact cause of the stroke was not known. It had to be ascertained for giving correct treatment. So on the fifth day after the attack she was taken in an ambulance to Sri Chithira Medical Centre in Trivandrum for scanning of the head. The scanning set at rest all thought of a clot or tumor in the brain. It was something worse - an infarction of the brain on the left side. (An infarction is death of an organ or part of an organ). She had lost forever a part of her brain on the left side which controlled speech and the limbs on the right hand side. Sri Chithira clearly said that if at all, only a marginal improvement could be expected. They confirmed that the treatment started here was correct and it would be enough to continue the same. Instances galore of stroke cases which improved or even became normal were quoted by many and all kinds of medical care were recommended. I was unwilling to deviate from authentic treatment and subject Aleykutty to trials and experiments. No medicine and no ingenious ways had yet been successful to resurrect dead tissue. Man may defy God but cannot defeat Him. Infarction of the brain in her case was a proven reality and it was only foolhardy not to accept it. In all humility let me say, I had the faith and courage to accept it and face it with trust in God.

Then children began to go back one by one at different intervals when their leave expired. Georgie had come with his family and went back leaving Usha and children here. This decision was theirs and it solved a great problem for me. That Usha would stay on and run the house was undoubtedly a heavenly blessing at this time. Later events were to prove that it was not merely for the immediate present.

Aleykutty showed some improvement. She seemed to understand what was spoken to her. She could slowly swallow tea spoon full of liquids. Doctor was telling us she could go home. So a wheel chair and a Red Cross Home Nurse were positioned at home and Aleykutty was taken home. She could neither get up nor sit up by herself. Muscle controls were also not normal. So all excretions were on the bed itself. She had to be lifted and held in position for feeding. Medicated oil was applied on the disabled limbs and massaged before sponge bath was given daily. Also physiotherapy was given to the limbs. Even if improvement was not possible, it would prevent the limbs and fingers from going stiff.

The nurse had a difficult job. Without any reservation, she performed her duties very satisfactorily. Every night she had to get up at all odd hours to attend on her patient. Whenever she could not manage herself, Usha and I were always at hand to help. (These Home Nurses are young girls who are given some practical experience to look after children, aged people, and sick persons wherever required. The nurse and the patient sleep in the same room. She does all things connected with the patient like feeding, cleaning, bathing, washing their soiled clothes, etc.)

As her condition improved slowly we tried to make her say small words in Malayalam (or English) which would indicate her daily requirements - such as get up, lie down, thirsty, etc. But she could not cope up. She could now chew and swallow solids. So oats or rice mixed with vegetables were given. She could understand us better and I used to sing hymns while sitting near her. She joined in the singing but alone she could not sing. So frequently we started singing together. Her words and tune were both correct. Eating and drinking improved.

After about four months we coaxed her to sit up on the bed with no one holding her but some one sitting near her as ample precaution. When she could do that we made her to stand up with one of us holding her. When she got confidence we encouraged her to take 3-4 steps to the nearest window. Holding on the window bars she could stand alone. Then we gave her a chair. She could sit and stand up on her own holding the window bar. Then we tried to bring her out of the room walking supported on either side, the one on the right side moving that leg forward for every step. She gradually gained confidence and soon with only one person supporting she could walk in limping fashion herself pulling forward the disabled leg. Thus everyday she came out of her room and sat on a chair looking toward the road. We would bodily lift her on to the wheel chair and take her around the house into each room one by one. She liked this because she could go to the rear of the house and sit in the kitchen or sit in front of the T.V. With help she could now get up from bed and sit alone for some time. She began using the commode, easing the job of the nurse a lot. She could take greater quantities of food. Supported she could limp to the attached bathroom, sit up on a stool and have bath. All these greatly encouraged her and almost the whole day she was out of her room limping from room to room and sitting in between on a chair. Too much walking caused pain and even swelling on the disabled leg and so wheel chair also was freely used to move about.

About this time the nurse left and another came in her place. She was almost a work-to-rule type. Red Cross had laid down duties and restrictions for them. Aleykutty used to go right up to the rear veranda walking all the distance but with one or two halts in between. She started taking all her food with the left hand using a spoon if necessary. Then she had her lunch everyday in the kitchen. On certain days she took even dinner in the kitchen.

These few months were a happy stretch of time. She was made to read a few verses from the New Testament. Two or three verses she would read with very little mistakes but then could not proceed further. Then we made her repeat two or three words at a time. Soon she would say enough. She seemed to get tired. She was examined by the physician and pronounced fit in all respects except for her disablility. She ate and drank well; spent most of the time outside of her room walking from room to room or on the wheel chair moving around the house. She listened to conversations and laughed heartily as was her wont. She sat up for family prayer, sang all hymns correctly and recited the Lord's Prayer also correctly.

At this time there was another change of Home Nurse because their term of stay was only six months. One year was over after Aleykutty was disabled. She now eagerly listened to all local news and those in the newspapers. Important events were read out to her. She enjoyed visitors and their conversation and listened with interest. There was every hope that she would continue in this normal state.

But that was not to be. She suffered a heart attack in July 93 and was hospitalized for about ten days. The new nurse, the third one, was altogether a different person from the previous ones. She took her job as a service. She was kind and tender hearted and loving. Always with a cheerful, smiling face there was an order and neatness in all her doings. While observing all the Red Cross rules, she showed love, sympathy, consideration and understanding when dealing with the patient. She was a devout Christian and in all her dealings with Aleykutty she would behave as a loving daughter. She massaged her to the tune of hymns reflecting faith, hope, and love. Physiotherapy was also accompanied by humming of hymns. And she had a melodious voice which made her singing more pleasing. All the time for giving bath and dressing her up would be singing time too. Aleykutty loved songs and hymns and so all these were music to her ears. Meanwhile, this girl, Melby by name, established a good relationship with Usha and became a good companion of the children also. In fact, within a short time she became a part of the household. Her conduct and behaviour, as well as her devoted service to Aleykutty so endeared her to all of us as to accept and treat her as one of us. This prompted us to ask her to continue here even after her stipulated stay of three months. (Red Cross had by now reduced the six months term to three months). With the consent of her parents she agreed to stay on. Her love and nursing of Aleykutty was in no way less than anything born out of filial love. I consider her and her service as one among the many special blessings that Aleykutty obtained during the most difficult period of her life. She too was happy with this girl.

Melby and I stayed in the hospital during all those ten days. Because of my difficulty in traveling, Melby commuted between the hospital and home to get food and for other needs. Such things are not in a Red Cross nurse's duties. It was only her nobility that did it. Returning home from the hospital Aleykutty was never again the same as before. Very slowly her eating habits changed daily. She found swallowing difficult. By October she could not take even half of what she used to take. This reduction in intake of food naturally made her weaker also.

At this time Lizzie came from U.K. and stayed for three weeks. She was so impressed by Melby's services that she called her "Melby the faithful," but she became concerned about her own mother. Her condition was worsening every day. As the difficulty in swallowing went on increasing, intake of food went down in like manner. Standing or walking became difficult; movements became completely on wheel chair, but she still went around in the house.

Owing to handling difficulties, but not so much due to driving problems, I disposed of the scooter in July 1991 and since then my movements are also restricted. Aleykutty's condition further restricted me to the house. And going to the hospital or sitting in committees late into the night became difficult particularly in the absence of my own transport. My requests, including a written resignation from the committee were not accepted. A new committee to replace the existing one was due in September ‘93 and I strongly represented that I may not be included in it. This was agreed to and I became free from all commitments outside the house. The next few months were the most difficult for Aleykutty and I am happy I could be near her the maximum time possible.

In mid-December 1993 while sitting on a cot and trying to take a sip from a glass held by me, Aleykutty fell straight backwards on the cot due to a heart attack. The situation was dangerous enough to cause concern as to what would happen. To our great relief she opened her eyes and began to breathe normally. At that moment Gracie walked in. We took Aleykutty to the Fellowship Mission hospital. Melby stayed with her. Her general condition only worsened at the end of a week's stay in the hospital. She had two or three momentary lapses also during these days. Doctor said her kidneys were not functioning properly and the measure of creatinine (a nitrogenous product) was on the high side. Food intake became still poorer. Even a single biscuit became too much; she could not even gnaw at it. Urine became thick and muddy. Passing urine also became less. She was moved to Muthoot hospital in Kozencherry for ultra-sound scanning to determine the condition of her kidneys. It revealed that her left kidney was completely not functioning while the other might be affected. Medicines did not help. Except for three or four teaspoons full of some liquid a day she could not take anything. She became very weak. She did not at all respond to any treatment. Her blood urea rose to dangerous proportions. Creatinine was dangerously high. Blood Pressure could not be controlled. Heart problems were lurking. I discussed her condition with the doctor.

At no time did we hide anything from her. She had a true picture of herself. The doctor opined that nasal feeding and dialysis were the only options left. Both were not cures but a prolongation of the agony. Neither I nor she was inclined to undergo those painful procedures. Straightaway she ruled them out by a firm 'NO' to the doctor. Then with great calm and composure she beckoned me to her side and in a clear, measured tone, said four words (in Malayalam), pregnant with meaning, which translates to "Now, back home, nothing else." One who could not speak, spoke those words clearly and emphatically. They were calculated words of firm determination and final decision. She betrayed no fear or disappointment. If anything, she was only happy. She had no doubts for she convinced herself that she was well on her way Home and nothing more need be done. In my heart of hearts I had no doubts either. It was now merely a question of time and patiently bearing it out by all. So she did not leave me. I knew she wanted my word. I assured her that we would not go any more to any hospital but would go straight home and stay put there only. She felt relieved and happy. She felt contented and peace reigned on her face. She now knew where her relief lay and with undaunted faith and courage looked forward to that day and moment. Melby and Gracie stood near by as silent witnesses. They too must have understood. It was evening, so the next morning we went home. Melby was of great help in the hospital. Jose came from Delhi and left within two or three days. He commuted between Muthoot and home.

The next few weeks were days of pain and agony for her; concern and anxiety for all of us. Gracie and children stayed here at home. Owing to swallowing problems she could not take any medications. Minor strokes, recognized as such or not, had deprived the throat muscles of their function making swallowing of even a few drops of liquid impossible. Perhaps two tablespoons full of any liquid would hardly be her daily consumption. This coupled with the kidney problem made urine thick and deeply coloured and the output too small. Her Angina revived. She now began to get chest pain almost daily. Once, it lasted continuously for more than a day. She could neither lie down nor sit up for 5-10 minutes at a stretch. This discomfort went on for days and one of us was always by her side both day and night. There was the danger of falling down while sitting due to weakness, pain or even sleeping and one had to sit by her side holding her. Melby and Gracie sat on shift between a little after midnight and morn. When there was no pain she moved about on the wheel chair on to which she had to be bodily lifted. She could nether sit up nor sing hymns but lying down kept awake for family prayer.

Melby was asked a few months prior to sleep in the adjacent room and I slept near Aleykutty on another cot. I take a late bath and go to sleep only around midnight. Even if asleep she would wake up on her own at that time for the bedtime prayer. In spite of her weakness she wanted to be out and moving about inside the house seeing and hearing things. From the early days when she could come out of the room she used to sit on a chair in the front room and facing the church would listen to all the proceedings in the church, be it a Sunday worship, a marriage or a funeral. She would join in the singing in the church.

Her weakness increased greatly and she lost so much in weight that one of us could easily lift her up bodily on to the wheel chair or the commode. In view of my back trouble she would not allow me to do that. Now, without fail one of us was always by her side. From the time she was disabled, as far as possible, I had made it a point to be available near her, or in the house. Returning from Muthoot I was always close to her and in the evenings we used to sit together for a long time looking out to the road in front, each wondering in mind, for how many days more.

February 20 was a Sunday. She listened to the church service and spent the day outside the room on the wheel chair. That day also she had her bath in the bath room. Melby noticed that she was not very steady while sitting. That night she woke up as usual for the bedtime prayer. I particularly commended her into the Lord's hands asking Him to grant her peace, courage, and hope.

On Monday 21st she was visibly more weak; but still was out and went around the whole house. Melby took her round on the wheel chair. Then she came and lay down on a cot looking towards the church in order to join the funeral service in church at 2 p.m. After telling her, I went to church for the funeral. Returning by about 3 p.m. she was transferred to the wheel chair and taken to the bedroom. She was too weak to sit in the bathroom so was given a sponge bath by Melby on the bed itself. Thereafter she had a sound sleep. She woke up about 6 p.m. and immediately called. Melby standing near by answered the call. She wanted to go out of the room. I went in and called Gracie and for the wheel chair. Instantly she had a massive heart attack, her eyes closed and the moment she was so eagerly longing and silently praying for had arrived. She was no more. Time 6 p.m., 21 February, 1994. She was running 75 years.

Gracie, Usha, all their children, Melby and I were near her. We rang up for Johny but before he arrived she passed away. Telephone calls went in all directions including children. The house was soon full. Atchen came. After prayer, the body was taken to and kept in the Fellowship Mission Hospital mortuary. Funeral was arranged for 3 p.m. on 24 Feb. Ben and Lizzie could not come. Jose was in Singapore and could not come. Mary from Ooty and Suzy from Muscat arrived; also Elsie from Delhi and Ranjit from his college in Madras. His Grace the Metropolitan officiated at the funeral. Many Atchens and a large gathering attended the funeral. Body was interred in the family vault. Her name stands as the fourth one on the vault for all posterity to see and remember.

Throughout the period of her disability and especially during the last few weeks of agony and pain she never showed any sign of sorrow or disappointment but instead, always maintained a cheerful frame of mind which reflected on her face too. She had no worries or unfulfilled wishes. All children are fairly well settled in life. For a short period she felt Gracie had no convenient house. But she came to know well before her end that

Gracie had acquired a house in Tiruvalla and felt happy when I reported to her after my visit to the house. For ten long years she massaged me and in later years when the two of us were alone in the house she paid special attention to my food also, so much so, she saw much before she was disabled that my health had improved considerably and that my problems being of a permanent nature could not have any greater improvement. This enabled me in turn to be of great help and service to her during her period of disability which, but for her devoted nursing of me, I would not have been able to do. Was it that she nursed me to strength that I may nurse her in her weakness?

She never showed any sign of anger nor had she any complaints. She held high her faith and trust in God which gave her the strength and courage to face her pain with patience and fortitude. This calm and meekness derived from trust in God might be the cause for a remarkable change on her face as death overtook her. Those who were around her and got her body ready for the mortuary all expressed surprise at that remarkable change after death. The weak and tired face looked as cheerful and bright as when she was in good health. It was so even at the time of funeral. She appreciated and drew strength from the prayers of the many relations and friends who visited us. Family friends from Tambaram also came. His Grace the Metropolitan visited her many times, both in the hospital and in the house and prayed for her comfort. Going without food or drink for days together did not distract her.

In her days of good health she had often told me, "Like a dove, I will fly off; I will sit in my Lord's lap." That was exactly what she did. And that is where she is now - in peace, perfect peace.

She began her toil from a very early age and passed through difficult times at home. Those experiences moulded her for the future and she showed her mettle in steadfastly pressing on in later life even amidst adverse conditions without counting the cost. The good Lord, Whose ways are perfect and Who works all things to our good, in His infinite wisdom and love, thought it time to give His child her well-earned rest and called her to His side to enjoy her Eternal Rest.