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Series 1, Episode 2
Vic enters singing The Age of Aquarius, brought on by Allad Jones who's he's been selling burnt shower caps and eyebrow wigs since his voice broke
Later on
Vic promises that later on, we will be meeting a Portuguese fisherman who's going to pull all his hair out and grill it with a delicious cheese topping, and a woman who grows some moss on stage and then she'll ramble on it and do a bit of grazing.
Les facts
Today we learn 1 les fact, he has a terrible fear of chives.
Vic listens to Les's mind and hears a rumbling sound
The Man with The Stick
The man with the stick won't reveal what's on the end of it. He has huge bushy ginger eyebrow wigs that he bought from Allad Jones stuck to his mask. The pictures on his mask this week are
1) El Diablo at the chiropodists having some lodged pasta removed from his hoof.
2) A shepherd's eyeball blocking up the exhaust of the mayor's helicopter.
3) 1840 - 1903
4) Bob Dylan running water through filter cup to catch dust for his little rabbit.
You wouldn't let it lie
The man with the stick tells Vic "That's a terrible pimple/spot you've got on you neck there." Vic isn't too pleased because he'd disguised it really well
Les
Vic leaves, saying a rambling group, Tinker's Rucksack will be coming on, and Les, wearing eyebrow wigs, sets up the stage. When he's done he goes to Vic's desk, and looks at himself in a mirror, then he looks around the back of the mirror to see where the image came from, then he picks up the spirit level and smiles until Tinker's Rucksack come on and he runs away.
Tinker's Rucksack
We meet the rambling group for the first time and they show us some games they play while they are rambling because "it's not all walking". Then they sing 'The Summer of '75'
In part 2, Vic gives advice about what to do with the stuff left in your house when you go on holiday. He makes a burglar deterrent using a washing up bowl, a cat, some felt tip pens and some rice, while Bob holds a lemon behind him.
Alan Davidson the foul mouthed fox
Les holds a gun ready to shoot the fox if he needs to. Vic and Alan talk for a bit, then they dance while Vic sings him a song. During the dance, one of the fox's legs fall off and Les aims the gun at it until Vic tells him it's OK so he goes backstage and accidentally shoots himself.
Novelty Island
Today's acts are:
1) Graham Lister Nibbles the comedy duck. In this very poor act, Nibbles the sort toy duck regurgitates shrimps when he hears Vic say any on the 10 commandments. Vic says 'Thou shalt not kill', 'thou shalt not covert thy neighbor's wife', and 'thou shalt not fanny about on a yacht'. This last one makes Graham angry at Vic for ruining his act and he storms off saying Vic probably doesn't know the 10 commandments.
2) The singing mound. This is a mound of earth and grass that sings.
3) Donald O'Mara, Mr. 45. This 45 year old who has been married 45 years and was born in 1945 plans to spit 45 peas through a 45 rmp. record whilst at an angle of 45 degrees. Unfortunately he falls while getting to the 45 degree angle.
4) Moreen Newton, the woman with the 50 foot arm. She is disqualified for not entering the paddock, but we do get to see the arm sticking out onto the stage.
Tonight's novelty island was judged by a little seagull. The winner's name was written on some paper attached to his leg. The winner was the singing mound.
The show ends with Bob, dressed as Rick Astley singing, but Vic interrupts dressed as Eric Morcambe and ruins it. Bob gets annoyed because pensioners were watching and Vic ruined it for them. Bob says Vic's got rig of the pimple/spot, so Vic says 'you wouldn't let it lie' again and then says that anyway, it's not a pimple/spot, it's a pimple/boil.
So what was on the end of the stick?
A turnip with a pencil stuck in it
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