For Queer Mice
The 12 Days After Christmas (Shopping Part II)
appy Holidays! My significant other got a new computer for Christmas, and faster than you could say "Auld Lang Syne" he was on the Internet shopping like it was 1999. So until he burned out the modem from overuse, for twelve days we reveled in gifts that our straight friends and family wouldn't dare buy us for Christmas. Sing along, won't you?
On the 1st day after Christmas my true love gave to me the Rainbow Card, a Visa that supports the gay and lesbian community. Your host Martina Navratilova at www.rainbowcard.com will gladly sign you up so you can purchase queer gear on the net. If your credit is bad (like mine), they'll send you a nice letter requesting you try again in seven years.
On the 2nd day after Christmas my domestic partner gave to me two Lightning Belts from www.circuitnoize.com/belts/. These belts flash a neon green making you impossible not to notice on the circuit club dance floor. They're either the hottest club accessory around or a tragic cry for attention. You decide.
On the 3rd day after Christmas my roommate gave to me three Scottish Kilts from edndale.com. The sassy Ed~n~Dale would love to see you in their long or short pleated plaids with six colors to choose from. A great gift to those who think boxers are too tight.
On the 4th day after Christmas my boyfriend gave to me four Rainbow Gaymes from www.lavenderpages.com. Prove just how big a queen you are with this game you probably didn't play in high school.
On the 5th day after Christmas my lover gave to me five Roman Rings. These handsome rings in Sterling and 14k shank with 14k domes and other wonderful items like queer picture frames, commitment items, and naughty mini-soaps are found at www.gayimpact.com.
On the 6th day after Christmas my bed buddy gave to me six Flavored Lubes from www.wetlubes.com. Choose between nine different flavors like Mango Orange, Wild Strawberry, or Pina Colada, or try to win a free flavor pack. Since they get hot when you rub and blow on it, it's one way to heat up your winter.
On the 7th day after Christmas my significant other gave to me seven Stained Glass Pieces made by "a couple of slacker dykes posing as artists" at pages.prodigy.com/LesboGlass/. Surprise your friends with these unique gifts of rainbow flags, gender symbols, and a Retro Jesus from Thesmophoric Creations.
On the 8th day after Christmas my spouse gave to me eight Sporty Sweatshirts from www.webmfg.com/pizazzactionwear/. Lisa and Pam at Pizazz offer several different designs on T-shirts, tank tops, sweatshirts, polos, denim, and henleys. Don we now our gay apparel!
On the 9th day after Christmas my ball and chain gave to me nine CD's for Dancing from www.masterbeat.com. Listen to song clips using Real Audio, and then decide between over 20 different CD's including Pride, the White Party, Sunday Tea, the Snow Ball, Flashback, and Seduction. I've got two of them so far and they're both fantastic. Highly recommended!
On the 10th day after Christmas my husband gave to me ten Rainbow Mouse Pads. Besides festive computer accessories, Incogneato has clothes, jewelry, cards, pet items, candles, ornaments, fabulous spring toys, and much more at www.beneato.com. The homosexual agenda memo board is a personal favorite! Why he got me ten mouse pads is beyond me, though.
On the 11th day after Christmas my "best friend" gave to me eleven Books for Browsing from A Different Light Bookstore Online. At www.adlbooks.com peruse queer literature from mystery to science fiction or from coming out to cookbooks. So throw a log on the fire and curl up with a good book and a lover.
On the 12th day after Christmas my bohunk of a man gave to me twelve Various Videos from www.wolfevideo.com. Start at Absolutely Fabulous, find a Man of the Year, and finally get the Xena Fan Club Kit all from Wolfe Video, home of the finest gay and lesbian entertainment. We were about to visit their erotic video section when the modem burned out. Damn.
When shopping online, make sure the site is secure before giving out credit card numbers, birthdates, and other numbers we don't want others to know. Have a festive holiday season and a happy New Year!
"For Queer Mice" appears in SLAM Magazine, the alternative bar rag for St. Louis. For more links, please visit my GAYDAR site (always under construction!). Know some good queer web sites? Please e-mail them to me! Thanks, and happy browwwsing!
Proud to be a member of Geocities West Hollywood.
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