| To The Death (1994) Cast:John Barrett,Michael Qissi,Robert Whitehead,Michelle Bestbier,Ted LePlat John Barrett stars as a kickboxer who trains to fight the group of thugs responsible for the death of his wife, at first he thinks it's his kickboxing rival (Qissi) Denard but in reality it's a promoter who motivates Barrett to fight in you guessed it "To The Death" matches, in this embarrassingly awful yet hilarious actioner. I remember seeing this a long time ago (When I was like a teenager) and remember it being okay as far as actioners went, so nine years later I decided to give this clunker a rent, and in there I found a movie so awesome in it's awfulness that I was very amused through out. For this movie is a classic for all the wrong reasons! Take this witty exchange. (The main bad guy has found out that his wife has slept with the movie's hero played by Barrett, which I can understand his anger, afterall Barrett isn't exactly the sharpest guy.) To Wit: "WHY?!, WHY?!, WHY?!, OH WHY!, OH GOD! I GIVE YOU EVERYTHING YOUR HEART DESIRES AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?!" The line is delivered so over the top and the facial expression so flat that this author doubts that any viewer could keep from getting the giggles. Yeah, To The Death is horrible movie, but the wiser viewer would've guessed that however the wisest of the wise wouldn't guess how jaw droppingly ludicrious and inept this thing is. The climax in particular is so badly done and laughable that it just needs to be seen to be believed. Qissi and Barrett are so invincible that Qissi in particular is able to literly hit bad guy's henchmen with a bow and arrow (Not a crossbow mind you, a simple compound bow and arrow!) while the bad guys fire millions of bullets at the two never hitting a damn thing. One wonders why a rich bad guy wouldn't use his money to actually hire a competent group of mercenaries, but alas nobody in this movie is that intellegent or for that matter bright enough to think about this problem. Personally I'd make everyone in the movie my village idiots. To The Death is a kickboxing flick so bad that it makes Kickboxer 2 seem like a work of Laurence Olivier. Indeed it's a wretched flick which fails to do anything right, but fans of something really awful are bound to go home happy with this exceptional clunker, I mean seriously how far has hell gone in a handbasket when some bright executive producer thinks that one American Kickboxer movie wasn't enough? Those however who don't appreciate the nature of enjoyably awful movies are well advised to avoid this as if it were a death sentence because well, this movie stinks! Really, really, really stinks! D.Darrel Roodt |
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