Chapter 14

 

Langres, France ~ May 25th, 1915

 

Satine sat sprawled out on her small bed in the room she shared with several other girls.  She looked onto a piece of paper by the dim light of a nearby lamp and held a pen tightly in her hand.  She kissed the tiny picture of Sara that she always kept close and began to write.

 

To my precious Sara,

 

How are you, darling?  Oh, I miss you so much it hurts.  I want to be there with you to hold your little hands and feet and to watch you grow.  I will be home soon, little one.  I hope that Satie and Chocolat are showing pictures of me with your Daddy because I want you to see your family.  Sometimes I wonder if I ever should have left; but then I think of the day that I will come home with Daddy.  One day we will all be together, I promise.

Mama loves you so much, baby girl.  And the moments will pass all too slowly until I can hold you close again.

 

A big hug and kiss,

Mama

 

Satine folded up the sheet of paper without reading it; knowing that if she did so, she would start crying and not be able to stop.  She sealed and addressed the envelope and put it on her rickety bedside table. 

          After combing out her soft, curly hair, she turned off the lamp and closed her eyes.  And as she did so, a short sob of longing escaped her lips for her sweet Sara.

 

Reims, France ~ May 30th, 1915

 

          Satie wiped his eyes after reading the letter that had arrived from Satine yesterday.  Inside, there had been a note for himself and Chocolat and then the letter to Sara that had brought him to tears.  It was so evident of how much she missed her child.        It was morning and Satie looked on at Sara’s petite, sleeping form and decided that even though she probably wouldn’t understand a word of it, he would read her the letter with a picture of her mother and father close by.

          “Good morning little girl…” Satie whispered into the crib as the second ray of sunlight shot into Sara’s room. She gurgled and her tiny 6-month-old hands went automatically to her eyes. They rubbed and Sara yawned as Satie smiled down upon the little joy.

          “Sara baby…come now, time to wake up,” he spoke gently, reaching down to pick her up. She whimpered a bit, but then snuggled into Satie’s shoulder and gurgled again.

          Choco?” he called into the kitchen.

          “Is she up?” Chocolat replied after drying his hands from cleaning the breakfast dishes.

          Satie carried tiny Sara into the kitchen humming a little song under his breath to keep her from crying. The bags under Satie’s eyes showed how much Sara had been waking up at night. During the day, she was as content as one could imagine, but after Satine had left, Sara was having trouble adjusting to the change at night. Her mother wasn’t there to sing her song and there was no familiar scent of her mother’s perfume floating through the house.

          But the gentle kind nature of Satie and Chocolat had given Sara a wonderful sense of hope for the future. She was cared for. As Satie fed her a bottle of warm milk, the sun shone on her beautiful face and he admired the sweet qualities she carried. She had her mother’s gorgeous curls already starting to blossom on the top of her petite head. Her hair was a deep brown like Christian’s. Her eyes looked out into the world curiously and innocently, reflecting her father’s to the tiniest detail. Her lips were dainty and soft like Satine’s as she sucked upon the bottle softly.

          Satie and Chocolat talked about their plans for that day and then the conversation faded as they lay their eyes on Sara, who was playing with Satie’s button on the top of his shirt. They didn’t say it out loud, but at that moment their thoughts turned to Satine and Christian. Had they found each other in the midst of horror?

 

 Langres, France ~ June 8th, 1915

 

          Satine blew a stray hair from her face and sat down for the first time in three hours. She’d been bustling around helping the wounded and comforting those in pain, emotionally or physically. She rubbed her temples and closed her eyes for a brief moment trying to relax when her friend approached her.

          “Satine, how are you doing?” Emma said cheerily, taking a seat next to her.

          “Oh…I’m alright. I’m quite tired…and…you know what? Actually, I change my mind; I’m doing very badly,” Satine finished and sighed again.

          “Oh, dear…tell me. What’s the matter?”

          “Well…it’s a long story. You sure you want to know?” she asked meekly.

          “No, I just want to sit here and be curious…of course I want to know!” she replied, laughing. Satine couldn’t help but smile back sadly.

          “Alright…well I’ll shorten it anyway. My husband is here…somewhere,” she said with a far off look in her eyes. “He…he came here looking for his sister’s love. She wrote him a letter practically begging him to come and fight in the war to find this man…and my husband hasn’t even seen his sister in-in…oh God, I don’t know how long. But the reason I came to become a nurse was so I could find him again. And I…j-just miss him. It’s more than that…I-I can’t explain it…I just miss him so much and I want a family again,” Satine eyes began to water.

          “Oh…Satine! I had no idea. Tell me; what’s the name of his sister’s sweetheart? For that matter, what’s your husband’s name?

          “The man’s name is Thomas…Hathaway, I believe. And my husband’s name is-”

          “Did you say Thomas Hathway…?” Emma interrupted, her face going white.

          “Y-yes…why? Who is he? What…”

          Emma’s face was stunned and she looked at Satine directly into her eyes.

          “Everyone called him Hal.”

          New tears formed in Satine’s eyes and she began to weep openly after comprehending the words she heard. She stood and began pacing around the room.

          “GOD…No…he came fight in this horrible war for…He’s dead…no!”

          Emma sat straight in her chair, leaning forward a bit with a concerned look on her face. She tried to reassure her friend.

          “Listen…it’ll be alright. You’ll find your husband and you’ll go home a-and-”

          “Emma…” Satine said simply sitting down again. “All I know is that I need Christian back.”

          “Christian…Christian…James?” Emma replied blankly.

          “Yes, that’s him-…no…God,” Satine’s eyes grew wide with terror in anticipation of news that she couldn’t possibly bear to hear.

          “No! No, he’s not dead…he didn’t die, it’s alright,” she said hurriedly, putting her arm comfortingly around Satine.

          Satine exhaled quickly and wiped away her tears.

          “Then…how do you know Christian?”

          “Christian James was one of the men who was captured by the Germans in May.”

          “Christian’s in…captivity? What…what are they doing to him???” Satine’s worry and sadness grew to passionate anger as she stood up once again and began walking around the room.

          “My dear Christian…oh he can’t fight those enormous Germans; he’ll die fighting…NO!” she sobbed and fell to her knees, hopeless.

          “Satine! Sweetheart, you can’t say these things!” Emma cried out and kneeled down by her on the dirt brown floor. “Listen to me…” she lifted Satine’s chin up so she was at eye level with her. “He will not give up hope. I can feel it; I know you’re going to get him back.”

          Satine sniffed and wiped her tear-stained cheeks.

          “Emma…This is all just so overwhelming,” she looked at her friend gratefully. “Thank you so much for dealing with me…I just can’t bear to think of him like that. And I dread telling him that his sister’s true love died fighting,” Satine closed her eyes, and simply took a deep breath. The breath felt so incredibly different from the one she took a few minutes before Emma had sat down and the world had fallen upon her shoulders.

          Emma took her arm from around Satine’s shoulder and took her hands in hers. A hint of excitement that reminded Satine of herself many years ago glimmered in Emma’s eyes.

          “I have a plan, Satine,” she whispered.

          “Anything…please,” Satine replied.

          “Here’s what we’re going to do…”

          Satine eyes grew wide with intensity and nervousness as the idea was explained to her. She knew there was no other way. Right away she began preparing and learning as much German as quickly as she could. Days turned into weeks, and after a few, Satine had mastered the basics of German. Emma and Satine had grown even closer as friends over the time Satine was being taught. They went over how they were going to find her Christian one last time before they went to carry out their plan.

          “Are you ready for this, Satine?” Emma spoke concernedly, her big brown eyes shining as they did. Her matching brown hair fell below her shoulders and blew in the warm June air. Satine looked down at her, being two inches taller than Emma.

          “…Yes. I should really be asking you if you’re ready. After all, you’ve never even met Christian,” she said plainly.

          “With the way you speak of him…I know I’d do most anything to help you get him back. I’ve never been in love; I feel like this is what I should be doing in my life right now. I want you to find the man you’re in love with…it’s the least I can do.”

          Satine’s eyes brimmed with tears of overwhelming gratefulness to her dear friend as she pulled her into a warm embrace. They parted and Satine brushed the tears coolly from her face. They were both nervous and they both knew it. They didn’t however need to say it out loud; that would have made the situation more unsettling.

          They began their journey, and Satine’s deep red cotton dress came to right above her knees, blowing a bit as they walked. Emma wore a dark green long summer dress, to blend with the trees. Satine and Emma walked in silence for several minutes, stopping once in a while to listen for voices. After ten minutes, they looked at each other, both hearing the German-speaking voice they’d been waiting for. It faded and they continued walking slowly until through the trees they saw the top of a barbed wire fence.

          Emma grabbed Satine’s hand and gave it one more reassuring squeeze as she went right as Satine continued forward. She closed her eyes a brief moment, thinking back to her days at the Moulin Rouge as a courtesan. The face came back to her as she put it on and took the step out of the forest into the ring of dirt ground surrounded by trees. Half of the barbed wire fence was sticking out of the forest, but what or who was inside was barely visible.

          Wer geht dort?” the lone German soldier boomed from around the side of the fence. Satine thought quickly…who…who goes…who goes there?

          Ich sind verloren, können Sie mir helfen, Sir?” I’m lost, can you help me sir? she replied smoothly, remembering exactly how it was taught to her.

          The man began to ask where she was going, but faded out as he rounded the corner to see Satine’s luscious figure under the dusk sky. She put her hand to her thigh and rubbed her palm up and down seductively.

          Ich bin so kalt…” I’m so cold…Satine whimpered. She faked a shiver and stood like a baby animal wanting to be held. The German soldier couldn’t physically stop moving forward, swaying a bit in a cocky way.

          Sie schauen kalt,” he said. You look cold. Satine couldn’t help but think what an absolute moron this man was. She decided to lower herself to his way of thinking. He thought he was in control while he didn’t know how much he would lose in a matter of moments.

          Tun Sie Sie so...hergekommen.” So do you…come here.

          He smiled and grunted as his boots crunched the ground, making his way to Satine, who heaved her breasts and opened her mouth slightly. She was hating every second of it, but hiding her hate well. His hands reached out hungrily and his fingers grabbed Satine roughly around her tiny waist and groped down her hips as he stared down into her eyes with lust.

          A sound was heard from behind the man, and he nearly turned around instinctively, but Satine stopped him by doing something she had dreaded. Satine moved her hand quickly in between his legs and ran her fingers over his tight pants. He was no longer distracted. His eyes rolled up and he groaned as Satine continued stroking him through his clothes, fighting back tears. Next to telling Christian she didn’t love him, so long ago in Paris; this was the most difficult thing she had ever done.

          Just as the man was beginning to reach for Satine’s dress, Satine exhaled shortly as he was hit hard over the head with the butt of a large rifle. Emma stood panting as the German soldier stumbled around and finally fell sprawled onto the ground. Satine let out a choked sob and then pushed the tears away as she looked on to what she came to do.

          “A-are you alright?” Emma whispered.

          “…I’m fine. Now, where are his keys?” Satine said back, wiping her forehead and looking down at the unconscious man. His keys were attached to his belt, and Emma reached down to unlatch them and hand them to Satine.

          “Thank you,” Satine said.

          “Sure…”

          “No, I mean, truly. Thank you so much for helping me. I…I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

          Emma smiled and gestured for her to open the lock to the barbed wire fence. She turned and fit the first key into the lock, and turned it. She stepped into the secluded area and looked around, her breathing short. Her eyes locked onto a figure sitting on the ground. His chin was to his chest and he was making small guttural noises. His hands were at his face and he was rubbing them slowly over his eyes. Satine could barely speak.      

          “Christian…”

 

 

Chapter 13   Chapter 15

 

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