Chapter 15

 

Langres, France ~ June 30th, 1915

 

          “Christian?” Satine croaked out again. 

          Once her moment of shock wore off, she ran as fast as her legs could carry her and threw herself to her knees in front of him.  He was fiercely trembling and when she rested a hand on his arm, he let out a small cry and started whimpering, “Please, no.  No, not again…please.”

          Satine brought her fingers to his lips to quiet him and he winced in fear of a painful blow.  “Darling, it’s me,” Satine breathed, caressing his scratched face.  “It’s me, I’m here.  You’re going to get out.”

          “S-s-satine?” Christian shuddered.  She wrapped him in her arms and thought desperately of something to calm him enough so that she could get him out of this hell hole. 

          Brushing her lips against his ear, Satine sang, just barely above a whisper, “Come…what…may…”

          With chocked sobs escaping his lips, Christian threw his arms around Satine and held onto her so tightly; she was finding it hard to breathe.  She stroked his matted hair as he slowly comprehended that it was her beside him.

          “Christian, I need you to stand.  Can you do that for me?” she asked.  He nodded slowly and she helped him up onto his shaking legs.  “Yes, yes darling,” Satine smiled.    She kissed his rough, chapped lips and put her arm securely around his shoulders.  “Now, if you can just run as fast as you can to the outside of the gate,” she said.

          “No,” Christian cried, shaking his head violently.

          Satine was quickly beginning to feel defeated.  “Please Christian, we can’t go at the same time, there’s too much risk of us being noticed.”

          Christian slowly turned towards the gate and whimpered when he saw the large German soldier sprawled out on the ground.  Satine could tell he was deathly afraid of the big oaf.  She didn’t even want to think about what her Christian had been put through.  But time was running out, he could wake up at any moment and then they would both be trapped.  Emma was at the gate, waving them on frantically.

          Christian swallowed hard.  “You’ll come too?” he asked pitifully.

          Satine nodded and felt a tear run down her face.  “I’ll hold you all the way back to camp, my love.”

          With that, Christian reluctantly let go of Satine’s hand and dashed through the fence to Emma.  When Christian was safely across, Satine ran faster than she ever thought she could move.

          Just behind her, she thought she could here a moan from the German soldier, but she was running much too fast to look back and know for sure.

************

          There was red and white all around her and she was surrounded by all the love in the world. Christian stood beside her, not being able to stop smiling and he wouldn’t take his hand from Satine’s; not for anything. As if reading her thoughts, he leaned in and whispered into her ear.

          “I’m never letting you go, Satine…”

          “I love you so much,” Satine whispered back, letting two tears of joy roll down her cheeks.

          “Let’s leave…”

          “Leave? Wha-…the show?”

          “I don’t care about the show…we’ll leave tonight,” Christian uttered, looking deeply into her eyes, not letting her look away.

          “Yes…God-I love you, Christian,” Satine smiled and wrapped her arms around her true love.

          “I love you too, darling…never forget that…never…never…”

 

Satine awoke to rumbling thunder and large drops of rain splattering on the tent.  Christian had quickly fallen asleep after she had helped him clean up and rub alcohol on his numerous cuts and scrapes.

          She had been terribly alarmed at the sight of him.  She was prepared to see him in bad condition, but no where near how she found him at the camp.  She could barely tell it was him.

          Satine felt her heart ache as she leaned on her side to gaze at Christian. 

          He was shaking violently, his muscles clenched so tight that shots of wrenching pain were moving up and down his body.  He began mumbling incoherent words and his face was covered in glistening beads of sweat.  He was soon startled awake by Satine’s lips just grazing his cheek.

          Christian sat up, his heart hammering in his chest.  Wh-what?  Is it-is it time to get up al-already?” He muttered, trying to catch his breath.

          “No darling,” Satine whispered, coming up to be at his level.  “You were shaking and I was worried about you.”  She enveloped his trembling hands and traced the outline of his fingers.  “Tell me what’s wrong.”

          Christian closed his eyes and swallowed hard.  “Dreams,” he sputtered.  “Dreams about this war.  Hate, death…oh God, Satine, I want it to stop.”  Christian’s eyes began to well up with tears like a frightened child.

          “Christian…” she murmured as she ran her hand along his face to cup his tear stained cheek.  Christian quickly jerked away, embarrassed by his surge of emotion.  He had gained some of his sanity back since Satine had found him at the German camp, but he still felt as if his soul was being taken away.

          Satine lifted his chin, gently forcing him to face her.  “It’s all right to cry.”

          It tore Satine apart to see Christian like this.  Her handsome, sensitive poet was a broken man.  The war had done this to him, but she made a promise to herself at that moment; no matter what obstacles came in her way, she would get her husband back.  Come what may…

          “We need to get you out of this,” Satine whispered, sliding her fingers under the nightshirt that stuck to his clammy skin.

          Christian shivered as Satine’s fingers grazed across his abdomen and up his chest as she pulled the nightshirt over his head.  She cringed as she felt all the cuts across his tired body. 

          Satine nuzzled his face and placed soft hands on his tense shoulders and guided their joined form back to the mattress.  She made sure he was facing her; eye to eye, heartbeat to heartbeat.

          In one slow, fluid motion, Satine draped her leg across Christian’s hips and covered his face in gentle caresses.  She ran her foot along the backs of his thighs and calves; slowly easing his tensed muscles.  Christian whimpered into her neck at the soft touch.  It had been far too long since Satine had cloaked his body in such love.

          She kept his head rested against the crook of her neck while she massaged the tight muscles of his shoulders and back.  Satine began to hum a hushed melody and quietly sang into his ear; 

 

When all the others

Have gone and hurt you

Who won’t desert you

It will be me

Weighing the options

So much to think of

But when you think love

It will be me

 

You may not see it now

Love is strange that way

But someday, somewhere

Baby somehow

 

When you’ve been broken

And dreams don’t oblige ya

Who’s that beside ya

Oh, it will be me…

 

Satine stopped singing when she felt Christian flinch.  He was clutching the side that Satine had just massaged.  A surge of panic filled her, thinking that something was wrong.  She fumbled about until she found some matches.  She quickly lit the oil lamp and removed Christian’s hands.  Satine winced when she saw the enormous bruise covering the fair skin across his ribs.  She gave the injury a feather light kiss, silently cursing whoever had done that to her sweet boy.

          Taking Christian in her arms once more, she rested his head onto the pillow.  She snuggled into him and Satine gave a bittersweet smile when, even through his fear, Christian’s trembling arms wrapped her into a tight embrace as they fell asleep to the sound of the rain.

 

 

~“It Will Be Me” Faith Hill

 

 

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