REVIEWS:
Post your comments about The Donnas
(reviewed by Kevin Baker)
Answer me this one question, grass-smoker - what do males between the ages of 15 and 30 like more than chicks who dig hard rock, sex, and partying? If your answer is something other than "nothing," you're gay, or a Republican. Well, ok, you COULD be a Baptist, but Baptist and Republican are practically synonyms, unless you go to Baylor, in which case neither term means jack crap. But back to the point. Basically, The Donnas are four chicks who like to make music, as long as that music is loud, raucous, and up-tempo. You will not find a ballad on this entire CD, and I'm hard-pressed to think of a mid-tempo number. These songs, while by no means thrash-speed or rip-your-eyebrows-off fast punk, aren't nice slow little ditties to play for your mommie. They're wild, much like the girls making the music.
Well, I assume they're wild - I don't know them personally. I've met people like them, though. At any rate, this entire album is about sex (though never in explicit terms), partying, drinking, and being, in a word, wilder than Cooter Brown. OK, that was more like 4 words (3 if you count Cooter Brown as a Texasism and one word), but you get the idea.
So, how exactly is the music? The Donnas definitely go for the whole garage rock feel - some would probably call them punk, but not me - they may have attitude, but they're not nihilistic, they have guitar solos, don't mind songs over 2:30, and so on. The guitars owe something to early punkers such as the Ramones, but that's about the end of the punk connection in my definition of the word. And they're loud, ladies and gentlemen - dang loud. They enjoy playing at volumes suited to keeping Manuel Noriega awake for days on end, and they seem to be very proud of this fact.
The songs themselves are a mixed bag. They definitely take a bad girl approach to lyric writing, but unfortunately, these bad girls had severe hangovers during high school English, so the lyrics blow, suck, bite, lick, and in general aren't so great. I could write better lyrics in my sleep, and probably have. They DO however try to come up with a melody for each song, and in some cases create memorable ones. The best songs on this humble, yet louder than Rod Roddy's jacket, musical offering are the ones that marry the attitude, the volume, and the melodies together. My personal favorite is the radio hit Take It Off - what guy could resist a bunch of hard rockin' chicks practically begging you for a little bit of the midnight mojo madness? Other notable cuts include Take Me To The Backseat, whatever the name of the song that follows that one is, and Who Invited You.
There IS one problem that sets in, however - the first four tracks sound like dynamite, but the next few...erm, not as good. Specifically, Dirty Denim can go play with itself - it's a horrible song. Apart from that, I suppose the principal problem is the boredom factor - it isn't until track 12 (the next to last!) that the girls hit their stride again and play a song that sounds like something new and fun. That's not to say that tracks 6-11 are bad; they're all at least bearable, BUT are severely overshadowed by the opening 4 and closing 2. So really, only half this cd is notable material - the rest is just kinda there...fun while it's playing, but out of mind the instant the song ends.
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COMMENTS
correct me if i'm wrong ,asswipe! but i loved those cute sexy babes! oh! my wet dream is coming! anyhow they fucking rock! just like the motherfuckin' spice girls! i like the donnas better than yes! too stuffy and boring!
[about a month later:]
i taped a short live concert of the donnas! short but sweeet!!!!!!! man that bass player! she has a great pair of jeans! the drummer is sooo coool ! she bangs like meg white! IMAGINE THAT! then the lead player! ooooo she plays solos! thank gods! she does not play like a nu metal ass chump! she can kick linkon farts ass anyday! the singer ! oh yeah! she can titilate male guys like me! the donnas started as the electrocutes! then they made 2 indie albums! the donnas and american skin tightpants ooooo! is that it? then they made turn21! I WILL BE BAYYBAH! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE DONNAS TEAR AND POUND! FROM NYC THE BIG APPLE TO THE WINDY CITY! THEY ARE NOT A LOUNGE ACT! THEN THEY COVERED THE TWO SONGS! JUDAS PRIEST'S LIVING AFTER MIDNIGHT AND KISS' STRUTTER! SPEND THE NIGHT! BOOM! YOU KNOW THOSE GIRLS ARE NOT GONNA RUN OUT OF GAS! HEY TWO THINGS I GOTTA ASK YOU! FUCK RAP! COCKSUCKERS WHO CANNOT SING WORTH A SHIT THEY SMELL MORE THAN MY BALLLLS! AND THE OTHER THING IS CHECK OUT THIS SEXY ANIMATED PIC ! CHECK THIS SITE TO FIND OUT! BOO YAH!
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