ALICE COOPER

An appropriate introduction will follow eventually, but on an important discography note, every album released from 1969-1974 is by Alice Cooper the band (i.e. Alice Cooper - vocals, Glen Buxton and Michael Bruce - guitars, Dennis Dunaway - bass, and Neal Smith - drums), while everything from 1975 onward is by Alice Cooper the solo artist.

--Nick Karn

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alice cooper was the teenage hero of the anti sweet 1970's! he did create the horror stuff that shocked the religious pussies! HE BEGAN AS A NOBODY IN THE UNDERRATED PRITTIES FOR YOU THEN HE MADE EASY ACTION! BUT IT WAS NOT UNTIL HE JOINED BOB EZRIN(PINK FLOYD KISS) TO PRODUCE KILLER AND LOVE IT TO DEATH! BOTH WERE HITS! THEN SCHOOL'S OUT THE TEEN ANTHEM! THEN CAME BILLION DOLLAR BAIBES! HIS STAGE SHOW IS MORE CRAZY AND THEATRICAL! THEN CAME WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE! BUT HE SIDEWINDED INTO TWO FLOPS MUSCLE OF LOVE AND ALL THAT! THEN GOT SPACY IN THE NEW WAVE ERA BEFORE GETTING HIS COMEBACK! TRASH! AND HEY STOOPID WERE OPOP METAL HITS BUT HEALSO CHOOSES HARDER METAL STUFF LIKE DRAGONTOWN AND BRUTAL PLANET! ALICE IS GOD!

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RECHECK YOUR DATES AND FACTS,,,ESPECIALLY,ALICE'S FIRST COUPLE OF ALBUMS..

LOVE IT TO DEATH (1971)

(reviewed by Nick Karn)

HIGH POINTS: Caught In A Dream, I'm Eighteen, Ballad Of Dwight Fry.  LOW POINTS: Black Juju.

Well, it looks like Alice and the band finally broke through to the teenage youth of America on this one, and so it was here on this album that most consider the very start of their legacy - the beginning of the 'shock rock' kind of thing in the early 70's, if you will. That aspect of the band, however, is probably more limited to their stage shows, and in the musical sense, the two lengthy epics here that combined take up well over a third of the album (I'll be getting to those later, though). The actual sound here, however, owes itself more to the garage rock style of the 60's and early 70's, with very hook-filled melodies, classic riffs, and those lyrics of alienation and stuff like that. You know, kind of like what The Who used to write. Sounds like the makings of a great rock classic, doesn't it? Well, Alice Cooper (both the band and the frontman) weren't known for their inconsistencies on record for nothing, and this one's not really an exception to the rule.

But first, let's get to the good stuff on here, and these songs alone make the record worthwhile listening. Most of the truly great ones, in fact, come within an opening three song punch of classic hard rock. "Caught In A Dream" and especially "I'm Eighteen" both have exceptional main riffs and vocal hooks that will get stuck in your head for awhile. The latter one in particular may be more telling of the youthful society with lyrics like 'I'm eighteen and I don't know what I want' and 'I've got a baby's brain and an old man's heart'), but the former has just as much hit potential in its' memorability and energy, if not more. "Long Way To Go" is slightly weaker, but it's still very thrilling as a faster take on the form, with a nice punkish rawness to it, enough to be quite singable and exciting. Oh, and I should also mention that in these days, guitarist Michael Bruce wrote quite a few of these early songs (including getting sole credit for the first and third of them here). Remember that before you start trying to give all the credit to Alice.

Unfortunately, the album gets a bit uneven afterwards from the point where the band decides to go into epic goth territory - specifically, with bassist Dennis Dunaway's 9 minute "Black Juju". It's not really a bad attempt, since it has its' good qualities like the sped up ending and Alice's screams over the organ here and there, but it's really not arranged very well (overlong!), the atmosphere sounds pretty fake and non-threatening, and it so obviously sounds like a second rate Doors imitation ("The End"). A couple of the other tracks on side two aren't really all that great either - I guess "Hallowed Be My Name" is decent, but it really doesn't do anything to even compare with the better garage rock that opened up the album, just kind of generically sitting there, and I can't remember all that much about "Second Coming" other than that haunting piano line that leads into its' followup song...

Which would happen to be the second epic of the record, "Ballad Of Dwight Fry", a song that works much better than its' predecessor did. It's a sort of dark acoustic turned hard rock number arranged in a slightly artsy style, and it's genuinely creepy, from the haunting lyrics ('I saw a man who was choking there...') to the awesome, constant screams of 'I gotta get out of here!' in the middle. I also think it's fascinating how it segues into the last track "Sun Arise", some completely bizarre folky novelty number that's about the last thing one would expect from an album like this. It's funny, though, with that over the top 'whoa-o-oa' chanting at the end that fades out the album on a curious note. There's also another minor highlight in this one's other Greatest Hits representative (besides "I'm Eighteen", of course), the more bass-heavy rocker "Is It In My Body", which probably has one of the more engaging hooks on here ('have you got the time to find out / who I really aaaaaaam...'). Fine stuff it is. An inconsistent effort for sure, but there are several total gems that you'd miss if you just stuck with that particular hits album, so get this one, too.

OVERALL RATING: 8

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KILLER (1971)

(reviewed by Nick Karn)

HIGH POINTS: Dead Babies, Under My Wheels, Be My Lover, Desperado.  LOW POINTS: You Drive Me Nervous.

Here's some more Cooper paradise for you, as Alice and the gang get a bit more focused this time out, and really make the shock rock thing part of their schtick.  Look, I realize here in the 21st century that this stuff sounds a bit tame now, but I can easily see why people would have been bewildered by a few of these tracks back in '71, specifically, the three lengthy epics throughout.  Remember the amateurish and almost laughable attempt at scaring the audience with "Black Juju" from the last album?  Well, that's been replaced by a more gripping approach to the longer tracks on here, the last two of which probably freaked out parents everywhere.  Even many of the more accessibly catchy garage rockers pack quite a harder punch than last time, and as far as listenability goes, this is an even more consistent album than Love It To Death, though I would personally say the high points are a bit stronger on that one.  But let's proceed to the songs.

In my mind, the whole album seems to be divided into two categories - the uptempo rockers and pop numbers on one hand, and the serious, depressing, and 'scary' pieces on the other, with an equal balance between both on each side, with the songs in the former category creating a deceptive outlook for the rest of the album.  Particularly strong in this respect is the rousing "Under My Wheels", in which Alice takes on this great growling vocal intonation over a really catchy melody (I always get a kick out of the 'telephone keeps ringing / you got me on the run' opening lines) and guitar riff, plus the horn parts only add to the excitement here.  There's also an overlooked gem within this vein in the singalong "Yeah, Yeah, Yeah", which showcases a neat interplay with the vocal melody and guitar line (and a novel appearance of a harmonica later on!), and one clear throwaway in the ugly-sounding "You Drive Me Nervous", whose only memorable feature is its' simplistic chorus.  At least it's short, though.

The most interesting curiousities here, though, are the two other singles, one (sort of) from the first category, and the other (sort of) belonging to the second. "Be My Lover" is an almost 'sensitive', but kinda tongue-in-cheek ballad featuring another wonderful vocal melody and slowed-down ending portion, with the immortal line 'she asked me why the singer's name was Alice / I said, "Listen baby, you really wouldn't understand'.  Plus, the ballad "Desperado" seems seriously possessed by the ghost of Jim Morrison - Alice very much takes on that kind of vocal intonation throughout much of the song, and the lyrics are somewhat of a tribute to the Lizard King.  The cool feature of this song, though, is how that really depressing guitar line which appears throughout effortlessly weaves around the haunting vocal melody and the occasional orchestration.

The other three songs, though, come in the form of extended epics.  The first of these, the 8 minute "Halo Of Flies", isn't really spectacular by any means, since it's not all that memorable and can drag at points, but it's still much more well thought out and focused than "Black Juju" could ever hope to be.  The gradually building eerie guitar (and keyboard?) parts are a good counterpart to the numerous multiple melodies (like in that neat thrashy part and the breakaway second half, which later develops a nice orchestral vibe later on) and the 'halo of fliiiiiiiiiiiiiies...' screams in the middle.  I also have to say that the drumming is quite good here as well.  The closing title track also boasts an atmosphere that might be very creepy (with the hopeless guitar line and chanting contributing here), but again, it suffers a bit on account of forgetting to have terribly interesting melodies.  Only a little, though, as it does work as a chilling mood piece.

Or maybe it just seems to pale somewhat coming right after its' predecessor "Dead Babies", a truly scary moment in the Alice Cooper catalog if there ever was one.  Well, at least the verses are, with the quiet vocals over the ominous bassline telling tales of children who tragically end up in the graveyard due to their parents' unwatchful eyes.  To no surprise, the subject matter gained Alice and the band quite a bit of controversy, but regardless of that, this is a positively awesome song, and Killer's shining moment. Not just because of the verses - the heavier chorus ('dead babies... can't take care of themselves...') is highly effective, with the almost sing-along backing 'da da da' vocals providing a twisted contrast at the end, and you just have to love that intense middle section ('goodbyyyyeeeee little Betty....').  Great, great stuff.  Again, Killer does have some slight inconsistency here on the part of a couple of the longer pieces, but there's more than enough excellent moments here to make it one of 'shock rock's best moments as a whole.

OVERALL RATING: 8.5

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KILLER IS CONCEPT ALBUM ABOUT A PSYCHO NAMED SID! FOR UNDER MY WHEELS HE GETS INTO HIS CAR RAMMING PEOPLE! THEN CAME BE MY LOVER! A SONG ABOUT SID MEETING A HOOKER. HALO OF FLIES IS ABOUT TO ATTACK!!!!! YEH YEH YEH! DESPARADO IS A TRIBUTE TO THE LIZARD KING DEAD BAIBES IS SPOOOKY!! BUT KILLER IS A FINALE! HE MEETS A COP THEN SHOOTS HIM IN THE HEAD! THE KILLER NEVER DIES ! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

SCHOOL'S OUT (1972)

(reviewed by Nick Karn)

HIGH POINTS: School's Out, My Stars.  LOW POINTS: Blue Turk.

Hmm.  I guess the idea of 'rock theater' has really set in at this point, as Alice Cooper try their hand at a ridiculously overblown concept record of 'showtunes' with the songs vaguely connected by some sort of presumbably school-related concept that I'm not really too interested in.  But what I do know is that the end result is that the actual song quality here is a bit of a letdown from the previous two albums - the guys became so involved in the pomposity and sillyness of the presentation, it seems that in several cases they've forgotten about stuff like... uh... exciting musical twists, awesome hard rock riffs, and really catchy melodies. Okay, the material here hardly falls flat on its' face or anything as if it's bad Broadway stuff - in fact, almost all of these songs are very enjoyable listening individually, but with one or two exceptions, there's not really anything that really makes you want to give into the concept.

But the undeniable best song here, the 50 second interlude "Street Fight", certainly does - what a great bassline and clever use of sound effects to make it sound like a brawl's really going on inside your speakers!  No seriously, I'm not even going to begin trying to deny the title track its' place in immortality - it's probably one of the quintessential rebellious hard rock songs of the early 70's, with its' chorus chant of 'schooooool's out for summer!', the truly fantastic opening riff, and equally singable sort of 'middle eight' portion.  Plus, I really love the hilariously clever lyrics in parts: 'well we've got no 'class' / and we've got no 'principles' / we can't even think of a word that rhymes!'  Brilliant!  Not surprisingly, it sets quite a standard at the beginning that nothing else even seems to try to approach in quality, though the brilliantly operatic rolling piano line and dynamically melodic structure of "My Stars" certainly counts as another highlight for me. That's one fine epic.

The remainder of the album?  It's somewhat on the ridiculous side, but not in a bad way!  Sure, it does get weak in places (the overlong "Blue Turk" mostly rides on a boring clavinet groove and ensuing jam and rips off the chorus melody from "Ballad Of Dwight Fry") and a little corny in others (the spoken megaphone bit "Alma Mater" sounds neat in theory, but I'm not sure what it's supposed to accomplish), but elsewhere, I don't really have many complaints.  I don't really have praises either, but "Gutter Cat Vs. The Jets" is another groovy piece of theatricality, "Luney Tune" conveys the tension that an escaped mental patient feels very well in its' simplistic, but nice riff and horn-filled 'I can't find the exit...' middle, and "Grande Finale" wraps up a couple of earlier themes musically in a somewhat overblown, but engaging, 'marching band' instrumental.  Even "Public Animal No. 9" could be considered a tossoff, but the surprisingly addictive groove and hilarious growling from Alice at the end saves it.  Again, other than the title track, there's nothing really that brilliant here, and if you hate this kind of showtune based stuff, stay away, but to my ears at least, a good amount of this material sounds like fun.

OVERALL RATING: 7

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SCHOOL'S OUT WAS A CONCEPT ALBUM ABOUT LONG HAIRED STUDENTS VS. THE TEACHERS! NOW CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG BUT I DO LOVE THE BLINK 182 VIDEO FEELING THIS I TAPED IT THEN THE CONCEPT WORKED FROM DAY ONE! RIOTS!! SEX !! PANTY SHOTS! MMMMMM! THE TITLE TRACK ROCKED!!!!!!!!!!!! THE ALICE/EZRIN TEAM WORKED WHY DO YOU DISS EZRIN ???????? I LOVE HIS PRODUCTION!

BILLION DOLLAR BABIES (1973)

(reviewed by Nick Karn)

HIGH POINTS: Billion Dollar Babies, Unfinished Sweet, Elected, Hello Hooray, No More Mr. Nice Guy.  LOW POINTS: Sick Things.

After putting too much style over actual musical substance on School's Out, this one's somewhat of a comeback after the mild disappointment of the last.  Not only that, but Billion Dollar Babies is very often considered to be the best Alice Cooper album of all time, and there are very good reasons for that kind of thinking - the important theatrical elements are still here, sure, but they're also balanced out by quite catchy melodies, dynamic song arrangements, and a hint of the more 'garage' style the band was only a couple years removed from.  So do I agree with that fan assessment?  The answer is almost - the first half here represents Alice at the height of their powers in clever, exciting songwriting, yet the second one shows the inconsistencies of before taking  over a bit as the album kinda drifts off toward the end.  But still, this is a pretty entertaining listen, with several great songs.

In fact, the hits and well-known songs on here might be my personal favorite group of Alice singles - and the most notorious one, the second half opener "No More Mr. Nice Guy", is actually my least favorite of these.  Not that it's bad at all - in fact, it's a very effective, catchy dose of straightforward hard rock, with a particularly distinctive riff, a rebellious though curiously 'smooth sounding' arena chorus, and an amusing last verse about how 'my cat bit me on the leg today / my cat clawed my eye'.  It's just that I enjoy the other side one songs even more - "Elected" finds Alice actually campaigning for President in this one, with such a bombastic atmosphere around the melody and horn-driven music that you can actually feel him yelling toward the crowd, driven by a spectacular epic chord sequence within the chorus, a simultaneously powerful and hilarious spoken portion as it fades out, and an excellent hook.

Also of note is the opening cabaret-style tune "Hello Hooray", another hugely intended statement that may be somewhat overdramatic. But it's overdramatic in a good way - the orchestrated backing, the 'I feel so strong...' refrain, the guitar soloing, and excellent vocals (Alice takes an almost Greg Lake style intonation here!) all make for a surprisingly effective song in spite of itself.  But even that one is eclipsed by my two favorites on the album - where else are you gonna find a dynamic epic where the main character goes on a 'visit' to the dentist besides "Unfinished Sweet"?  Even if it has a main melody suspiciously close to "Elected", the music effortlessly shifts from hard rock to creepy atmospheric sections, with neat 'drilling' sound effects in between, and the other vocal hooks that appear in the song are catchy as hell.  To a lesser extent, "Raped And Freezin'" is also a minor hard rock gem whose most effective feature within the darker lyrics is in its' great 'muffled' Latin ending.

My favorite on the whole album, though, has to be the title track, which makes spectacular use of backing vocals and insanely infectious fast-paced melodic bursts - I love how that creepy, but strangely funny, chorus is sung by Alice and spoken at the same time, as the whole thing produces a simply awesome entertaingly poppy effect.  But as I mentioned before, unfortunately, the album loses a bit of its' greatness down the stretch - none of the songs are awful (though the lame snail-paced horn filled Broadway monster "Sick Things" comes close, as the melody and tempo are incredibly plodding), but not too special either. "Mary Ann" is just a standard piano driven showtune (although a catchy one) and "I Love The Dead" attempts to be a shocking closing epic with its' necrophilian subject matter, but just comes off as too gimmicky and overblown in spite of an excellent melody.  At least the folky rant "Generation Landslide", idiosyncratic bouncy hook and all, has very interesting lyrics, though not exactly spectacular.  Still, those first six songs are more than enough for me to call this album one of Alice Cooper's best, though not quite as good as Killer, even if not far off.

OVERALL RATING: 8

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MUSCLE OF LOVE (1973)

(reviewed by Nick Karn)

HIGH POINTS: Big Apple Dreamin' (Hippo), Muscle Of Love, Never Been Sold Before.  LOW POINTS: Crazy Little Child.

The last Alice Cooper Band album before Alice himself would go solo (and forever change the course of humanity's progression with his absolutely brilliant later efforts), and it's also the one from this period not many seem to mention all that much.  Sure, it can hardly be called a classic album, but I do find it to be a little overlooked - there are several songs on here really worthy of your attention, and not just the singles either.  Plus, it's not really any less consistent of a listening experience as his other slightly uneven albums, so that's a plus.  Anyway, the sound of Muscle Of Love rightly forecasts the tension in the band just in the song material - it sounds as if Alice and the band are fighting in which direction to go.  Straightforward hard rock?  Overblown showtunes?  Both of them can be found, though admittedly, the former seems to be winning out here, even if the latter would be victorious in the end.

But the songs are the most important thing, and this album does indeed start off like it's going to rule.  The opening "Big Apple Dreamin' (Hippo)" is an extremely catchy and lyrically biting 'anthem' to New York City with a chorus that definitely ranks as a moment I won't get out of my head ('New York is waiting to swallow me down' indeed), and that contributes to making it perhaps the best on the album.  Oh, and that violin solo is a really neat atmospheric moment at the end there as well.  Then there's the horn-driven, sleazy pop tune of "Never Been Sold Before" that creates a similar melodic pleasure in my brain, and "Hard-Hearted Alice" is almost a condensed art rock piece, veering off from its' original vocal melody into a creepy, though not exactly scary, buildup to the chorus.  A very impressive stretch of three songs to start this off with, I must say.

But what about the other two-thirds of the album?  Well, "Crazy Little Child" is one of those moments where the overblown Broadway personality of Alice pops up, with a campy chorus and overall dull atmosphere that I don't really care for too much, but it's not really bad, just the weak point here.  "Man With The Golden Gun" is another, but surprisingly, this one is damn catchy - it was apparently written for a James Bond film only to be rejected, and it certainly sounds like it.  The chorus melody and singing conviction alone ('man with... the golden... gun in his pocket...') is enough to make it a thoroughly entertaining, even if by no means great, song, especially with the horn arrangement popping up throughout.  Kinda neat that these types of songs are on the same album as basic, though fun, barroom rock like "Workin' Up A Sweat", but both work equally well.

Oh, and as for the singles, the title track is definitely one of the highlights, with its' exciting introductory riff and fast-paced bassline getting a tight hard rock song off on the right foot, and the chorus is more evidence of the band's still existing hook power, not to mention the 'race to the end' sort of arrangement at the end is cool (this should have been the closing track, though, instead of the inferior but still okay "Woman Machine").  To a lesser extent, there's the very good folk rock anthem "Teenage Lament '74", making excellent use of pleasant musical tone, an angsty sort of mood in the lyrics, backing vocals, and another wonderfully catchy chorus chant ('what are you... gonna dooooo...')  So in the long run, basically a very good album - a little short on truly fine songs to call it an 8, but a fine farewell to the Alice Cooper Band.  There's really no reason it should be ignored in favor of something like School's Out.

OVERALL RATING: 7.5

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GREATEST HITS (1974)

(reviewed by Nick Karn)

HIGH POINTS: almost everything here is excellent.  LOW POINTS: None.

This is a simply terrific compilation, as it covers the Alice Cooper Band's 'classic' years (before Alice himself went solo the following year with Welcome To My Nightmare) from the early seventies. Throughout these 12 tracks, the listener is treated to a classic dose of massively influential hard rock theater that clearly spoke the frustrations of alienated teenagers everywhere. Menacing and downright over the top, these singles make for an excellent listening experience and introduction to the band, with powerful riffs, cartoonish social commentary lyrics, and extremely catchy, anthemic choruses.  Best of all (and this is the critical part of things) there's not a single weak inclusion on this album, just beginning to end excellence, and considering the Alice Cooper Band wasn't exactly ideal as far as consistency of their albums goes, this might be the best place to start.

Anyway, I'm sure most casual listeners might know at least a few of these tracks here - to name a few examples, "I'm Eighteen", "School's Out", and "No More Mr. Nice Guy" are some of the best hard rock songs to come out of the early 70's, and even slightly lesser known hits like the rousing and convincingly played "Under My Wheels" and "Elected" sound powerful and timeless. It may not hit all the high points of the earlier albums (it's missing the classic, frightening epic "Dead Babies" and the priceless garage rocker "Caught In A Dream", to name a couple, but they weren't hits, I don't think, so that's understandable), but I also don't question the appearance of any of what's here, either - especially the Billion Dollar Babies material.  That's about all I have to say, since I hate reviewing compilations and would rather focus on the studio efforts, but this is one of the more well put together and successful hits albums out there.

OVERALL RATING: 9

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WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE (1975)

(reviewed by Nick Karn)

HIGH POINTS: Welcome To My Nightmare, Escape, Department Of Youth.  LOW POINTS: Some Folks.

Alice Cooper finally goes solo here, and despite the title of his first effort in this position, this isn't really a scary and shocking album.  Sure, it does have its' creepy moments, but what the sound here is actually distinguished by is really overblown, Broadway-ish theatricality.  Like, about a million guest backing vocalists, including a spoken portion by Vincent Price, orchestration all over the place, all sorts of characterizations, really big arrangements, and all sorts of that kind of thing.  Oh, and it's also produced by Bob Ezrin, but you'd probably suspect he would be behind something like this.  I mean, what album has the guy ever worked on that hasn't been completely over the top?  But luckily, though, these potentially disasterous features don't prevent Welcome To My Nightmare from being an impressive, mostly conceptual, outing.  The melodies are perfectly adequate for this type of setting, Alice is in top form vocally and lyrically, and the album flows very nicely, from great rockers to haunting ballads.

The opening title track, in fact, has an almost disco-ish(!) feel to it, especially in the overall rhythm, horns and whatnot, and am I the only one that thinks the organ and Alice's vocal intonations here are reminiscent of The Doors?  Probably not.  It's a very fine and appropriate introduction, though, and has an interesting flow, with a solid vocal melody.  "Devil's Food", while containing the Vincent Price spoken section that's more distracting and over the top than eerie, has a really cool echoey chorus with backing voices combining with Alice's vocals, and it really works the way it fades back in and out, especially in transition to the rocker "Black Widow", which has a cool riff and pace to it.  The swing-ish "Some Folks", however, is somewhat of a throwaway, as it emphasizes the corny Broadway aspect of the album too much, but even that one has a memorable chorus.

The orchestral ballad "Only Women Bleed" is the first of the softer songs on here, and it closes side one on an almost reflective, retro note.  It does, however, seem almost out of whack in the track sequencing in context of the other songs.  "Department Of Youth" is also a really curious entry here, as it's actually quite a fun little rocking tune featuring effective call and response parts with Alice and a bunch of kids. The equally snappy "Cold Ethyl" is the closest thing to an actual straightforward riff-rocking song here, with a striking refrain and almost raw sound to it, and it's interesting it precedes the most overblown moment on the album. This happens to be a suite of three songs lasting around 10 minutes that deal with some kid named Steven, which I don't really know the lyrical or conceptual meaning behind at all.

But this suite does have its' captivating moments, with Alice (at least I think that's him) taking on the part of the boy vocals, from their contracting and expanding effects ('I'm a little boy... NOW I'M A GREAT BIG MAN') over eerie clavinet backing in "Years Ago" to the fast and tense piano barrage and anthemic buildup in "Steven" to the really unresolved climactic portions of "The Awakening".  And it all curiously ends with a glorious rocker "Escape", which has a typically bombastic arena rock riff and vocal melody, and it's really cool the way the chorus is sung ('I escaaaaaayyyyyype.....just get me out of here').  It's one of those things that's too interesting to describe - you really have to hear it.  This is an interesting and confusing, but very melodic and well-arranged, effort that succeeds in spite of its' bombast.  It's not really earthshattering or anything, but it's an entertaining listen anyway, and serves as perhaps the ideal overview of Alice's best aspects as a solo artist.

OVERALL RATING: 8

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ALICE COOPER GOES TO HELL (1976)

(reviewed by Nick Karn)

HIGH POINTS: Go To Hell, Give The Kid A Break, I'm The Coolest.  LOW POINTS: I'm Always Chasing Rainbows.

Again, like Welcome To My Nightmare the title of this album is a hilariously misleading one, as there's almost nothing really scary and creepy about the music contained here, but still, that doesn't mean it isn't good!  Of course, some people would beg to differ on that, claiming that there's two many 'Barry Manilow ballads' and that only three of the eleven songs here rock in any way, but screw them.  When Go To Hell is at its' best, I say that Alice and Bob Ezrin handle mellow territory just about as well as the old band handled the more 'rebellious' stuff - sorry if I'm unable to exactly bash it because it has, God forbid, catchy melodies, an actual sense of humor (which in my understanding should be a key ingredient in making overblown music like this work), plus a good amount of variety and charisma.  And this is coming from someone who's very skeptical when it comes to Broadway musicals, disco and stuff.

And what about the opening title track - that's a total classic, man!  It's this big booming rock anthem where Alice and a few backing vocalists throw out lines like 'you'd poison a blind man's dog and steal his cane / you'd gift-wrap a leper and mail him to your Aunt Jane / you'd even force-feed a diabetic a candy cane' in a vocal tone that isn't scary in the least but is actually hilarious, not to mention the melody is catchy as 'Hell' (pun intended)!  The other two rockers are okay, but they don't exactly match that standard - "Guilty" is pretty much a romp typical of the early classic 71-74 years, though an unmemorable and conventional one, and "Wish You Were Here" doesn't resemble the Floyd classic from a year before one bit, instead choosing to go in an upbeat, catchy funk direction.  That 'having a hell of a time my dear, wish you were here' hook is one of those that sure sticks in your head.

The remainder of the album is mostly all mellow stuff.  I can see why fans would get annoyed that the only types of Alice songs that were becoming hits from this period were sappy ballads, especially since the requisite one from this album is an "Only Women Bleed" rewrite ("I Never Cry").  Despite the lyrical awkwardness and overall vibe, though, I find it pleasant enough.  Same goes with the more bombastically produced power ballads "Wake Me Gently" and "Going Home", plus the more nostalgic ballad/rocker "Didn't We Meet" - there ain't much to say about them individually, but they're good songs, still.  Nice melodies overall.  "I'm Always Chasing Rainbows" does kinda suck in this category, though, because the verse melody and piano arrangement are so awkward and unmemorable in a third rate Elton John-ish way, and when the big chorus hits, the song gains this totally undeserved bloated atmosphere to it.  Oh well, at least it's only a little over two minutes long.

Those ballads aren't the reason the album gets a 7.5 from me, however - it's the three big highlights that push it to that level (the aforementioned "Go To Hell" included).  "I'm The Coolest", sung from the point of view of the Devil (in a low, supposedly 'menacing' voice), boasts a fantastic jazzy groove and bassline - very convincingly rhythmic song.  Or how about the smilarly jokey "Give The Kid A Break", which this time around finds Alice himself in Hell, pleading in conversation with the devil over, get this, a generic 50's vocal and piano melody (with appropriate backing singers in the chorus), and the effect is so utterly stupid it's absolutely hysterical.  Intentionally so, too - I love how this guy can laugh at himself so easily, especially when he's in decline.  Yup, decline - with this album Alice really moves even further away from hard rock and more into camp (check out the dumb, but still catchy, disco of "You Gotta Dance").  He's still in transition from excellent to crap, though, so he's not quite screwed over!  And fortunately, the result is another very good album.

OVERALL RATING: 7.5

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TRASH (1989)

(reviewed by Akis Katsman)

HIGH POINTS: I’m Your Gun, Trash. LOW POINTS: House Of Fire, Only My Heart Talkin’, Hell Is Living Without You.

Trash is Alice Cooper’s famous sell-out album, and one of the least interesting. All songs here are simple and catchy, but in a bad, hair metal way. Still, it’s miles better than Constrictor, arguably Alice’s worst album. Anyways, there are a lot of ‘guests’ on this album, from Desmond Child to Aerosmith members to God knows who else. The lyrics are, of course, about making love and such (didn’t I mention the word sell-out?). Most representative example is the album’s opener “Poison” which became a megahit. It may be catchy, loud, dirty and such, but it’s a terrible song. God, I HATE these vocals in the chorus! And the solo is just generic hair-metal crap. Moreover, the little guitar line before the chorus (well, the pre-chorus actually) is so clearly stolen from the song “Every Breath You Take” by The Police (which was a megahit too). I don’t think it’s a coincidence. But there are much worse songs here! The two ballads of the album, “Only My Heart Talking” and “Hell Is Living Without You” are vomit-inducing, especially the latter. Wow! Alice uses the word “hell” to give a dark feeling and impress the dirty teenagers! Also, what’s goofy in the song is how the word “hell” fits with both sentences before and after the word. Awful, awful, awful. Not to mention the cheap keyboards. But the absolute worst song here, without any doubt, is “House Of Fire” which features one of the worst choruses I’ve heard ever, if not the worst one ever. Unfortunately, it became a big hit too and no late teenage party was complete without this shitty song.

Okay, these were the truly bad songs. Let’s see if the rest is any better… “Bed Of Nails” may not be a good song, but at least it’s got a much better chorus than say, “House Of Fire” and I can sometimes enjoy it. I think it became a hit too. “Why Trust You” starts with a nice riff, but I could live without it, as the chorus is again ugly and pointless. As for “This Maniac’s In Love With You”, it’s a decent song with a somewhat funky feeling and a cool chorus. I can almost say I like it!

What? I said that I like a song off of Trash? Yeah, I did! In fact, there are 3-4 good songs here. Aside for the pretty good “This Maniac’s In Love With You”, good songs include the title track, “Spark In The Dark” and last but not least, “I’m Your Gun”. The title track is very good, it has the best riff in the entire record and a chorus miles better than all these stupid arena choruses on the album. It has a great ending too. “Spark In The Dark” is a very enjoyable rocker with a very solid and memorable riff. It may not be great (it’s still second-rate hair metal), but at least you gotta admit its immediate catchiness. But my favourite song on the album is the last one, called “I’m Your Gun”, which seems kinda out of place on this album. Everything is good about this song! It’s got a great sleazy a-capella intro followed by some seconds of loud drumming, an awesome in-your-face riff and a truly attractive fast chorus that grabs you instantly. The verses are great too. It is maybe one of the best Alice Cooper songs ever, and probably the best song of his hair metal period. No kidding. I think you got my opinion about this album. For the most part, it’s just TRASH. It just lives up to its title. And unfortunately, it’s one of Alice’s most popular albums, at least in Europe. Stay away from it unless you’re a Cooper completist or a Bon Jovi fan. Blah.

OVERALL RATING: 4.5

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