| Plot: Mort Rainey is a writer going through a messy divorce with his cheating wife, so he decides to start on a new story in a secluded cabin. His life soon gets even messier when scary southern dude John Shooter says that he stole his story and before you know it bodies start piling up with all the evidence pointing to Mort. Whether he wants to or not, he has to deal with Shooter. Review: It was on a whim that me and my brother decided to see Secret Window. Not out of curiosity or enthusiasm--just to kill some time since we were stuck in D.C. (who knew the capital of the U.S. could be so tedious?) with nothing to do other than go for a walk, sit on our asses, or stuff ourselves at restaurants. So I had absolutely no expectations whatsoever coming into the movie. Coming out of the movie, I can safely say that if I had any expectations, they weren't met. The best way to describe Secret Window is that it's spectacularly mediocre, and without Johnny Depp and John Turturro, this movie would've gotten one star. The beginning starts off interestingly enough and has our attention...for a little while. During the middle part of the film where everything starts to come together and we know where Secret Window is heading, that's when our interest wanes. I kept finding myself wanting the movie to end. Secret Window's beginning sequences were interesting because they threw some clues our way and made for an intruging thriller, but after a while all that stuff doesn't really matter. So what is the only clue you need to figure out the "plot twist" of the movie? Two words: Pall Mall. If you watch the movie, you'll see what I mean. On another note, the final twist is either a "saw it coming" affair or "that sucks" affair depending on who you are, but in both cases you'll find it to be very disappointing. Mort's relationship with his wife is played up well enough, and gives way to some good scenes between him and his wife's lover (wait, she dumped Johnny Depp for this dickhead?). This turned out to be a nice enough distraction from the main plot, but not much else. The murders themselves were bloody enough for an R rating, but nothing to write home about. There's only so many screwdriver murders that can hold my attention. While most of the film is tedious and predictable, what is the only plus? Johnny Depp keeps this movie alive, he's its heart and soul. Johnny Depp makes Mort Rainey a likeable asshole. All he wants to do is sleep, eat Doritos, and drink Mountain Dew. When he's not doing that, he's pissing off his wife's lover Ted. Johnny Depp has enough charm to carry this movie, but the man can only do so much. John Turturro takes up some of the slack and gives an admirable performance as John Shooter and having a thicker-than-thick southern accent. He's scary and makes a believable enough nemesis for our slothful hero. The last and one of the biggest faults in the movie was its ending. I can't possibly even begin to believe that the police wouldn't be able to solve the murder case with that gigantic clue given to them. The ending is as tacky as they come, maybe not as tacky as A.I., but a close second. In the end, Secret Window is a movie designed for one single purpose--to kill time if you're very bored. If you're in desperate need of some entertainment for 90 minutes, then you might want to check this out. On the other hand, if that doesn't apply to you, then you might as well skip this one. Johnny Depp keeps this movie from sinking entirely, but just not enough for you to have to see this one in theaters. Better off to skip this one. |
| Rating: ** |
| Review by Jim |
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