| Plot: In an American adaption of the popular Japanese manga, Sean Barker is a lame Aikido student turned Zoanoid ass-kicking machine when he becomes the host for an alien suit of armor. Too bad for him that the evil Cronus Corporation's army of genetic freaks and creepy head-hauncho Balcus wants it back. Lots of rubber suits, Aikido action, and arm-ripping ensues. Review: You would've thought that with all the animes I've seen over the years that I'd have somewhere along the lines sat down and watched The Guyver or read the comic books, but nope. So without being a "purist" all I expected out of this adaption of the Guyver was a decent martial arts, super hero flick and that's exactly what I got. Sadly, not everything was peachy with my recent viewing of the Guyver. You have to understand that this was 91/92, before anime and Japanese pop culture had a real market (and Power Rangers was only in its infantcy). So of course this low-budget movie was lost on the movie-going public at the time, but it's held a cult movie status in my heart. However, I have to really get this off my chest before I get to reviewing this movie: the shameless use of Mark Hamill for promotion. On the cover of the movie is half of his face covered in the Guyver armor and he's billed as the lead. C'mon, did Screaming Made George (the director and special effects man) think anybody would believe that Luke Skywalker could be a martial arts super hero? He's not anywhere near being the Guyver, he's a secondary character. It sickens me, nay, wrenches my guts to think that such a bone-headed stunt would be pulled just for a little bit of advertising power. Ahem, now where were we? This of course has "B-movie campiness" written all over it, but on top of this it's low-budget, has corny acting, and cheesy rubber monsters. Sounds like fun to me. The lead actor who plays Sean Barker is Jack Armstrong--you're typical all-American guy...who got on my nerves more than anything. I don't know if Jack just sucks at acting or whether his role was just written to be paper-thin, but Sean Barker came across as an airhead and a fuck-up whom I wouldn't trust to walk down to the store and buy me some milk. The only guy they could get to save the world is a person that could barely take on a few lame monsters even with super strength, is failing badly in his martial arts class (he couldn't even land one throw), and seems to have a strong dose of A.D.D. Not to mention he's riding a moped (or was it a vespa?)--the motorcycle of choice for wimps. But I guess no matter how much you suck at fighting the armor can take care of you. Thankfully, we mostly get to see Sean in his Guyver outfit for the duration of the movie. Then there was Mark Hamill's performace as a well-meaning police officer...being the usual "I used to be in Star Wars, gimme some work!" type of acting. Mark Hamill's performance can only be described as hammy. He's there to move the story along. On the other end of the spectrum there was David Gale's performance as Balcus in which he completely over-acts as the corporate slimeball. He totally chews up every line and every facial expression. But despite his best efforts it's still laughable. Okay, this is one of those types of movies where nothing else matters but the action and it delivers. The effects and suits are better than what you'd normally expect, and Sean's transformation sequences are particularly convincing, but this is where they decide to "American-ize" the Guyver--adding unnecessary and annoying humor. I guess it was because they thought that this was their definition of what a comic book movie was supposed to be. Some of the monsters are made to just look goofy and it doesn't work, for instance MC Stryker. Seeing a gill monster with a silly, pouting face constantly rapping is not my idea of a good time. Nor is a lame reference to Re-Animator (one of the scientists is named Dr. East--a play on Dr. West...har-har) or a goat monster wearing a tie and glasses. Sigh, that's what you get for pulling animal DNA at random out of a hat. However, The Guyver makes up for most of these offenses by giving us some nice action and gore bits. As to how this flick was given the green light for a PG-13 rating is beyond me. We have a ripped arm, a healthy splurting of blood twice, a monster getting hacked open from the inside, and a crushed head. The action wasn't as over-the-top as it could've been taken into account the source material, but for what it is it's not bad. Whoever the guy is in the Guyver suit gives some good Aikido thrashes, and let's be honest, we've been looking forward to him sticking it to these irritating monsters throughout the entire movie. Although as to how he could let MC Stryker live is beyond me. In the end The Guyver is better than other live-action adaptions of Japanese comic books I've seen, which is an impressive feat considering that this is an American adaption. If you're looking for cheesy action and Power Ranger-esque rubber suits, you've come to the right place...but if you're looking for something true to the comic book or deeper than just arm-breaking violence, then this just isn't for you. |
| Review by Jim |
| Rating: **1/2 |
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